[Dominic08]

I know this is one of those taboo things but I just can't help it. My girlfriend of one year has been hinting at having a sexual encounter with another woman. Now in the beginning I want all to know that I don't force the issue. But she has given me several hints that she is willing to.
1) When we go out she gets drunks and makes out with her friends... she has even done it and looked to see my response.
2) She has rented pornography which was all girl and she prefers this type of material as opposed to regular stuff.
3) She has told me she had fantasied about this type of situation while we have sex.
4) She has had an encounter with a female in the past.
Every time I attempt to talk about the subject she gets all embarrassed and she blushes and tells me to shut up. I know it could be she is just trying to mess with my head (which it does) but as a man, an for all of us out there that are afraid to ask... how do I get this to happen, if she wants to, too?? Also if she doesn't, how do I get her to stop putting it in front of me... I mean I faithful and whatnot but its just not fair.

[hollylovesbrandon]

My advice is if you do want to go for it... pop in that same porno and talk about how hott it is. And just subtly mention that it would be even hotter if she was one of the women... and see her reaction. If you don't want it to happen, tell her that it bothers you, you don't want to see it or talk about it. I have a friend and he and his wife are swingers and they couldn't be happier... but it's also not for everyone.

[Synnen]

No matter how much she hints at it--just don't do it. ESPECIALLY if you haven't even TALKED about it with each other before the hints came up.

Very VERY few people can handle the open relationship thing. Yeah, a threesome SOUNDS hot--but how do you deal with the jealousy and other issues afterward?

There have to be VERY strict rules going into a threesome, rules that all parties involve make and agree to--and most people aren't honest about what they want, how they want it, or where their lines are. Part of that is that until you're IN the situation, it's hard to know how you're going to react.

Seriously--keep it fantasy. Talk about it, but make it such that it's "you know that the idea of the 2 of you making out is hot, but I'd rather it were US making out."

That you fantasize (both of you) is healthy. Some fantasies, however, are meant to stay in the head.

I've had successful threesomes, so please don't think I'm totally against them. But from what little you've said about your relationship--I doubt that the openness required for a threesome is there. You have to trust each other absolutely, and that means knowing each other's fantasies. If you don't know her well enough to know whether she really wants this, than your relationship probably can not handle it.