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New Member
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Oct 24, 2007, 11:06 PM
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Gay friend in church
My best friend turned out to be gay(well bi to be exact) and he kind of came out to a few people. He told out main group of friends and one of his best friends since like middle school totally turned her back on him and she is just being a total hypocrite. I really don't get her at all!! Im not all right with his orientation but... hes still a friend of mine. His friend then went and told everyone including the youth pastor(cuz were all 11th and 12th grade) and he took our group of friends and told us that he has decided to turn his back on god and so the bible says that we are not to accept that lifestyle so we need to turn our back on him, not ignore him, but there's no way that we can be best friends with him. That's wrong right? I say its his life and he will have to deal with god. We aren't to turn our backs!! His stupid EX friends are being snobby and I just can not believe it!! They think they are being christians?? They are pitiful excuses of one! God died for ALL of us! He loves ALL of us. He accepts ALL of us. Im against being gay, in the sense that I see it as going against exactly what the bible says, but... they are still people that deserve gods and our love.
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Ultra Member
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Oct 24, 2007, 11:55 PM
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You know, that is a difficult question. Jesus delt with thieves, prostitutes, lepers, cripples, demons and everything else except one gay person. He did say that he who is without blame cast the first stone but I don't really know if that pertains to this one.
Obviously you don't want to mistreat someone or treat them like an outcast. I would say that you just follow the Golden Rule on this one. I think that pretty well covers everything.
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New Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 05:37 AM
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It comes down to the concept of Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin. You can still show the Love of Christ to this person, just as Jesus did to the sinners of His day. You can not approve of his lifestyle, but you can tell him that you love him, and are praying for him. Think of this sin as if it was another sin. If he was a thief, you would still love him, but you could not approve of him stealing things. You would not want to be around him when he is stealing, or hear stories about him stealing. If you still know in your heart that stealing is wrong, you should be convicted to share your concern with your friend about their sin. The same applies to any sin. You can love your friend, but you can not comprimize your beliefs for a "friend".
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Full Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 07:03 AM
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Even when we don't understand the commands of the LORD, we are commanded to obey Him.
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Senior Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 09:45 AM
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When everyone one comes "out of the closet" with their sins [ for example - mine includes, pride, lust, envy , anger ] and is 'cured' then they can turn their backs on your gay friend, until then we are commanded to love. It does not mean accepting sin, it means that God loves us despite our sins and therefore we should love others despite their sins.
Grace and Peace
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Junior Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 04:26 PM
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You shouldn't just ignore him! None of them should! It was his decision and he will have to stand before God because of it. You can still be friends with him, there is nothing wrong with that! You just don't support his decision! I have a friend that's bi too. But he isn't a christian. I like him I just don't support his decision.
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Full Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 04:35 PM
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I don't believe we are to be around those who willfully choose to sin.
Psalm 1
The Way of the Righteous and the End of the Ungodly
1 Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
3 He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.
For the ungodly are not so,
But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
6 For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the ungodly shall perish.
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
Ephesians 5:11
And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them
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New Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 05:57 PM
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 Originally Posted by savedsinner7
I don't believe we are to be around those who willfully choose to sin.
Psalm 1
The Way of the Righteous and the End of the Ungodly
1 Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
3 He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.
4 The ungodly are not so,
But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
6 For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the ungodly shall perish.
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
Ephesians 5:11
And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them
So you mean that I should just stop being friends with him? I mean what kind of witness would that be? Not one at all. God showed his love so I shouldn't? That would be more hurtful! Just dropping a friend at the side of the road and saying that I'm not your friend anymore is just wrong. Its actions like that that make people generalize christians. Just not being a friend to someone anymore would probably make them stop going to church and resent ALL churches. That's really dangerous.
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Full Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 06:06 PM
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I will not tell you what choice to make. I only point out what the Bible says. You are free to choose.
 Originally Posted by campem2
so you mean that i should just stop being friends with him?? i mean what kind of witness would that be? not one at all. god showed his love so i shouldnt?? that would be more hurtful! just dropping a friend at the side of the road and saying that im not your friend anymore is just wrong. Its actions like that that make people generalize christians. just not being a friend to someone anymore would probably make them stop going to church and resent ALL churches. Thats really dangerous.
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Senior Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 06:28 PM
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The bible also supports slavery and states that women should be quiet and not equal to men.
Personally, just because he is gay SHOULD NOT mean anything. That doesn't change how funny he is, how nice he is, or anything else. Its just another form of racism, aka descrimination.
Im a christian but I don't put much thought into the bible. The bible has been translated numerous times and things could have been changed and edited.
Its so old. I hate it when people say don't talk to someone because they are gay or something. Ya you're a good friend, personally you should go to hell for that. Turning your back on people in need.
I would rather be in hell and at least no I helped people than turn my back on my friends and such and be in heaven. That's not right
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Expert
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Oct 25, 2007, 06:35 PM
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The real trouble is, if we are true to God, we have to reject the gay life style, and how can you really stay "best" friends if you are agaist their sexual choices. I have "friends" who are gay, but I doubt if any of us could be best friends since I would have to denouce their lifestyle as a sin, just as if they were a drunk, a theft or any other outward sinner.
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Full Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 06:45 PM
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Sorry you feel that way. Hell is a lonely place of torture. You have the choice to believe what you will.
 Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE
the bible also supports slavery and states that women should be quiet and not equal to men.
Personally, just because he is gay SHOULD NOT mean anything. That doesnt change how funny he is, how nice he is, or anything else. Its just another form of racism, aka descrimination.
Im a christian but i dont put much thought into the bible. The bible has been translated numerous times and things could have been changed and edited.
Its so old. I hate it when people say dont talk to someone because they are gay or something. Ya your a good friend, personally you should go to hell for that. Turning your back on people in need.
I would rather be in hell and atleast no i helped people than turn my back on my friends and such and be in heaven. Thats not right
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Full Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 06:49 PM
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Comments on this post
Gernald disagrees: No one sins because they don't want to. When your driving down the road and swear at someone do you not have the option to not swear?? Humans sin, that's kind of what we're best at, all we can do is hope g-d will accept us for our sinning selves.
May I refer you to the rules on comments?
Positive comments should be given under the following circumstances:
1) From the asker as a thank you
2) From other members to ratify the factual correctness of an answer
3) From other members to agree with the opinions expressed
Negative comments should be given under the following circumstances:
1) From another member when an answer is FACTUALLY wrong
2) From the asker if the advice turned out to be wrong
Negative comments should NOT be given when:
1) there is a difference of opinion not of fact
2) when a response has been added to the thread disagreeing with the opinion
*Please be aware of the rules.
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Full Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 06:51 PM
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Also, I disagree that people don't sin if they don't want to.
This from Romans 7:Law Cannot Save from Sin
13 Has then what is good become death to me? Certainly not! But sin, that it might appear sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that sin through the commandment might become exceedingly sinful. 14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.
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Senior Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 06:52 PM
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Yup I guess ill be in hell with the true good people of the world for the most part. Ill be down there with homosexuals and others who aren't bad people.
And I guess I'm not true to god for looking at how people act instead of looking at if they are just straight or christians.
If the bible said blacks were sinners would you follow that? I wouldn't be surprised if it did. It supports slavery, and who was the common slave? The blacks.
My god is a person of equality, no matter sex, race, IQ, etc...
It all depends on what you do with your life.
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Full Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 06:56 PM
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As I said, you are free to choose.
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Senior Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 07:00 PM
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In addition to that, the ten commandments say that "Thoull shall not steal" or something like that, and yet I bet everyone has stolen something.
There is no commandment that says "Thoull shall not be GAY," so one can conclude that stealing is a bigger deal in gods eyes, and yet people don't discuss that. No one here can tell me they have never broken a commandment. So if you go to hell for being gay and supporting gays, Oh my god! Lawyers, doctors, priests, and all must be going to hell for working with thieves, abusers, etc.. But god forbid, if they worked with a gay person they are going to hell. I don't feel like quoting the one who said you shouldn't interact with gays because that's sinful but, that's a load of crap. Ill see you all in hell I guess, except you perfect people who think you are angels. No offense, but reading what some of you type reminds me of that Iran leader who says the hallocaust didn't exist because basically you guys are saying being gay is worse than stealing and cheating, but yet its not a commandment.
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Full Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 07:11 PM
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There is a difference between one who is living in sin and one who is repentant of sin. The one who repents of sin has forgiveness through Jesus Christ. I freely admit that I am a sinner. I have stolen, lied, committed adultery, prostituted my heart and my mind and my body, taken the LORD's name in vain, had other God's before Him, forsaken the Sabbath, dishonored my mother and father, Jesus said anger is the same as murder--so I'm guilty there too, I have coveted and I have made false witness against my neighbor. I am guilty of all commandments. However, Jesus promises that if I confess my sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. I understand that I am not perfect. I rely on the One Who Is.
 Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE
In addition to that, the ten commandments say that "Thoull shall not steal" or something like that, and yet i bet everyone has stolen something.
There is no commandment that says "Thoull shall not be GAY," so one can conclude that stealing is a bigger deal in gods eyes, and yet people dont discuss that. No one here can tell me they have never broken a commandment. So if you go to hell for being gay and supporting gays, Oh my god! Lawyers, doctors, priests, and all must be going to hell for working with theives, abusers, etc.. But god forbid, if they worked with a gay person they are going to hell. I dont feel like quoting the one who said you shouldnt interact with gays because thats sinful but, thats a load of crap. Ill see you all in hell i guess, except you perfect people who think you are angels. No offense, but reading what some of you type reminds me of that Iran leader who says the hallocaust didnt exist because basically you guys are saying being gay is worse than stealing and cheating, but yet its not a commandment.
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Junior Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 07:15 PM
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who was the common slave? The blacks.
Back then? Hebrews! And who were the Hebrews? God's people. The Bible said nothing about Blacks.
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Junior Member
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Oct 25, 2007, 07:15 PM
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Luke 15: 1-7 Parable of the Lost Sheep
Then drew near unto him all the publicans and sinners for to hear him.
And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.
And he spake this parable unto them, saying,
What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.
I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
In this parable, Jesus teaches us that we are to search for the lost souls. The 99% of on the righteous path are fine and need no assistance. But abandoning the 1% is simply not an option. We need follow Christ's example by seeking out the sinners and help them come back to the flock. To do less means we are also lost. To do less is un-Christian.
You should remain friends with this person, but you should not condone his homosexual lifestyle.
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