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ashbrae3 · Oct 22, 2007, 04:35 AM

I have a 3 year old little boy. He loves to follow me everywhere. I can't go anywhere without him. He cries if he can't see me. He'll always come to me and tell me he wants to see me. My boyfriend thinks I need to stop it that its not good to be a mommys boy. I like that he is a mommy's boy. Is it bad? I don't like that he is constantly behind me, but I like that we're close.

firmbeliever · Oct 22, 2007, 04:45 AM

He is only 3?
I am sure he will outgrow it as he grows up.

And another thing is teach him to be independent,like putting on his clothes by himself,tying his shoes and little things like that will make your little man feel good about himself.

Mommy's boy would be those that grow into adulthood and are still unable to make own decisions without the mother's approval.

Just my opinion...

Bluerose · Oct 22, 2007, 05:38 AM

ashbrae3,

firmbeliever is exactly right. A 'Mommy's Boy' refers to an adult male who can't take care of himself or make a decision for himself.

Your lovely young son is only three years old - he is a baby looking for your love and attention. You can give him everything you can, teaching him along the way to do simple little tasks for himself like choosing what to wear, dressing himself and tying his own shoes.

The child is following you everywhere for a reason. Did you leave him alone for too long on his own or with someone he doesn't know very well? If you must leave him with someone, he will need lots of reassurance that you will be back soon. And when you do come back show him that you are pleased to see him.

Forgive me but your boyfriend is talking rubbish. Take advice from other mothers not boyfriends. Your son shouldn't be following behind you anyway, he should be at your side or better still in your arms getting lots of hugs and kisses.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if you would like to discuss this some more.

anouska79 · Oct 22, 2007, 08:36 AM

He will grow out of it, however you must help him to do so, just a little bit of space goes a long way, I doubt its anything you have done wrong, more likely just that you were a single mom and he is adjusting to sharing you. Try a nursery its hard at first but cutting the apron strings now won't hurt at all, I have 3 sons and the eldest went to nursery wereas the younger two didn't, my eldest is very independent, and has never been clingy but the middle one needed a lot of teaching to be independent at a young age. I often went out one day a week leaving him with my sister in law, at first he would scream when I left, but then after a while he would be waving at me as soon as I put my coat on
!

danielnoahsmommy · Oct 22, 2007, 09:54 AM

He is three years old and perfectly normal. I think your guy is just a bit jealous of all the attention you are giving your son. Men come and go but your son is there for life. Choose wisely

SDRAWKCAB-SDRAWROF · Oct 22, 2007, 10:38 AM

Um, he's 3 years old, three year olds follow their parents around no matter what, it'd be the same with a girl, don't stress about it, I mean look at it this way, if you maintain the same closeness and ability to talk with your son when he's older, he'll be able to ask you important things as a teenager.

startover22 · Oct 22, 2007, 12:41 PM

A lot of guys think this way... that is why they are fathers and we are mothers. We do our part and they do theirs. When the time comes, it will be healthy for him to split (a little) from you. He is your number one... I understand this completely. You will know, he will show you andyou will be just as close sweet! Good luck and keep loving on him... Hugs... Start

ashbrae3 · Oct 23, 2007, 03:06 AM

Thanks for your advice. No, I never leave him anywhere. Only to daycare in the mornings. I'm with him all the time. Is it normal at his age to cry all the time? What I mean by that is, Instead of telling me what's wrong he'll cry. So it seems like he is always crying. I also don't know how to stop his tantrums? I love him so much! He's my one and only. It just frustrates me why he cry's. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong as a mom.

Originally Posted by bluerose

ashbrae3,

firmbeliever is exactly right. A 'Mommy's Boy' refers to an adult male who can't take care of himself or make a decision for himself.

Your lovely young son is only three years old - he is a baby looking for your love and attention. You can give him everything you can, teaching him along the way to do simple little tasks for himself like choosing what to wear, dressing himself and tying his own shoes.

The child is following you everywhere for a reason. Did you leave him alone for too long on his own or with someone he doesn't know very well? If you must leave him with someone, he will need lots of reassurance that you will be back soon. And when you do come back show him that you are pleased to see him.

Forgive me but your boyfriend is talking rubbish. Take advice from other mothers not boyfriends. Your son shouldn't be following behind you anyway, he should be at your side or better still in your arms getting lots of hugs and kisses.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if you would like to discuss this some more.

SDRAWKCAB-SDRAWROF · Oct 23, 2007, 03:18 AM

Perhaps try using picture cards, like with things representation of how he feels? So he could point to it if he's upset?

Bluerose · Oct 23, 2007, 04:52 AM

ashbrae3,

Have him checked over by your doctor to make sure there is nothing wrong medically that he can't tell you about. If that turns out okay, when he is crying for something and you don’t know what he wants, ask him to point to it but say what it is he is pointing at and encourage him to repeat what you said. Try to be patient and talk to him a lot, he might just be lacking the vocabulary to express himself. Watch little kids TV stuff and videos and point out words they are using for certain things. The answer to a lot of these little kid problems is usually lots of love, kisses and hugs.

startover22 · Oct 23, 2007, 08:24 AM

Originally Posted by ashbrae3

Thanks for your advice. No, I never leave him anywhere. Only to daycare in the mornings. I'm with him all the time. Is it normal at his age to cry all the time? What I mean by that is, Instead of telling me whats wrong he'll cry. So it seems like he is always crying. I also don't know how to stop his tantrums?? I love him so much! He's my one and only. It just frustrates me why he cry's. It makes me feel like i am doing something wrong as a mom.

After getting him to a well check with the doctor, you may want to try and get on your knees, ask him to say what he needs instead of cry for it... sometimes that is all it really takes. You need to be strong and be able to tell him he can't get what he wants with crying... only if he tells you. This is hard, but is going to be worth it in the long run, my youngest is four and he started reverting back to whining and crying to get what he wants, no way mama... he has to say it nicely with his manners, and until he does, he isn't getting anything. Tough, but worth it sweet... Hugs and good luck!