[monkeychief]

I am dating a japanese girl and we are about to get married, the only problem comes with her family, they don't approve of us because the color of my skin,(BROWN! Mexican and PROUD OF IT)I don't think that they are racist, I believe that they are old fashioned(I hope so) I would not care if it weren't because she does love her family and I don't want to make her do something that she won't like(such as stop talking to her family). What can I do? Should I pretend that they do like me? Should I tell her?

[shygrneyzs]

I would say hold off on the marriage until you and your fiancé have decided how you both are going to handle the fact her parents do not approve of you. Do you expect her to have absolutely no contact with her parents? You cannot expect that. That is unrealistic.

Do you know for absolute sure that your skin color is the reason why they do not approve of you? Is that what they told you? Or is that what you think? Have you honestly sat down and talked about the way you feel about their non approval of you? If you cannot communicate now, you are in for a tough haul. Sure, one can cut off parental ties and go and make their own lives. But if your fiancé is close to her parents, it is not fair to her. What happens when children come into the family?

You HAVE to tell your fiancé NOW about what you are feeling and your perception of her parents. This is something too big to ignore - like ignoring the elephant in the room. Cannot be done. Hopefully when you do talk to her about this, it will open up a great discussion about her parents, feelings, attitudes, etc. Make it a vital point to talk to your fiancé ASAP.

[BiWiccanAndProud]

I agree with shy 100%! You need to talk about this to your fiancé asap! You may even discover it's not about your skin.