[Journalist_2004]

Ever since I met my boyfriend of one in a half years now, my life has changed for the better... and the worse. Before me and him got into something deep, we were best friends and we were able to talk about anything and everything, no matter what it was... but now that we're together, it's hard for me to really express my feelings to him because I'm afraid I might make a big mistake on saying something I don't mean and it'll hurt his feelings. There were too many times when he told me that, no matter what I ask or need to know, it will never make him feel a certain way, but every time I did express myself, he felt a certain way about it regardless and it made me feel hesitant about talking to him about something ever since. The problem is, he didn't graduate from high school (I'm in college, by the way), and he was supposed to graduate in 2006... this is around the time I met him- I was trying my best to get him on the right track but he still didn't graduate because it was too late. Before, I didn't care much that he didn't make it because I knew that he was going to get himself together, but now that I've been with him for a long time, I realize that the disappointment that I never felt for him before is here now... I feel disappointed in him and I feel like a can't have no faith in him because every time he said he's going to make things better, it seems like he only talks about it and never really acts on it. It gets irritating sometimes because I put so much faith into him and now he's trying to better himself but it's still hard. I've had a rough past with him for a past few months. My parents didn't like him because they thought that he was a bad influence on me because of the way that I was acting, and I agree with them in some cases, but he's still my best friend and I love him, but sometimes it feels like I give too much of myself and I can't seem to stop because I'm afraid to lose him. I get insecure sometimes when we're having a fight and I get insecure when he's not talking to me. I try to do things to make myself think that he's just a guy and that there's nothing that important for me to get so caught up over but it's so hard. I cry a lot without him knowing and I want to stop feeling this way. At one point, I was thinking about breaking up with him just to keep myself clear of the pain but the pain just got worse for me. I'm so confused of what I need to do. Can you please, please, give me some kind of direction for me to stop feeling this way? Please..

- Ju-Ju

[cerisa]

What reason does he give for not finishing high school?if he has a learning disability he needs to find help for it. If he has other problems- he needs to tell you.
It is hard to make any kind of a living without a high school diploma at least. College is not for everyone though. There are great jobs for skilled trades. An HVAC technician, plumber , or an electrician make very good wages. There are good jobs in electronics.
If he does have a learning disability, realise that people with a learning disability are not dumb. Many are of a superior intellect. In any case, he needs to work on a better future for himself at least.
You need to talk with him about your fears for your future with him.

[enigmagnetic]

You seem slightly co-dependent and you are insecure. The frustration will only get worse if you stay with him and he doesn't change. What I don't get is that you're still really hurt yet you said "now he is trying to better himself". Is this not what you wanted? I thought you were happy with him attempting and that his stagnation irritated you. You must know it will be hard while he betters himself. Now, if you clearly can't be happy with him and everyone around you is telling you to leave him and you have your doubts you have to understand that the pain of breaking up with him, while worse, is also a lot more temporary than the pain and frustration of sticking with someone you are unhappy with. You have to be happy before you can make someone else happy. I think I said happy like 17 times. Good luck with your happiness!