[lobrobster]

Ok, so here's my first question ever on this site. I hope it's the right forum. Sorry if it's too long, but this has really been buggin me and I'd like to get the right answer.

There's this girl at my company that's really making me self-conscious. I'm not sure if her actions are a form of flirting, or if she thinks I'm a total creep. I'm trying to add up past encounters with this girl and figure out what (if anything), they mean. Here's some history...

I don't know this girl, but we've had a few short conversations about nothing. Mostly just out of politeness. How was your xmas? Yada, yada stuff.

A while back we were working on the same project and I couldn't help notice that she hit me almost every time we passed each other. Usually with a comment like, "You again?", or "Are you causing trouble?", etc. I'm pretty shy, so I just kind of ignored it.

One time we were the only two in the cafeteria and she spilled hot coffee on herself. I was on the phone and heard her scream, but wasn't sure what it was about. When she passed me she said, "You were supposed to come to my rescue!".

Once in a while, I'd wander into her department and she'd accuse me of following her. She didn't seem mad, but she seemed serious. But here's the real kicker that's got me paranoid...

I was talking with a colleague when she came up and joined the conversation. She mentioned she was attending an optional seminar the following week. I didn't mention it at the time, but I was also going. When she saw me at the seminar, she freaked! She was like, "You're here because you knew I'd be here, aren't you?", "Oh my God, I can't believe you came here to see me! I think I'm going to fall over!", etc. etc.

I mean, how was I supposed to respond to that? I basically went along with it and tried to make a joke, telling her I came to give her a hard time about her filing (inside joke). But I basically sat somewhere else and ignored her. During a break she said, "I thought you were going to give me a hard time?". I laughed it off and spent the rest of the seminar with a colleague. Next time I saw her she was kind of cold to me.

My question is, does this girl really think I'm some creep who was out to stalk her? I feel really uncomfortable around her now. On the one hand, I want to explain that I would never "really" follow someone around. At the same time, I'm wondering if maybe this all had to do with her liking me and now she thinks I'm a jerk for ignoring her. The thing is, I actually like her, but was always seeing someone else whenever we ran into each other.

I'm trying to figure her out. Some things point to normal flirting. Some things point to nothing at all. Some things point to her thinking I'm a weirdo who follows women around? So what's the most likely case? Thanks.

Rob

[Tara032380]

Sounds like she likes you, to me. And if you think you might like her too, if given the chance, then my advice would be to make it happen. The next time you run into each other or see each other, during conversation, you should offer up a spot to meet outside of work sometime and see if she takes the bait.

For example, I would say to a guy I like, "You should join me for a drink or conversation sometime. I usually frequent this place on such and such night, so if your interested come hang out. I plan to be there this such evening about this such time. Hope to see you there." If she shows, she is interested. If she doesn't, then no hard feelings and keep your relationship strictly professional.

Hope it works out.

[N0help4u]

Yeah sounds like she likes you but at this point if you try and initiate anything she react with the accusing "are you stalking me" type stuff. Maybe wait until she makes another comment and respond with a "thought you'd never ask" type remark if you want to show interest back.
Or maybe you could just confront her and say something like "Am I doing better at not stalking you. I'd like to know because after all I REALLY don't want to offend you."

[lobrobster]

Sounds like she likes you, to me. And if you think you might like her too, if given the chance, then my advice would be to make it happen. The next time you run into each other or see each other, during conversation, you should offer up a spot to meet outside of work sometime and see if she takes the bait.

For example, I would say to a guy I like, "You should join me for a drink or conversation sometime. I usually frequent this place on such and such night, so if your interested come hang out. I plan to be there this such evening about this such time. Hope to see you there." If she shows, she is interested. If she doesn't, then no hard feelings and keep your relationship strictly professional.

Hope it works out.

Thanks Tara. Even if she did like me, I'm pretty sure the moment has passed. This has been going on for almost a year now and last time I saw her she went out of her way to mention her boyfriend to me (which made me think she really did think I was some creep who was stalking her). Isn't that a hint to "leave me alone!"?

Anyway, that's what's making me paranoid. I don't want her to think I'm a pervert or creep. It just bugs me that no matter what she thinks about me, it almost has to be wrong and now there's no way for me to explain this to her without making a total idiot of myself! -lol

[Tara032380]

Well, with that bit of more info I would say that maybe she liked you in the beginning but due to you not being available at the time, she might have lost that feeling and is now directing anger your way because you never reciprocated back. Again, you never know what type of woman she may be. Counld she be telling you about this mysterious boyfreind to see your facial and verbal reactions? Who will know? You either take the plunge or not, either way just be happy with your decision.

I would not make every stride to avoid her, but if she would make anymore comments about stalking, that is the time to react. Come back, ask her if she really feels that way or if she is just joking. From there the conversation should flow. :rolleyes:

[allroadsleadtojamaica]

Lobrobstars got a girlfriend lobrobsters got a girlfriend... just kidd ing. Oh yeah she like you a lot.

[Death_Maniac]

I'm not a girl but I have kind of the same problem. Im a sophomore in high school and I really have a problem with liking the wrong girls. The one I like right now (and for the past 3 1/2 years) I'm not sure about because we say hi & stuff but then again, I think she might be evading me. Whenever I feel close enough to ask her out, she's either already taken or I just shy away from her and just pass it by.I have previous posts on the site similar to this one (please reply!! )

[Gernald]

Awww she likes you... just ask her out already!!
If she thinks you're a stalker ask the next time you run in to her. If she's was joking she'll probably just laugh or something.
Hope it works out :-)

[lobrobster]

Awww she likes you....just ask her out already!!!!
If she thinks your a stalker ask the next time you run in to her. If shes was joking she'll probably just laugh or something.
Hope it works out :-)

Thanks Gernald,

She never actually called me a "stalker". Just insinuated I liked her and was following her around. I'd feel like a total dweeb if I asked her if she was serious and it turned out she was only joking (most likely the case). So do you see my dilemma? If she's joking, I'm a dweeb. If she's serious... OMG, that means she really thinks I'm some creep! I feel like nothing good can come of this. And the longer I don't know what she thinks, the more self-conscious I am about it. I'm just wondering why she would say that in the first place?

On a side note, the other day this (other) girl said, "I know you like me, so you can stop flirting with me!". She was laughing when she said this, and we kid around a lot, but I wasn't flirting and can't think of anything I did or said to indicate I like her. So what's up with that? Maybe I'm staring at girls without realizing it? She's really cute so I'm not saying I DON'T like her.

I'm starting to think girls just like to play games. Especially really attractive ones who are used to guys fallomg all over them. And when one doesn't, they just make stuff up to get a reaction. I posted this hoping to get a better understanding of what the heck goes through a girl's mind! -lol

[cerisa]

Looks like she just does not have social skills and wants you to really really notice her.
If you like her ask her to coffee, she can take it from there, decline, accept, explain, whatever.

[misscat]

Ok, so here's my first question ever on this site. I hope it's the right forum. Sorry if it's too long, but this has really been buggin me and I'd like to get the right answer.

There's this girl at my company that's really making me self-conscious. I'm not sure if her actions are a form of flirting, or if she thinks I'm a total creep. I'm trying to add up past encounters with this girl and figure out what (if anything), they mean. Here's some history...

I don't know this girl, but we've had a few short conversations about nothing. Mostly just out of politeness. How was your xmas? Yada, yada stuff.

A while back we were working on the same project and I couldn't help notice that she hit me almost every time we passed each other. Usually with a comment like, "You again?", or "Are you causing trouble?", etc. I'm pretty shy, so I just kinda ignored it.

One time we were the only two in the cafeteria and she spilled hot coffee on herself. I was on the phone and heard her scream, but wasn't sure what it was about. When she passed me she said, "You were supposed to come to my rescue!".

Once in a while, I'd wander into her department and she'd accuse me of following her. She didn't seem mad, but she seemed serious. But here's the real kicker that's got me paranoid...

I was talking with a colleague when she came up and joined the conversation. She mentioned she was attending an optional seminar the following week. I didn't mention it at the time, but I was also going. When she saw me at the seminar, she freaked! She was like, "You're here because you knew I'd be here, aren't you?", "Oh my God, I can't believe you came here to see me! I think I'm going to fall over!", etc., etc.

I mean, how was I supposed to respond to that? I basically went along with it and tried to make a joke, telling her I came to give her a hard time about her filing (inside joke). But I basically sat somewhere else and ignored her. During a break she said, "I thought you were going to give me a hard time?". I laughed it off and spent the rest of the seminar with a colleague. Next time I saw her she was kinda cold to me.

My question is, does this girl really think I'm some creep who was out to stalk her? I feel really uncomfortable around her now. On the one hand, I want to explain that I would never "really" follow someone around. At the same time, I'm wondering if maybe this all had to do with her liking me and now she thinks I'm a jerk for ignoring her. The thing is, I actually like her, but was always seeing someone else whenever we ran into each other.

I'm trying to figure her out. Some things point to normal flirting. Some things point to nothing at all. Some things point to her thinking I'm a weirdo who follows women around? So what's the most likely case? Thanks.

Rob

Sounds to me like she likes you.
Flirt with her a little and see if you get any flirtatious vibes back.
If you're not sure that she's flirting with you, but she's not completely blowing you off, ask her on a small date. Not something like a dinner and a movie just yet because the two of you need some alone time to chat in a local coffee shop or something, so it's not too much like a serious date, and she'll know you're remotely interested in her.
See how things go, and if they go well, ask her out for the next weekend.
If she says yes, then you can take her out to eat or something.

Hope I helped (:

[Silent Breeze]

All right, I am a girl and here I am telling you what I think. She likes you. Most girls wouldn't tell you they like you, some of them are really shy. She's showing you she's interested but trying to play hard to get.. kind of confusing, obviously she's not so good.
Here's something to think about, when she joked with you when she saw you in her class and said you were stalking her, didn't she come back to when you didn't talk to her? That's a pretty good sign she wants you to notice her and give her attention.
And all those times when she'd bump into you, I think she's just trying to get your attention and trying to confuse you so you won't see how interested she really is so you won't think she's too upfront.
But remember, no one can tell you the 100% correct answer unless it's the person your asking about.
I can't help but to agree with Gernald, joking about the matter could really help you see the truth. She may not have said the word but she gave many signs, I think you'll be finally clearing the air she wants you to clear.
Goodluck!

[lobrobster]

Thanks Silent Breeze,

I think you may be right. Unfortunately, I waited too long. It would be stupid to bring it up now and besides, I know she met someone recently. I mainly wanted to know if I was too dumb to take a hint. It looks like I was.

[Silent Breeze]

Thanks Silent Breeze,

I think you may be right. Unfortunately, I waited too long. It would be stupid to bring it up now and besides, I know she met someone recently. I mainly wanted to know if I was too dumb to take a hint. It looks like I was.

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find someone else you'll spend your nights wondering what she meant. But please, next time, try to post your question soon enough, so I can try to give you a little more insight on the situation :p
Sorry it was too late, but I hope I helped you for future situations..
Sincerely,
Silent Breeze