[Avaly]

The guy I am interested in has been in Iraq for a few months.. we met right before he left and hit it off and have kept in contact. He has written me a few flirty emails and a letter and has said that he wants to see me when he gets back but I still don't know if he is really interested. I have written him letters and emails also and understand that he is at war and is super preoccupied. Just when I think he is interested he seems to pull away and I don't hear from him for weeks. I really like this guy and want to be patient... just don't know what to do really. I would totally wait for him if he would just give the word. Should I keep writing even when I don't hear from him? Any other ladies been in this situation? Would love to hear a guy's perspective too! Could really use some input! Thanks! :o

[Chery]

Hello Avaly,

As you said, he is in the military and at in a war-zone, so he probably cannot do anything on a pre-defined schedule. It is also hard to get network access in that region and there are a lot more individuals trying to use a few computers, so it probably will be sporadic. That is normal. He might also be on a few missions and not always on a base relaxing.

I'm a former military wife,and I also have a brother in Afghanistan. I hardly hear from him and constantly wonder why I don't - but that's just part of life when you care for someone who is in a place that is hard for you to fathom. Life is not easy for anyone who is in uniform, but has to do a job that must 'civilians' don't understand.

If there is a military base near you, or other families with deployed members, see if you can start a dialog and ask them how they cope. It's not an easy thing to cope with all alone - and none of us do. We all need a place to go where there are supportive people around to help us deal with our fears and doubts.

If you are serious about this guy, you'll have to probably learn a bit about military life anyway, so now is probably a good a start as any.

And, just like all separated couples in any relationship, communication is important, so please keep those letters and emails going if you care. Time and a lot of communication will help you both find out if you are right for each other.

Keep us posted, and good luck.



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[N0help4u]

Yeah my son has been in Iraq about two months now and he said I won't hear from him for at least two weeks cause he is going on a mission.
If he said he wants to see you when he gets back I am sure he felt that was sufficient enough to mean what he said. If you are there for him through his time there and after all the wait I think that will say something in your favor.

[shygrneyzs]

Don't put the cart before the horse in this friendship, possible relationship. Accept that he likes you and that he said he wants to see you when he comes home. Continue to write and be supportive. Beyond that, you cannot ask for much more. He is not in a place to make a commitment. But he is in a place to have a really good friend that will listen and care and pray for him. That is you. May this all work out for the best for both of you.

[N0help4u]

Shy
Well said!