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whiteribbon · Oct 4, 2007, 08:56 AM

Hi

Just wanted to vent really - I got dumped 4 days ago by my man of 7 months - reason being that he didn't love me or ever did, the guy wasn't nasty at all in fact seemed quite upset about it all and said he couldn't make his mind up because he didn't want to risk making the wrong decision, didn't really want to lose me because I was the 'perfect girlfriend in his eyes' - obviously not!

I then decided just to walk away from him and I haven't contacted him since... a few questions though - maybe you can help?

1) Have had texts and emails everyday since asking if I'm OK cause he cares about me - have had an email telling me I'm beautiful, caring, loving, pretty, sexy and he's sorry - I have not made the slightest effort to contact him as I basiclly don't want to - if he didn't want me then I will not be giving him the satisfaction of knowing how I am!

2) The guy has left up pictures and relationship status as being with me on his myspace account - I have since deleted him from there!

If someone doesn't want you anymore - doesn't love you then why do they bother getting in contact??

3) Im kind of feeling OK about this break up after 2 days I was laughing about it, I feel guilty cause I'm not that upset and its not normal to feel like that - my last breakup was a terrible time for me but this one seems OK - what's going on? maybe I knew deep down he didn't have those feelings for me, well in fact I did know cause he never said those 3 words to me!

Anyway sorry if anyone can send me a few replies that would be great and much appreciated! :)

PLEASEEEEEEEE!!

mahal_kita9 · Oct 8, 2007, 10:29 AM

You said he never loved you... but he has to have some type of feeling going on if he is contacting you so much.
Ignoring/avoiding him can help you with moving on... unless it just worries him more.
Maybe you should tell him that you don't want to speak or see him anymore, or at least for a while, because you want to move on.
Hope that helped?

whiteribbon · Oct 8, 2007, 10:35 AM

He said he didn't have the love feelings for me just that he really liked me, enjoyed my company, liked me a lot and that it was the hardest choice to let me go - I'm not the type of person to beg for him to change his mind hence why I'm not contacting him - everyone around me says I'm doing the right thing - I'm not doing it to mean to him - I just wonder if he doesn't feel love for me then why be so bothered about me??

Jiser · Oct 8, 2007, 10:41 AM

It sounds like he still cares for you but no longer has the feelings needed to continue a romantic relationship with you. At least he was honest and told you.

Its time now to walk away and leave the past where it is. After a breakup we are in an emotional minefield. The only way to sort yourself out is to go no contact. Due to the know hard feelings or bad brakeup happenings you could say to him: "I think its best we don't speak for a while so I can move on with my life!"

This doesn't mean you won't be friends in the future but you have to let the emotional dust settle before anything else happens.

You can use your new found freedom now to enjoy life, to go out to BMTH clubbin ;], what have you allways wanted to do? Go travelling? Start a new sport? Join the gym? Well nows that time. Reunite with old friends and make sure the end of the relationship gives you a kickup the to change old routines.

Its not the end of the world, its far from it, you will learn and take things in to your next relationship with you. No contact for now please, that means msn, phone number, myspace all gone, all the things which remind you of him - In a box please, and in time life will get easier. Remove the confusion which is him and you will be fine :)

Its not his or your fault that you didn't fit, he feels guilty and your obviously a nice girl but there will be others no problem :)

whiteribbon · Oct 8, 2007, 10:57 AM

Yes Jiser - I've been out in our lovely town all weekend having fun - I've started kickboxing, massive stress release - I recommend that to anyone!! I've deleted myspace, I've deleted numbers, msn everything you can speak of and as yet had no desire to contact him!! Whoop whoop me!! Hee hee!

Thanks xxxx

Jiser · Oct 8, 2007, 11:06 AM

Congrats, I am sure kicking people about helps a great deal lol! Where do you do that? I know a few people who run those classes. Ur be fine just keep on trekking through it and your be good in time.

whiteribbon · Oct 8, 2007, 12:51 PM

It certainly does!! Do it at Ashdown Leisure Centre!
Thanks for the wise words, it certainly helps - how are u by the way??

Jiser · Oct 8, 2007, 03:28 PM

Ahh cool poole way then I played badminton there a few times. I am over xchurch way but go to uni in bmth and work in Upton.

I am stressed. ;] Lots on, uni, work arghhh! You have MSN or anything? It would be cool to chat to someone from here - who's a local.

whiteribbon · Oct 10, 2007, 01:41 AM

Ive added you on msn...

Another quick question - why am I feeling bad because I haven't let him know I'm OK?? Surely I shouldn't be wanting to ease his guilt, plus I'm not OK so that would be a lie, I'm good one day and rubbish the next! Arggghhhhhhh thank god for kickboxing!

talaniman · Oct 10, 2007, 10:34 AM

You are doing the right things and don't feel guilty, because its his loss, and your gain. You will find some one better.

Jiser · Oct 10, 2007, 10:57 AM

Yup you will find someone better. Work on yourself for the time being and don't rush into anything!

whiteribbon · Oct 11, 2007, 01:10 AM

Got yet another text last night - saying that he doesn't deserve the silent treatment and there isn't a day that goes past when he isn't thinking of me xxxx
I did reply this morning just to make him stop texting - I asked him what exactly he expected me to do, he didn't want me in his life and I'm now I'm not so what was his problem? - he has not replied - now I'm kind of wishing I hadn't replied this morning. Mmmmmmm?

whiteribbon · Oct 11, 2007, 02:31 AM

Right well he text back - just put - I'm so sorry x

what a loser I have deleted and will never reply again - go me!

Sorry I'm just venting my anger, and need some words of encouragement!

talaniman · Oct 11, 2007, 06:37 AM

You drew a line in the sand, and stood up for yourself. That's great, and will go a long way in the way you treat yourself, and expect others to treat you. You have your control back!

whiteribbon · Oct 11, 2007, 08:23 AM

Thank you xxxx

Swordfish206 · Oct 19, 2007, 05:15 PM

Crazy how our situation is almost similar. First they love you, then they're confused, then they want to break up but still be your "friend". What is this, high school!? NO!! Im glad you and I decided to just say fine, you don't want to be with me then GO! And I know what you mean about the random texts too. She would text me out of the blue just to see how I was doing. Or to ask me for directions. Or to ask me if id seen the new 2008 Honda Accords... HAHA, I know!! Anyway, You've done the right thing as well and its good that you found something to release your stress. For me its riding my bike... for you its kicking! So pat to you on the back as well!!

whiteribbon · Oct 22, 2007, 02:34 AM

Ahh thanks hun! Been 3 weeks now and no more contact from him, think he may of got the message!! Thank god! Bike riding eh? Id love to do that too!! Hey I think I might learn! Keep your head up, dignity and respect and lets wave a final farewell to those pair of LOSERS!! Yippeeee!! I actually feel fab! Xxx

Swordfish206 · Oct 22, 2007, 09:49 AM

CRAZY!! Im coming on on 3 week this week too with absolutely no contact. Think she got the pic too... haha. Anyway, farewell to those losers is right!! In my opinion karma will be a bigger than both of us can be!! And you should learn how to ride a bike. It's a chick magnet! (Guy magnet for you of course... ) Well, I'll make sure to keep in touch with you and see how you're doing if you don't mind!

whiteribbon · Oct 23, 2007, 03:14 AM

Swordfish - be great to carry on chatting - ride the waves together and all that! I lookforward to hearing from you! WR xxx