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traveler79 · Oct 9, 2007, 01:19 PM

I know it may sound played out and dumb. But, I broke up with my boyfriend of a year recently. We had been fighting and we both said some mean things. I have forgiven him but he still holds what I said to him as an absolute truth and won't forgive me. How do I show him I still care and the things that were said don't mean anything?
Also, there has been tons of outside stressors on the relationship which is why we started fighting in the first place. He just bought a new building, he is starting a new business, his father is dying of cancer and we are both in financial hardships right now. We also hadn't had sex in months. He is determinded to blame all his stress and anger on me. He won't let me fix any of my mistakes. How do I help him see it is the situation we are in and not us that is the problem? How do I help him see that we are good together? Is there anything I can do other than giving him space? How do I make him desire me again without seeming pushy or putting any pressure on him?:confused:

Zell · Oct 9, 2007, 04:53 PM

Hmm, I know when my girlfriend broke up with me I would message her all the time in hope that something I said would make her miss/want me again. And we argued a lot and said some things that we didn't mean as well, and even though I'm over her, I won't ever forgive her for some of the stuff she said, because, yea it was said in the heat of the moment, but it was designed to hurt, which it did.

The best advice I can give you (im only 20 btw) is maybe be there for him through his difficult time with his father and work. Or you can do No Contact and let him sort stuff out on his own, and maybe he will see that you are good togther.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 9, 2007, 04:59 PM

Give him space. Allow him to deal with all of the pressures in his life right now. If it is meant to be, it will be. In the meantime, leave him alone

friend4u178 · Oct 9, 2007, 05:15 PM

Unfortunately there is no sure fire way to get your Ex back. The only way he will come back is if HE wants to. Therefore it's best at the moment to go NC so there is at least a chance he MIGHT miss you. The more you try to push right now the more he will pull away.

ForeverZero · Oct 9, 2007, 07:05 PM

You can't help him see anything. All you can do is state the facts and hope he agrees. Unfortunately, some people aren't wired the same way their partner is, which means you can't do anything but let him see what life is like without you in it, and hope it's not better.