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mistyamanard · Oct 8, 2007, 07:50 PM

Wellthis is my issue. I can't have any kids. A old friend of mine go she self put in jail and it is going to be 25 years or so when she gets out... Yeah I know bad mother. Any way she has a 8 year old son that I help raise for awhile. While he is now living with his father and him and his wife does not want him they already have 4 kids. They want to sign him over to me. I guess what I'm asking is what does it take to do so and can it be done? The boy is 8 years old and needs lots of love that I myself and Husband can give him... what do I do. Do I let them turn him over to the state, which to me is not an option. I just know what I have to do on my part...

Misty

N0help4u · Oct 8, 2007, 08:02 PM

Do not turn him over to the state. Get the necessary papers and with both parties agreeing it shouldn't be that complicated hopefully.

ada402 · Oct 8, 2007, 10:09 PM

Both parties need to go to a lawyer. The child in question should be in counseling and his wishes should be taken into account. A family lawyer can draw up adoption papers which means the mother and father must terminate their parental rights to the child. Good luck. I sincerely hope that when you do gain custody of this child you try to maintain a healthy relationship between him and his natural parents.

mistyamanard · Oct 9, 2007, 07:03 AM

See that us the thing his mother is in jail and is going to prison. His father don't want him. So that is were he stands and I just want to make him happy, loved and wanted. I know how it feels not to be wanted and unhappy growing up and I don't wish that on any person, let alone a child that needs it the most.

ScottGem · Oct 9, 2007, 07:06 AM

We understand the situation, but you need to understand the process. The process is you have to formally adopt the child or have yourself appointed legal guardian. This has to be done through the courts. This also has to involve your local family services agency.

It can be done, especially if you have a history with the child and he wants to be with you. But you have to go through the proper channels.

ada402 · Oct 9, 2007, 09:25 AM

Yes, contact a lawyer ASAP. But keep in mind that the father may not want anything to do with the boy, but the mother may want to keep some sort of communication with her son. I sincerely hope you gain custody of this child rather than have him end up in CPS. At least if his mother wants some sort of relationship allow that for his sake. In that way he will come to understand that his mother made mistakes and is paying for them although she loves him and he will love you all the more for it. Prison and losing a child has a way of changing people drastically.
In some cases you may be able to go to the juvenile court and file a petition on your own. If neither parent appears then the judge is likely to terminate the parental rights and give guardianship to you if you can prove that you are the main caregiver. Also if you can have the mother, who may have a court appointed attorney anyway, have that attorney draw up papers making you the godparent of the child which will allow you guardianship.