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Rebbeca02 · Oct 7, 2007, 12:40 AM

Is there a child abandonment law for dead beat dads in California? My son is 5 years old and does not know his father, and he does not or never has received child support from him. I haven't heard from his father in over 4 1/2 years. He is a alcoholic, and I am fine with him not paying any child support just as long as he has no rights. Please help, I'm just looking out for my sons physical and emotional safety.

ScottGem · Oct 7, 2007, 01:14 AM

Terminating parental right is a serious business. Most courts will not grant it unless to clear the way for an adoption or where the parent presents a danger to the child. I don't see either in your case.

Effectively, the father has relinquished his rights so I'm not sure what more trying to do it formally will get you. You can talk to someone at your local Family Court about what the procedure is, but frankly I think you are making a mistake. I'm assuming you have Full Custody and that there is no court ordered visitation in place. This would mean there is no issue of physical safety since there is no reason to leave the child alone with him. As for emotional safety, I think you stand to do more damage by removing any possibility of your son getting to know his father. He is going to want to at some point. For now, you answer any questions by telling your son that his father is very sick and can't be with him now, that its possible him may never recover from this sickness. As he gets older you can explain what the sickness is.

Rebbeca02 · Oct 7, 2007, 01:59 AM

Thanks for the comment Scott. It's very sad that our courts may not find a alcoholic with 2 DUI's being a danger to a child, I'm sure MADD would disagree. Being drunk 5 days out of a week doesn't seem to be a responsible parent to me. As for me protecting my sons emotional safety maybe your right about the abandonment issue but do I chance my son having a relationship with his father and maybe picking up some bad habits like drinking (statistics shows that alcoholism is genetic). The reason why I formally want full custody is to protect us from the horror stories that I have heard, about parents popping up when they pleased, No his father has not come around and he may not, I just wanted to take precautions just in case he did.

ScottGem · Oct 7, 2007, 02:08 AM

I'm not saying he isn't a danger. But as long as he has no court-ordered visitation then he isn't. Without court ordered visitation, you do not have leave him alone with your son. You do not have to let your son get in a car with him. This is what I mean by the courts not finding him to be a danger. If he shows up sober to spend some time with your son in your back yard under your supervision, then there would not seem to be a danger. And it is possible for alcholics to recover. They will never not be alcholoics, but they can be sober.

If you do not have full legal and physical custody with no unsupervised visitation, you should pursue that, but that's different from perminating parental rights.