[kisherie]

HI

I'm feeling very sad these days. My life seems good enough. I work hard and am now in a PhD program of my liking. But I have been so focused on ambition and caught up with success that I find myself terribly lonely. I do have some friends but they are in different cities and I barely keep in touch. I get along with people usually but have few close relationships. I keep feeling that social life is very fake-and I have to be fake to thrive in it so I keep away. But then I am not able to form close relationships as much as I would like to. What is worse is that now I feel the need to find someone special-a boyfriend. My friends are getting married already and I haven't even had a relationship! I'm 24 so I still have some time-before it gets too late. What should I do? I don't even know where to begin. I feel so self conscious-so unattractive, so inept to deal with this.I don't seem to find anyone attractive either? I want to fall in love but how?! Why can't this happen to me? Help, I'm desperate!

[Clough]

For one thing, please don't feel pressured or rushed about the relationship thing. If something is meant to happen, it will happen in time. Too many mistakes have been made with people thinking they just have to been in a relationship or married.

I applaud you for being in a PhD program. What is it in?