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ashley22 · Oct 4, 2007, 06:43 PM

Hi this is my first time using this site but I have a problem I'm having trouble dealing with... I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and I think he's cheating on me... I just have this strong gut feeling plus (we don't live together) but I talk to him 4 or more times thur the day but at night I can never get a hold of him he'll just text me early at like 9 or 10 saying he's tired and is going to bed, but still won't answer if I call... he just says I caught him at bad times and is very secretive... I just don't want to believe it cause I love him more then anything and don't want to be without him, what should I do??

talaniman · Oct 4, 2007, 09:43 PM

I just don't want to believe it cause I love him more then anything and don't want to be without him, what should I do??

I understand your feelings, but if you've been putting up with this behavior this long, what would his motivation be to change? I don't know if he is cheating, but I do know you have enabled his behavior, by acceptting it. Ain't that much love in the world. How old are you, and have you never spent the night at his place??

ashley22 · Oct 4, 2007, 11:02 PM

I'm 22 and he's 24... you I spend the night maybe once or twice a week, he's really sweet and caring when he's around me but as soon as he's gone its imposible to get a hold of him never mind ask where he is without him getting mad

Leidenschaftlich für Wahr · Oct 4, 2007, 11:10 PM

Hmm, you should show up at midnight sometime with a really great gift, that way you could check up but play it off when he answers the door.

talaniman · Oct 5, 2007, 05:14 AM

wow he gets mad? That's seriously a red flag...

Getting mad is something to think about after 2 years. Back off, and reevaluate the dynamics of this relationship. I wouldn't advise any more sleep overs, until your questions and doubts are addressed.

ashley22 · Oct 5, 2007, 09:16 AM

I don't know how to go about finding out, you see he just sold his place and moved back in with his parents while he's looking for a new place, I still sleep over but not as much as I use to... but he use's it as an excuse like oh I'm going to bed don't call my house my parents are sleeping, just stuff like that, and I can't just show up in the middle of the night either... any sugestions? I'v talked to him about it already and he just gets offencive and says I love you I'm with you what's the problem?

Leidenschaftlich für Wahr · Oct 5, 2007, 11:27 AM

I would casually bring up in conversation with his parents things like 'man he sure was tired going to sleep so early last night' and test their response...
Or pull a b---- trip and drive by at 2 am. Is his car there? Is there an extra car there?
I mean honestly I don't have enough information to evaluate what's really going on here. I don't know about you or him, or your backgrounds. You could simply be overreacting to a tired guy and his lifestyle,
Either way, his behavior isn't normal... has he always acted this way?

pamtang · Oct 5, 2007, 11:45 AM

Originally Posted by ashley22

hi this is my first time useing this site but i have a problem i'm having trouble dealing with.... i've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and i think he's cheating on me... i just have this strong gut feeling plus (we dont live together) but i talk to him 4 or more times thur the day but at night i can never get a hold of him he'll just text me early at like 9 or 10 saying he's tired and is going to bed, but still wont answer if i call.... he just says i caught him at bad times and is very secretive...... i just dont want to belive it cause i love him more then anything and dont want to be without him, what should i do????

You should definitely look into your suspicions. They may be your subconscious telling you that something is awry. Look for hints: he acquires some new-found jealousy when you say that you re going out with your girlfriends.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 5, 2007, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Getting mad is something to think about after 2 years. Back off, and reevaluate the dynamics of this relationship. I wouldn't advise any more sleep overs, until your questions and doubts are addressed.

I agree 100% with Talaniman's answer

mwilliams15 · Oct 5, 2007, 02:18 PM

If you do find out he is cheating on you, its better you find out sooner than later. I know it will be really hard on you, but at least you won't marry the guy and have a family then realize he's been cheating on you all along.

talaniman · Oct 5, 2007, 09:31 PM

I think the real problem is you are so much beyond this guy in maturity that, You're the nice person putting up with his crap! Just my opinion, but you handle you business, and he doesn't not, so he has to move and you don't! Just a question. Do you need attention so bad, that you can't see a loser, when he is right in your face?? Please realise that you can be with a better person, and can be happy without this DUDE. If you started to love yourself more, your life will be BETTER!!