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    tat20's Avatar
    tat20 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 4, 2007, 10:50 AM
    Getting pregnant.
    I was wondering if 20 is to young to be having kids? I love kids and I work with kids all day... I'm only 20 and my boyfriend is 21 and I really want to have kids him and we have been together for a while and he says NO WAY! Should I be wanting to have kids? Am I to young?
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #2

    Oct 4, 2007, 11:28 AM
    Its not about age, its about being ready. I had my kids young was married young, and now I am a divorced mother of two, raising my children on my own for the most part. It is not easy and kids can affect your relationship with your mate, I think it is best to say you should wait, until you are finacially and mentally stable before you decide to have a child. Children require a lot of time and attention, they need a lot of support, and I think you should try to continue your education, see where your relationship goes with your boyfriend, enjoy your youth and wait to have children! Just my opinion, if only I was 20 again!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Oct 4, 2007, 11:58 AM
    Hun, if your boyfriend is not ready to have children, then the answer is yes, it is too early for you to have children with this man.

    Having a child is a permanent life changing event. This is a decision that both people should make together and agree upon.

    Just because us women love babies and/or children does not mean we are ready for them. They are very hard work and you can't walk away at the end of the day.

    To be ready to have children one must understand that there may be problems with the pregnancy, delivery, and possibly baby that could last a lifetime.

    Although the majority of children are born healthy, many are not. Many babies born before 32 weeks gestation can suffer permanent/irreversible brain, lung, kidney, heart damage. Not to mention any congenital abnormalities that may arise (and there are a LOT). This is something that needs to be taken into consideration also when deciding to have children.

    Are you financially able to care for a healthy baby, let alone one that may require multiple surgeries, chronic illnesses, or a life of doctor's visits, etc?

    There is much more in deciding whether to have a baby than just your age.
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