[tinaterner]

So there was this great guy I was dating throughout the summer. We broke things off in September because we were both heading to different universities for our first year. Niether of us really wanted to brake up but it seemed like "the right thing to do". So anyway about three weeks into university we couldn't stand being away from on another so I went to his school for the weekend, needless to say we slept together(which I thought was his first time)... even though we techninicaaly weren't dating. We spent the rest of the weekend acting like boyfriend and girlfriend even though we weerent dating. The following week I discover to my surprise he had SLEPT WITH A High school FRIEND only four days before my visit! Recalling the weekend before he had told me she had spent the night but also told me "all she did was lay on my bed clearly nothing happneed between us" so he out and out lied to me. What do I do? Hate him for it? Its not so much the sex I cared about since we weren't dating, but the lying hurt. Should I forgive him?

[talaniman]

Forgeting him would be better. Move on with your life, and leave this chapter in the past, where it belongs.

[MOX4U]

This guy is not worth it and if he cared and missed you so much he wouldn't have been fooling around with a high school friend. He obviously isn't ready for a relationship.Girl, move on, there are guys out their who could make you so much happier. You honestly don't want to be together with someone who can't commit to one person although you guys were not in a relationship at that stage, he should have told you that he was with someone else before he slept with you. You say he said that he just laid next to the girl, you will probably never know how true that is but I hope that you were safe when you slept with that guy. Have a good day, don't worry about him too much,I'm sure you'll find someone who you can trust and communicate well with.

[farfrmnormal]

Its not cheating if its an open relationship - but he lied. You should always forgive but never forget - and forgiving doesn't mean you have to be all right with him.

[shygrneyzs]

Give me a break here - you both broke off the relationship, saying it was the right thing to do, since you were going to college. So both you and him were free to date, have sex, whatever you wanted to do - without the other's permission. He should have been honest, yes. Should have he not slept with this girl? Who knows? He was a free man. I would be upset that he lied, like he had something to hide. This was something you two needed to talk about before jumping into bed with him again.

You learn from mistakes. Hopefully you know now that breaking up with him in the first place was the best idea. Stay focused on yourself and let this have his own life. You do not need to be lied to.

[smoothy]

How can he cheat in an "open" relationship? By definition you are free to do what you want with who you want.

Get real, only a callous guy would say "oh I slept with her and we did X together like you won't do." to another woman.

Of course he was going to be nice and play it down. I'm also quite sure he didn't talk about sleeping with you to her either.


Are you just upset he did it before you did? You weren't in an exclusive relationship after all. You said that. You can't have it both ways.