[Brandee Dee]

Hi my name is Brandee, and I reside in California. I was wondering if my kids ages 16 and 12 years of age. Have the right to say they do not want to visit there bio Father? Who after 12 years decides to get visitation because, I asked for child support. My current husband has raised my two kids, since my youngest was 6mo. Old and they really consider him as there "Dad" My X has threatened them and myself with calling the police to have them escorted out of there home and into his car, if they do not do as the court has decided. He was given every other week end and two weeks in the summer. Which he has never bothered to visit in the past nine years. But now that he is order to pay child support, he tells the kids "what am I paying for" the reason I just now got support was because he was a user of drugs until about 4 years ago? And claimed he had no money, then after I saw his 3rd ATV I figured he had some support money... :mad: My kids just really have no desier to vistit him. The Bio Father has even said have your "Dad" adopt you if you do not want to see me. So HELP please someone!
Thank you,
Brandee:)

[cjonline]

My ex tried this, both my sons told my ex they weren't going with him and walked back in the house. My ex left but came back an hour or so later with a officer, who asked both kids separately and he even tried to talk them into going with their dad. In the end the officer told my ex that it was not his job to do this kind of thing, enforce the order yes, even make the mother hand over the kids, but not to force them to go somewhere they don't want to. He told my ex to take the matter back to family court; we did but that's another story.

I would call him on it. Talk to your kids first, it might be scarry for them, but if they agree then do it. Tell them that they have to tell their bio-dad that they don't want to go then have them go inside. If he calls the police talk to the officer and have your kids talk to the officer. However, most likely you will have to go to court over it. Be it you take him for having the police order your kids in the car or your ex takes you because your kids don't want to see him.

Before you try it... You may want to talk to an attorney to help you with the legal things. There might be something in your order that you forgot to say that changes everything. Remember officers in my area might be different than in your area. You could always go to the station and talk to an officer about it and ask what they would do should this happen take you court orders just in case. Get all the information first.

Is there a way that your hubby would adopt the kids? That may be better all around, if its something you can do.

Good luck.

[ScottGem]

You have some choices here. Either have your husband adopt them, stop the child support or accept the court ordered visitation.

If your kids refuse to go with him, he can go to court and get the order enforced. The judge will listen to your kids, but unless they have a compelling reason not to go they will be ordered to go or face contempt of court charges.

[lsreally]

Your children are at the age where they know right from wrong. They know what makes them comfortable and vis versa. I think if your children don't feel safe enough to be around their bio-logical father you should ask the courts to speak with them and let them explain their concerns. No child should be put in a situation where they feel unsafe in any form.

[ScottGem]

Your children are at the age where they know right from wrong. They know what makes them comfortable and vis versa. I think if your children don't feel safe enough to be around their bio-logical father you should ask the courts to speak with them and let them explain their concerns. No child should be put in a situation where they feel unsafe in any form.

While I agree with you, there isn't enough evidence that they would be put in an unsafe situation. If that was the case they could setup a modified visitation shceduled that started with supervised visits. This would give the kids a chance to jnow the father in a safe environment. After time it could be determined if the supervision was still necessary.

[Brandee Dee]

Hi my name is Brandee, and I reside in California. I was wondering if my kids ages 16 and 12 years of age. Have the right to say they do not want to visit there bio Father? who after 12 years decides to get visitation because, I asked for child support. My current husband has raised my two kids, since my youngest was 6mo. old and they really consider him as there "Dad" My X has threatened them and myself with calling the police to have them escorted out of there home and into his car, if they do not do as the court has decided. He was given every other week end and two weeks in the summer. Which he has never bothered to visit in the past nine years. but now that he is order to pay child support, he tells the kids "what am I paying for" the reason I just now got support was because he was a user of drugs until about 4 years ago? And claimed he had no money, then after I saw his 3rd ATV i figured he had some support money..... :mad: My kids just really have no desier to vistit him. The Bio Father has even said have your "Dad" adopt you if you do not want to see me. So HELP please someone!
Thank you,
Brandee:)

Im not sure how this web site works... Im tiring to figure it out, but I want to THANK YOU ALL for your in put, you have been very helpful. So thanks again. Have a wonderful day.
Brandee

[s_cianci]

Actually, having your husband adopt your kids may be your best bet. Then visitation with the bio father wouldn't be an issue. If your kids just choose to ignore a court-ordered visitation you and/or your kids could be held in contempt.