[Art31075]

Hey I'm not sure if this is a unique situation or not but I could use some legal advise:
I live in RI, I had a one night stand with a women I met from a online dating site, we talked for a few mo be 4 we actually met. She told me she had her tubes tied. But about 3 weeks later she called telling me she moved back to FL and is pregnant... I asked HOW?? She said she was sorry but she lied and was on the "pill" for just 3 weeks be 4 we met... She then went on and asked if I would be mad if she got an abortion... I agreed that would be in both our best interest... the day after her apointment she called saying she couldn't go through with the abortion. And is going to keep the child. She says she feels really badly about all this, and doesn't want anything from me, and will not seek child support... But she wants a paternity test and my name on the birth cert. From what I understand if she ever applies for welfair, then the state will automatically come after me for child support... Is this true? What are my options?? Is this entrapment? What state ( RI or FL ) laws apply? Is there anything I can do now or is this really a waiting game and see what she does once the child is born? Any advice? Thank you

[macksmom]

Unfortunately there is really nothing that you can you. You had sex, regardless of what she said. Even if she did have her tubes tied, there is a chance of pregnancy... although it's small, it's still there.

Yes, if she does apply for welfare, they will inquire as to who the father is, and they will search you out to support the child instead of the state.

Again, there is really nothing you can do if the child is yours. She can seek child support at any time.

[s_cianci]

From what I understand if she ever applies for welfair, then the state will automatically come after me for child support... Is this true?

Yes.

Is this entrapment?

No. Legally there's no such thing as "entrapment." Maybe she misled you, deliberately or otherwise, but that doesn't absolve you of the responsibility of supporting the child if you're the father.

What state ( RI or FL ) laws apply?

I'm not sure, but probably FL since that's where she's currently living.

Is there anything I can do now or is this really a waiting game and see what she does once the child is born?

You need to wait and see what action, if any, she takes. If she does attempt to collect child support from you, then I would recommend that you contest paternity and get a DNA test to make sure that you're really the father.

[MOWERMAN2468]

Hmmm, birth control pills is not the only protection that should be used. And I would say that you had your fun, now you will probably be responsible until the child is of the age of 18. Try using a condom in the future. You met this girl online, had sex with her, and did not know if she may have had some type of disease or not. Perhaps you should go for a checkup to start with. And if she wants you on the birth certificate, you best get that dna test done. If you had to pay child support it would be best to start at the beginning than to have to start paying back pay child support. And the child will no doubt be troubled by your absence, wondering why their dad isn't there. Be more careful in the future.

[Sad Soul]

Poor you.
I can't believe a woman you trusted and had sex with, had lied to you.
I just can't get over how you went to bed, with the woman you trusted, and this happens? Who would have thought that she would have lied? You knew her so well too! This isn't like her - is it??
Well, you can thank God this woman you "knew", didn't lie about havig AIDS or something.

Anyway, if you don't want anything to do with the child, give full custody to her. I'm sure you can make it so you're legally not a parent. Then you can hold on to your dollar and kiss that innocent baby, who did nothing wrong in all of this, goodbye.

Just know that if one day he/she tracks you down, you have to look him/her in the eyes and explain how you were here posting about not wanting to pay up.

This is a sad situation. Not really for you or her, but for the baby.

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me see you had unprotected sex with a girl you don't know that you meet over the internet, her having a baby is about the least thing that could have happened to you, you could have AIDS, or some other STD and worry about being on medication for the rest of your life.

Hope this is a wake up call, and expect her to come after child support, she has changed her story several times already.

[Love_the_children]

Based on the average child support obligation in RI, you're looking at $395 per month. This amount can go up or down depending on several factors. Over time this number will go up so it's hard to narrow down the total amount it will end up costing you over the next 18 years (longer if he/she continues their education). If you simply apply a cost of living increase each year, that number of course gets larger. You are potentially looking at over $125,000 when this is all over. Quite a lot for one night considering the average cost of a single condom is $1.

That was the selfish what-about-me answer. If you're going to do the right thing for the child, my advice is much different. You can try and run from your responsibilities, but I suggest you don't. It's your child and he/she is going to need you many times through their life. Maybe you were fortunate to have both your parents throughout your whole life so why wouldn't you want that for your own child? Make the best of this situation. You don't have to create or maintain a relationship with your child's mother, but don't ignore your own flesh & blood. Forget about all the ways in which to wiggle out of this; they don't exsist.

Be a man.