[Aceladysplace]

I just learned from my daughter in law that she is pregnant. My son just began a new job as a result of his graduating from college with a PhD. My daughter in law has a daughter from a previous relationship, whom I love dearly and miss dearly. My son and his family live 24 hours away. I am so excited for them and, honestly, both my sons have been my inspiration in my life. How do I interact and be involved with this baby when it arrives as well as my daughter in law during carrying the baby. I was always one of those super moms, but, with them so far away, although they are near my daughter in laws parents, I don't know how to communicate and support them. I wish I were closer to share in the excitement. And, what do I do when the baby arrives? I feel helpless being so far away. I always dreamed of having my grand babies close enough to see them frequently, but, how will be able to be there and have them in my home as well. What do I do to be involved in their lives?

[laura2007x]

Hi being far away from the ones you love can be very hard and there's nothing better than holding a bundle of joy in your arms.
As long as they know you are there when they need you everything will be fine.There is nothing more stronger than the love for your grandchildren and when the baby arrives you could ask your son to take pictures and mail them to you and you could return the favour, you will then be able to see how they are coming on and watch them grow. In the meantime you could ask them to get you extra copies of scan pictures. I hope everything goes well for you. X

[Emland]

Do you have a web cam? Do they? There's a holiday gift idea. My son chats with my brother across the country. My sister and brother also log in when my mother comes over for her weekly visit so they can talk and see her. It would be a way to see the baby and be a part of their lives. It will never be as good as being there - but it is better than the phone because you can see the baby.

Guess you are going to be racking up the air miles now.

[momspags]

Fear not. Sometimes the long distance relationships are the strongest, but you need to work at it. Plan a visit a few weeks after the baby is born.Ask if that is okay before you book your flight. Offer to stay at a local hotel, bed and breakfast, etc When you arrive, rather than offer unsolicited advice, help to keep the house going.. clean, run errands, cook comfort food, do laundry. These simple tasks can seem overwhelming to new parents. Offer a few hours of babysitting between feedings for the parents to take a break away from the house if they want it or to do something special with your daughter in law's little girl. Give everyone the space that they need. Respect their parenting skills, no matter how bumbling they seem to you. We all learn from doing. Of course, give advice when asked! I always preface my advice with the caveat that no one knows your child better than you, but here is something that might work.

Share your son's baby pictures and stats with your daughter in law. My kids have found it fun to compare how big they were and what they or their spouses were doing at the same milestones as their own children.

Buy a web camera for yourself and your son and daughter in law. Hook it up. Learn how to use it. Video conversation is a wonderful way to stay in touch and watch your grandchildren grow. Try to schedule some mutually acceptable time for them on a regular basis.

Stay in touch by mail, by e-mail, by telephone. Send cookies. Love them all. Don't be upset if your grandchildren need to reacquaint themselves with you each visit. You will get the hugs soon enough, but you need to be patient.

[JamieLynn]

My Gram lives in Tennessee and I live in Michigan. When I was growing up my parents would take me and my brother to my Grams for our summer vaction. They would let us stay with our Gram for the summer while school was out and then My Gram or uncle would take us home. We were always so excited every summer to see our Gram. We would also take to her on the phone once a week and send each other gifts.
I don't know if this is something that your family could do but it worked for us and it was our favorite time of the year. Better than christmas.