[bummedout4]

I don't understand why you are so extremely persistant with her. If she wants to take a break from you, it is definitly a good sign that shes questioning weither or not shes even attracted to you anymore, or wants to date you at all. "Taking breaks" are the most moronic, selfish thing I have ever heard of. Shes taking a "break" from you because she wants to see if she can find something better than you, but also keep you there just in case she can't, and needs someone to run back to. If she loved you as much as she should, she would never even mention something like taking a break, because she couldnt imagine being away from you. My advice, dont take that bull. Don't be dragged along by her like a desperate fool; what shes doing is pathetic. There are MANY other fish in the sea, shes trying to move on, so why don't you?

Yeah well I am pretty sure that she won't find someone better than me and if she does and that's what she wants then I can't do anything about it. I know its selfish on her part but it looks like this happens to a lot of people and sometimes they work out for the best in their future and sometimes not. I am just going day by day and seeing what happens from here. I am trying to not think about what she's doing or where she is since we aren't together right now. I don't want to be dragged along and I am trying to not give in to calling her or texting her. I don't know if she is trying to move on and forget about me but we will have to see what the future holds. I am just trying to become a better person that anyone would be happpy to be around.

[star3114]

Sounds like a great plan.

[bummedout4]

Sounds like a great plan.

Thanks, it sounds good, now I just have to go out and do it.

[Love-Life]

Yeah well i am pretty sure that she wont find someone better than me and if she does and thats what she wants then i can't do anything about it. i know its selfish on her part but it looks like this happens to a lot of people and sometimes they work out for the best in their future and sometimes not. i am just going day by day and seeing what happens from here. i am trying to not think about what shes doing or where she is since we arent together right now. i dont want to be dragged along and i am trying to not give in to calling her or texting her. i dont know if she is trying to move on and forget about me but we will have to see what the future holds. i am just trying to become a better person that anyone would be happpy to be around.

If you've been together for 4 years, then getting over her isn't going to be an easy thing at all. But I believe that she's out having fun, hooking up with other guys, trying to experiment with other people. It would be good for you as well if you tried to do the same. Go out and see what's out there for you. After that, if you and her are meant to be, then fate will definitely bring you together again.

[bummedout4]

If you've been together for 4 years, then getting over her isn't going to be an easy thing at all. But I beleive that shes out having fun, hooking up with other guys, trying to experiment with other people. It would be good for you as well if you tried to do the same. Go out and see whats out there for you. After that, if you and her are meant to be, then fate will definitly bring you together again.

Yeah I think so, all I am doing now is waiting to see when that moment of truth comes. When we both really know that this is either going to work again or isn't. I will try to go out probably tomorrow night and hang out with friends and whatever. I am just really trying to not think about what she's up to or with who. That's what is on my mind more than anything. Anyway thanks for the replies I appreciate the words of wisdom.

[star3114]

Hey bummed... go get in the shower... go get some nice duds on... put some colonge on and get spiffy. IT IS FRIDAY NIGHT AND YOU ARE GOING OUT!! Call the guys and have them meet you.

How is that for taking control of the situation being you won't??

[Jornny]

Dude, we have all the support we need here, I've found the perfect place to go when down. I'm looking forward in a way to all this because as I said, it's all for the best, and even if it doesn't work out, at least you AND I both know we tried, and maybe we're just too good for our respective exes. Don't drink alone though. The mind wanders.. Then the unnecessary messages that you'll regret, and then the fighting that follows, and then you're worse off than before you had a drink! I planned on getting hammered with a bottle of whiskey, but decided to just drink Coke! Hopefully a well earned, well NEEDED night out tomorrow will work me wonders. If she has the nerve to say she wants space to do it, why can't you. Make her worry SICK about you and pretend you didn't hear your phone at all cause of the loud music, talking to people, but DON'T mention other girls, cause you'll push her to top you and its easier for a girl to get a guy than a guy to get a girl I feel. Or maybe that's just me!! =(

[Sad Soul]

Yeah well i am pretty sure that she wont find someone better than me and if she does and thats what she wants then i can't do anything about it. i know its selfish on her part but it looks like this happens to a lot of people and sometimes they work out for the best in their future and sometimes not. i am just going day by day and seeing what happens from here. i am trying to not think about what shes doing or where she is since we arent together right now. i dont want to be dragged along and i am trying to not give in to calling her or texting her. i dont know if she is trying to move on and forget about me but we will have to see what the future holds. i am just trying to become a better person that anyone would be happpy to be around.

EXCELLENT PLAN! Stay positive :) There are so many more things to do "right now" than to just focus on her.

[star3114]

Hey bummed... GO OUT!! It will be fun!

[bummedout4]

Yeah thanks everyone. I am actually waiting to see what's going on so we will see where I am going tonight. Tomorrow I know I am probably going to the hard rock hotel and casino down here and hit up some bars and clubs. Oh and jornny, if they don't see how good of guys we are and what we did for them then you know what, I guess we will have to find someone that does. Harder said than done , but in due time it will happen.

[Jornny]

Excellently said Bummedout, I haven't been out in AGES for nights out. Twas over 3 yrs ago before I met my ex when I was between girlfriends, that I used to go to the city centre ALONE to live gigs and just meet random people and have a great time. Ramones tribute bands are the best shows to go to cause EVERYONE is cool. Ramones for life, and you've made a friend for life!!

[star3114]

Exactly! So go with the plan and go out... I am told that you will feel better after a little... love?

[Jornny]

Yeah, but don't go chasing anything with a pulse looking for a one nighter... that might put you into a VERY different forum.. Dealing with unwanted pregnancies, stds, threesomes!

[star3114]

Like I said, that is what I was told... but being I am not a guy... I wouldn't know. Most women think very differently on the topic. :O)

[Jornny]

So star, did you read MY story? What's your opinion, from another girls perspective? I got some good tips from one earlier which helped. In fact, just check out my entries for my subject for a full run through.

[bummedout4]

Yeah, but don't go chasing anything with a pulse looking for a one nighter... that might put you into a VERY different forum...! Dealing with unwanted pregnancies, stds, threesomes!

Nah, I am not like that anyway and either way I am still not over my ex so it be hard to really be with anyone else right now, unless she was super hot. Well thanks for all the support and talk.

[bummedout4]

All right guys, last night I was doing pretty well, I didn't reallly get too emotional and tried not to think about what was going on. It seems like every morning I start having dreams and thinking about everything going on and how much I miss this girl. So... I keep telling myself to leave her alone and not to call or talk to her unless she initiates contact which I think I can do. But, the next time she calls, I keep having this urge to ask her one last time what she really wants from me, if she is going to date this other guy or if she is just seeing what happens. I mean, I know she doesn't have to tell me anything but I just want her to be honest with me. The fact she would rather spend time with others than me who she claims to care about is really bothering me. So should I talk to her one last time to really see what she is thinking and where all this is going? I know I may not like the answer but sometimes I still don't know what the hell she wants to do, and if she is wanting me to stay around in case she changes her mind. Well, I was just thinking all of this , this morning and I know its probably been repeated. But I just need to write it out and get it out. Thanks

[MWP]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over 4 years now. We met when we were 18 we're now 22 yrs old. We have seen each other a lot over the course of our relationship at least 4-5 days a week and did everything together. Everything was fine but lately she has been saying that she feels different and said she wanted to take a break to figure things out and to be happy. She was starting to feel unhappy b/c we didnt really go out a lot on the wkends, not because we didnt want to, but just tired sometimes and ended up staying home. I have a feeling that she may be a little bored with our relationship and i understand and want to change. We have had these conversations before but things would change and then go back to normal. She says she still loves me but is not "in love" as much as she was in the beginning. it has been almost a week since she said she wanted a break. I have been pretty shocked and devasted, telling her how much i love her and how much she means to me. She has been goin out wth her friends a lot, a lot more then when we were together. I have read that i shouldn't contact her but it is really hard b/c we have had troubles before and talked them out and remained together. I don't want to lose her and do not want to push her away during this time. I just want to be with her, and love her. She knows how i feel about her and i dont know what she is thinking in her head. She says that she isnt ready to see me yet but she will let me know. We talk on the phone every once in a while , but it is hard for me not to call her or text her. I don't have a lot of close friends to go out with, they are either up in school still or have gf's of their own. At work i dont work with any people my age to hang out. She was my everything and i dont want to lose her, should i keep fighting or just hold off for a while? thanks for any help and advice.

Maybe she feels consumed... give her space... get to know her outside the relationship you guys used to have and realise her needs. Sounds Easy but I know it isn't... give her space... dating since high school isn't easy, congrats but let her spread her wings a little and be in the background showing you are there and you care... Time will tell..

[bummedout4]

maybe she feels consumed... give her space...... get to know her outside the relationship you guys used to have and realise her needs. Sounds Easy but I know it isn't..... give her space......dating since high school isn't easy, congrats but let her spread her wings a little and be in the background showing you are there and you care..... Time will tell..

Thanks, I know she probably feels like she needs to find herself and see what she wants in life, its just hard to let go, for now at least. I still plan to talk to her when she calls and be supportive in her school work and everything but will those only land me in the friend zone or will she see that I really care about her as a person and want the best for her?

[MWP]

If she still calls... be responsive. You still have a chance man. My best friend is an ex that I dated for three years. My current gal doesn't understand but hell I never thought she could. Lol