[Shier82]

Hello whoever reads this,

My girlfriend and I have been going together for a little over a year. We live together, have a dog, a cat and a great place to call home. The last 6 months however, have been pretty rough... at least on my end. You see we have not had sex, nothing even close to it for the last half year, a dry and dull summer. I'm lucky to get a kiss goodnight and lucky if I get a peck before I drop her off at work in the morning. Ive brought this concern up to her but the slightest mention of sex only enrages her. She thinks that's all I want. I told her its been bothering me so much I look online to see how other people feel that are going through this and see if they can talk to their partner about it. Well she just does not want to talk about it one bit, I'm the one with the problem for even looking that up and talking to her about it. I really don't know what to do anymore. I buy her flowers, make dinner, do laundry, do things that she enjoys which I'm glad to say are things I enjoy too. I only mention that so show that I'm not a jerk who doesn't deserve a girl. Believe me when I say, I charish every second with her. She is my everything and I would do anything for her. That's why I'm on here trying to ask for help... back to what I was saying, I try to be subtle with everything whe I try to hint at something sexually but am always shut down. Another thing that I'm concerned about is, She always says she never feels good, so she says. I pick her up, she sighs, again, today something is wrong. We come home, she lays on the couch and eventually falls asleep and sometimes manages to make it to the bed instead of camping on the couch. But when she gets her paychecks and we have a little extra money she always tends to feel 110% for about 3 days. After she spends her money in about 72 hours . It seems that the fun is done and its time to be sad, sick and angry again till the next paycheck comes. I don't mean to sound like a whiny, angry, picky guy but I need some insight. Please I love this woman but as shallow as it may seem I am young and I want a good sex life in my relationship along with all the other great blessings that come with a relationship. Please help someone. Thanks.


p.s. as I type this, its almost midnight and my girlfriend decided to sleep on the couch
Tonight... again !

[kirriky]

I don't think you sound like a "whiny, angry, picky guy". But your gf's behaviour sure sounds pretty much dysfunctional.

Before going into 'she's a heartless , she doesn't deserve you and she's probably cheating on you' stuff... in which case you should just leave her, because after 6 months it wouldn't seem like nothing can change..

What if she's sick? And I mean phsychological/psychatric kind of sick. Maybe she's depressed, or is bipolar? I mean, if it were just the lack of sex, you could say she was cheating on you or didn't love you anymore. But if you add to it the 'feeling bad', sleeping on the couch throughout the afternoons.. maybe you need to get her some sort of medical help, have her examined by a psychologist.

On the other hand, maybe it was the 'falling out of love' but not seeing a way out of the relationship (can she support herself financially?) that triggered the depression.

In any case, I think this has gone too far, she's either sick and needs help or she doesn't love you at all and you need to leave her.

Sorry this doesn't sound very encouraging