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Klaipeda · Aug 14, 2007, 12:29 PM

Hi, please advice me as I completely got lost
... I am friends with a guy I really like. He says he feels same way towards me and we have really good time together just by talking about everything and time passes very quickly. We are friends one month only. The one thing is that I don't understand: he never takes me out or buys me flowers. Every time he comes over to my place, I make dinner for him and then we sit talking, have some cuddling. Time passes quickly and then he leaves.We do not go to caffees or pubs as he does not ask me. And I just wander whether he is serious towards me.He said he now is in difficult situation regarding finances and I think £3 for the buch of flowers is not much...
What do you think? Thank you for your answers!

Klai

Depressed in MO · Aug 14, 2007, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by Klaipeda

Hi, please advice me as I completely got lost
...I am friends with a guy I really like. He says he feels same way towards me and we have really good time together just by talking about everything and time passes very quickly. we are friends one month only. The one thing is that I don't understand: he never takes me out or buys me flowers. Everytime he comes over to my place, I make dinner for him and then we sit talking, have some cuddling. Time passes quickly and then he leaves.We do not go to caffees or pubs as he does not ask me. And I just wander whether he is serious towards me.He said he now is in difficult situation regarding finances and I think £3 for the buch of flowers is not much...
What do you think? Thank you for your answers!

Klai

I think I would find out if he is married or not. Job?

Klaipeda · Aug 14, 2007, 01:18 PM

Depressed,

He says he earns very little and is separated..

Klai

Depressed in MO · Aug 14, 2007, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by Klaipeda

Depressed,

He says he earns very little and is separated..

Klai

Ok-have you been to HIS place yet? I know he comes over to you, but do you go over to him?

Klaipeda · Aug 14, 2007, 01:47 PM

Hi Depressed,
Thank you for your ansvers, I verry appreciate!
Yes I was at his place and he is very keen for me to visit him again, but I don't want too often to be at his place. He made dinner and introduced me to his brother and his flatmate. We had a nice evening and I stayed overnight.. In the morning he missed his work because of me and spent the whole day with me waiting for me to finnish my job. He is very kind and smart and gentle to me and that's the reason I would like to understand if he is so nice why he can't buy me simple flower or take me out for a dinner?.

s_cianci · Aug 14, 2007, 03:33 PM

It might just not be in his nature to do those things. Or maybe his finances are really tight. Either way, it's nothing personal so don't let it bother you.

Klaipeda · Aug 16, 2007, 02:14 PM

Thanks guys, I feel releaved!

MOWERMAN2468 · Aug 18, 2007, 07:11 AM

Hmmm, keeping you "behind closed doors" so to speak , sounds like a cheater to me. You'd better get to the bottom of this quick or you may be in for a bad heartbreak. Check him out.

Klaipeda · Aug 20, 2007, 03:00 PM

Originally Posted by MOWERMAN2468

hmmm, keeping you "behind closed doors" so to speak , sounds like a cheater to me. you'd better get to the bottom of this quick or you may be in for a bad heartbreak. check him out.

Hi, what do you mean?
Klai

Klaipeda · Sep 22, 2007, 03:28 AM

Hi there ,

I would appreciate your advice as I don't know how to understand this situation. We are friends with this guy for two moths only and now is his birthday, I was expecting for him to invite me to his house and was about to buy a present, but I was surprised when I called to congratulate him and he said that he will be going out to the pub for a drink with his mates to celebrate his birthday and did not invited me.
Thank you. Klai

JoeCanada76 · Sep 22, 2007, 04:20 AM

May I ask why were you expecting this?

Klaipeda · Sep 22, 2007, 05:14 AM

Simply because of the friendship between us.

LUK3Y · Sep 22, 2007, 05:24 AM

Depends on the type of friendship between you guys. You need too give more detail here. How often do use see each other, what is the friendship like etc.

Klaipeda · Sep 22, 2007, 05:35 AM

We see each other at least once per week. He doesn't want marriage nor kids in the future that is fine with me but he is serious about our relationship though very laid back: he never asks me out, buys presents or flowers, as his idea is that women only wants money and having said that he behaves like a cheepskate towards me sometimes..

LUK3Y · Sep 22, 2007, 05:38 AM

What's the age of both you guys? It sounds like you want more then a friednship with him... is this true? Sorry if I have jumped the gun here.

JoeCanada76 · Sep 22, 2007, 08:48 AM

I am sorry to point this out but it does not sound like you have a relationship with this person. You only have known this person for a little while.

Klaipeda · Sep 22, 2007, 05:38 PM

Luk3Y,

Yes it seems that I am more serious about our relationship, than he is.He is 32 an I am 38, is that big age difference for him to be seriously involved in the relationship with me? He says he is fine about that, but now I just don't know..

Klaipeda · Sep 22, 2007, 05:40 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I am sorry to point this out but it does not sound like you have a relationship with this person. You only have known this person for a little while.

So what is it then? He comes to my flat I go to his, we sleep together sometimes, and nothing more.

JoeCanada76 · Sep 22, 2007, 05:46 PM

Well to me, and from what you have written. Pretty much. I know this may sound disappointing but if you are already sleeping with somebody you hardly know then you are expecting way too much.

2 months
Sometimes sleep together
There seems to be not much there, oh and about the age. Not much of an age different if your both in your 30's but to be honest it sounds like you have fallen for somebody that does not feel the same.

I could be wrong but you have not said anything different to change my thoughts on it. Does that mean I am absolutely right, no. Just my opinion and thoughts on how you described it too me.

Again I will repeat, does not sound like you have any kind of relationship with this person.

Nothing more.

Klaipeda · Sep 22, 2007, 06:11 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Well to me, and from what you have written. Pretty much. I know this may sound disappointing but if you are already sleeping with somebody you hardly know then you are expecting way too much.

2 months
sometimes sleep together
there seems to be not much there, oh and about the age. Not much of an age different if your both in your 30's but to be honest it sounds like you have fallen for somebody that does not feel the same.

I could be wrong but you have not said anything different to change my thoughts on it. Does that mean I am absolutely right, no. Just my opinion and thoughts on how you described it too me.

Again I will repeat, does not sound like you have any kind of relationship with this person.

Nothing more.

Thank you for your explanation,

Just keen to know if I could go back, and like start from the beginning, keeping myself out of the intimacy with him,not sleeping at each others places till I see any difference in his attitude, behaviour or emotions towards me?