[pinkrazr]

A few weeks ago, my ex, who as of late has been exhibiting many signs of depression, broke up with me because he "doesn't feel anything anymore". However, while he holds to the fact that I didn't do anything wrong, he remains extremely angry at me for no apparent reason, acting extremely mean-spirited and cold towards me (and only me... he's pleasant to everyone else!) He seems to attribute all his stress to me, failing to acknowledge his current problems with his work and family situations.

I've read up on depression but haven't come across any stories where the anger and blame was to this extent. I was just wondering if it is common (or possible?) for someone dealing with depression to be extremely angry and blame another person for all the stress/problems/bad situations in their life. Does the anger ever fade, and do they ever understand that it wasn't that person's fault? Anything that I can do?

Any thoughts, experiences, or advice?

Thanks!

[KBC]

A few weeks ago, my ex, who as of late has been exhibiting many signs of depression, broke up with me because he "doesn't feel anything anymore". However, while he holds to the fact that I didn't do anything wrong, he remains extremely angry at me for no apparent reason, acting extremely mean-spirited and cold towards me (and only me...he's pleasant to everyone else!) He seems to attribute all his stress to me, failing to acknowledge his current problems with his work and family situations.

I've read up on depression but haven't come across any stories where the anger and blame was to this extent. I was just wondering if it is common (or possible?) for someone dealing with depression to be extremely angry and blame another person for all the stress/problems/bad situations in their life. Does the anger ever fade, and do they ever understand that it wasn't that person's fault? Anything that I can do?

Any thoughts, experiences, or advice?

Thanks!

I am a manic depressed male that did exactly what he did to you,to another g/f 4 years ago.
Sometimes a depressed person will focus all anger outwardly,and to focus on only one source doesn't seem out of the norm(at least this is my experience).My ex-mother-in-law also manic/depressed would have one focal hate at a time,sometimes it was for a short time(days)sometimes weeks.
My relationship experiences while depressed would not allow for any lateral negotiations,what I thought was final,rational or not.

I hope this helps answer your question.
Ken

[pinkrazr]

I am a manic depressed male that did exactly what he did to you,to another g/f 4 years ago.
Sometimes a depressed person will focus all anger outwardly,and to focus on only one source doesn't seem out of the norm(at least this is my experience).My ex-mother-in-law also manic/depressed would have one focal hate at a time,sometimes it was for a short time(days)sometimes weeks.
My relationship experiences while depressed would not allow for any lateral negotiations,what I thought was final,rational or not.

I hope this helps answer your question.
Ken

Hi Ken,

Thanks for your reply! It seems as if you have come to an understanding of your actions during that period... but how long and through what means did that come? My ex is not on any medication or receiving any treatment, as he refuses to acknowledge that this is a problem. I am no expert, but his actions (and background) seem to point to a problem. I feel terrible because I want to help, but it seems as if I'm rather helpless in this situations.

Having little to no background knowledge in this, I really do appreciate any insights that you may have... Thanks again!

[KBC]

Hi again,
As for how I came to realize my actions,years of therapy and medications,before this I wasn't aware I even acted out of the "norm".
A 10 year marriage ended finally when I just couldn't rationalize the behavior on MY part.
Was my ex-wife responsible for the break-up? Maybe,maybe not, or to what extent were my actions/behaviors to blame?who knows? the result is just the same,I had issues related to ,or directly because of, undiagnosed bi-polar depression.
Could therapy or a more understanding spouse changed this,NO.
The timing was not right for me to seek help till I found I needed it,and only then through my own sufferance.

Again result You are not responsible nor powerful enough to stop a persons need to find their our truth(or reality)support goes far when there is a connection,but look at your needs first,your connection is severed and your life is now first.

Hope this helps,
Ken

[Marily]

I think he needs to see a doctor.