Check out some similar questions!

gemini13 · Sep 18, 2007, 04:24 PM

Going through a break up with not only the love of my life, but my best friend. And the thing is, he feels the same way about me. He still loves me and wants to share everything with me. Told me that he is aware of what he lost and the unlikelihood of ever feeling that with anyone again. We started as friends... had a physical relationship and fell in love. We come from different backgrounds. I fell in love with him and knew he didn't want a relationship because of our differences. So when it got too much for me, I walked away.

He missed me and came to me and told me he loved me... asked if I would give him time to work through things and see if he could be with me. He thought about it for 6 weeks. Talked to his family. Then decided that we were worth it and we fit together and couldn't walk away. We discussed what was important to each of us and how we wanted to raise our children. We were both fine with the outcome of our talks.

Last month, he told me that it has come to a time where we needed to get engaged or end our relationship, and something was holding him back from proposing, so he decided to end it. He said that he chooses to end our relationship now rather than resent me later for not being the wife that he has always pictured (one of the same background as him) and ruining my life later. He said I am the person that has gotten the closest to him and gotten deep inside him. He is still in love with me and I get e-mails about how much he misses me and how much he thinks about me. It just feels so awful. We thought we were soulmates, but he is still able to walk away.

After one month, I opened myself and became vulnerable to him once more. I asked if there was any chance for us. He told me no, he was sorry but he just couldn't do it and he knew it was his fault. We are both so sad.

Ash123 · Sep 18, 2007, 04:28 PM

Sorry.

Don't contact him anymore. He was honest with you, and I am SURE he misses you. But marriage is a big step and right now it's not for him.

Take a 3-5 months to be... SELFISH. Then, build for new adventures - with or without him.

HANG IN THERE. IT DOES GET BETTER. Bones heal. Hearts take time too.

MayfairLady · Sep 18, 2007, 04:29 PM

I'm sorry girl, I'm going through a similar thing. We just got to keep going and trust everything will work out as it is meant to some way. My thoughts are with you. Take care of you.

gemini13 · Sep 18, 2007, 04:36 PM

Oh, we work together. And I have not been contacting him, he is contacting me.

Ash123 · Sep 18, 2007, 04:41 PM

Not sure what to say - other than sorry you work together,
And what does he say when he contacts you?

gemini13 · Sep 18, 2007, 04:44 PM

That he misses me and misses us and is feeling awful because he has done this.

AKaeTrue · Sep 18, 2007, 04:47 PM

I don't mean this to be mean, so please don't take it the wrong way.
If you both come from different backgrounds, and that bothers him sooo much that he has to end it with you... then what does that say?

He may love the person you are, but there is something about your differences (what ever that background may be) that keeps him from wanting 100% of you.
Whether his decisions are based on his own personal thoughts or influenced by friends and family is irrelevant because he ultimately has the
Choice to be with you no matter what anyone else says or thinks...

So, with that being said, I hope you move on with your life and meet a man who will love you for who you are, no matter where you come from.

Ash123 · Sep 18, 2007, 04:49 PM

Sounds like slow torture.

I'd advise asking him for some time-off to heal right now.
And try no contact for awhile...