[catholicgirl]

Hi, there is this psycho that I used to chat and email with and someone I spoke on the phone with occasionally. However, he has been bound and determined to "find" me since I no longer am interested in talking further.

I received an email from his personal email account that was clearly some random thing sent from abika.com asking me to "verify my email" for him. I didn't click on anything nor did I reply.

I canceled that email address and even changed my phone number.

However, on abika.com I see that IP owner and address are possible to find and I know that it's not usually that hard to find an address with a number, even a cell.

How safe should I feel? I'm sure he has old emails from me and that he's saved previous chat conversations. All the search descriptions in the "reports" ask for that info.

Someone in Canada is supposedly suing abika.com because of it's violation of privacy legislation. It claims that abika "harvests" databases. What does that mean? And since my IM/email/cell were all working up until this weekend, wouldn't my physical address still be located in databases?

Can anyone help me better understand?

[RickJ]

With a phone number, an address is usually not so difficult to get.

If he is being threatening, harassing or intimidating in any way, I would contact your local police and ask them what, if anything, can be done.

Unfortunately, many circumstances like this cannot be avoided - and nothing can be done until a crime is committed...

Yeah, bummer, I know... watch his language close (for turning over to your local police) and let him know straight out that he is not welcome, if you have not done so already.

[Fr_Chuck]

Even if no crime is being done, and it may not, get and start documetation of everything.

If you are scared about it, file a police report, they will find most liekly no crime has accorded but there will be a report of the incident, then if more keep happening, keep reporting, then you have more info if it turns worst.

And of course on email, go to a hotmail type email, even if you have one for your connection supplier, just never use it or look at it.
Set up all emails coming into bounce.

I use a spyware and email program that will bounce back ( as if the address is not valid) elimates most of my junk mail.

[catholicgirl]

What should I really document though? Other then the email I received this weekend asking for me to reply and give verification of my email address, I haven't heard from him in a few weeks. But he is the type who secretly obsesses until he can't take it anymore and gets aggressive. The email is the only "evidence" I have that he's willing to pay for information to "find" me. It was an AOL address, so I deleted the screen name. We chatted on Yahoo but I will not be signing into it again. I changed my phone number. Does AOL give out IP address info or customer information?

How do people use a phone number to get an address? If the phone number is disconnected, will the old records be maintained long enough for an address to be found?

Also, it was a cell number. Are those more private?

It seems like IP's can really only be tracked to city and state, at most zip code. Is this true? Or can he really be given my actual home address??

Thanks for your help so much. It does really scare me.

[RickJ]

Yes, cell phones are much more private. That's a good thing that that is all he had.

As for documentation, just save the emails in one place - and make a note of anything else related to him... even a link to this thread... anything; just so you can clearly document your fear - and your communications to him telling him he is not invited.

[ScottGem]

What should I really document though? Other then the email I received this weekend asking for me to reply and give verification of my email address, I haven't heard from him in a few weeks. But he is the type who secretly obsesses until he can't take it anymore and gets aggressive. The email is the only "evidence" I have that he's willing to pay for information to "find" me. It was an AOL address, so I deleted the screen name. We chatted on yahoo but I will not be signing into it again. I changed my phone number. Does AOL give out IP address info or customer information?

How do people use a phone number to get an address? If the phone number is disconnected, will the old records be maintained long enough for an address to be found?

Also, it was a cell number. Are those more private?

It seems like IP's can really only be tracked to city and state, at most zip code. Is this true? Or can he really be given my actual home address???

Thanks for your help so much. It does really scare me.

IP addresses can only be accurately tracked back to ISP that issued it. Going any further than that would require a court order served on the ISP.

If you use a dial up service, your IP changes each time you connect, so knowing what IP you used a couple of days ago (let alone weeks or months) can't do much.

Harvesting databases, means to take info (usually without permission) from both online and printed databases. For example, phone books. Try Switchboard.com as an example of a service that took phone books to create an online database. Most of this is legal, but if the data was harvested without permission, it could be an issue.

[catholicgirl]

Thank you very much, all three of you.

I can't help but feel really threatened by this. What sort of reason could he contrive to get a court order? He feels like certain aspects of my life are his business to "figure out." I was not fully or completely honest with him because who I am is none of anyone's business unless I choose to make it their business. Obviously I was right to do so because in the end he is psycho enough to pay for information to find me!

I would just like to feel safe and right now I don't. And I am just so angry and violated that he feels entitled to this information enough to pursue it.

Is it illegal to be withhold information from someone or to give answers that aren't honest in order to keep one's privacy intact? He doesn't know for certain what is true or what isn't, but the whole point is that I don't want to talk to him anymore and that should be up to me. So can he get a court order over any of this??

[RickJ]

You may be able to get some sort of court order if you could convince the court that you feel threatened.

If there is any language that you think law enforcement would deem threatening or intimidating - I would call the police and ask them for direction.

[ScottGem]

Thank you very much, all three of you.

I can't help but feel really threatened by this. What sort of reason could he contrive to get a court order? He feels like certain aspects of my life are his business to "figure out." I was not fully or completely honest with him because who I am is none of anyone's business unless I choose to make it their business. Obviously I was right to do so because in the end he is psycho enough to pay for information to find me!

I would just like to feel safe and right now I don't. And I am just so angry and violated that he feels entitled to this information enough to pursue it.

Is it illegal to be withhold information from someone or to give answers that aren't honest in order to keep one's privacy intact? He doesn't know for certain what is true or what isn't, but the whole point is that I don't want to talk to him anymore and that should be up to me. So can he get a court order over any of this???

Getting a court order would not be very easy and I wouldn't be concerned about it. He would have to either go to law enforcement or the courts to obtain such an order. He would have to provide proof that you have committed an illegal act. But the fact that he would have to reveal himself first would open him to possible stalking charges. So I just would not be concerned about it.

If you are concerned, then I would consult with local law enforcement or an attorney. Local police are taking cyberstalking very seriously.

The ONLY time it would be illegal to give false information is when there is an intent to commit fraud. Legally fraud is defined as: intentional perversion of truth in order to induce another to part with something of value or to surrender a legal right. It is not illegal for you to give someone a false name, address, etc unless you are doing so as part of an attempt to get something of value from them.

I don't think you have anything to really be concerned about.

[catholicgirl]

You may be able to get some sort of court order if you could convince the court that you feel threatened.

If there is any language that you think law enforcement would deem threatening or intimidating - I would call the police and ask them for direction.

There isn't, none that I have documented. He doesn't have a way to contact me now unless I sign onto Yahoo messenger. My mind is just running away with possibilities of him convincing some judge that he's been lied to and therefore there should be a court order against my information, which would enable him to find me in person.

I'm just afraiddddddddddd.

[catholicgirl]

Getting a court order would not be very easy and I wouldn't be concerned about it. He would have to either go to law enforcement or the courts to obtain such an order. He would have to provide proof that you have committed an illegal act. But the fact that he would have to reveal himself first would open him to possible stalking charges. So I just would not be concerned about it.

If you are concerned, then I would consult with local law enforcement or an attorney. Local police are taking cyberstalking very seriously.

The ONLY time it would be illegal to give false information is when there is an intent to commit fraud. Legally fraud is defined as: intentional perversion of truth in order to induce another to part with something of value or to surrender a legal right. It is not illegal for you to give someone a false name, address, etc unless you are doing so as part of an attempt to get something of value from them.

I don't think you have anything to really be concerned about.

This information helps a lot, thank you. I did not have any intent of getting him to part with something of value. What would be surrendering a legal right? I'm pretty sure I didn't have that intent, either.

I have thought about approaching law enforcement but I don't want to file something with my real name.