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Benharper · Sep 4, 2007, 09:48 PM

Me and this girl had been dating for almost 4 years now. About 3 weeks ago she told me that she wanted to take a break because school was to hard and everything was too hectic, I was fairly sad but figured it would be in the best interest for the relationship. A few days after I found out she was talking to another guy I confronted her about it but she told me she wasn't talking to anyone. A few days after that I saw her car at a grocery store waited for her and a guy dropped her off I was so close to making him bite the curb but I was just so mad at her. I told her I knew what was going on and I didn't want to talk to her anymore, she told me " Well i will always talk to you" 2-3 days later we end up going back out great right? No after about a week She writes me a message and tells me we can't go out anymore blah blah blah. She comes over to my house right after she wrote it and told me that I am Her soul mate and we will be together just not right now. She tells me she doesn't want to feel obligated and just wants to live her life. As of now we are great friends we talk every night and usually hang out but I am no suspecting that she is talking to yet another guy different from the first one, but like I said I'm not sure.I don't know what I should do I really want her back I love her more than anything and everything and since the second break up all I do is listen to ben harper music and cry, Im so confused she told me we will be back together in a month... Anyone have any advice on what I should do or anything thanks. Im 19 she is 17

Younique One · Sep 4, 2007, 10:26 PM

My suggestion would be to go on with your life and try your hardest to quit thinking so much about this girl. If this relationship is meant to be it will one way or the other but at this point it looks like she is wanting to play the field and you should be out there looking for that "One" special girl who wants to be with you.

Anyone who makes you cry isn't worth your tears! At 17 and 19, either one of you are ready to be committed to just one person. It's better that you let her go now so that she can date others than to have your heart broken later because you just wouldn't let go.

Shake that monkey off your back and hold your head high! You'll see that you'll began to feel better each day and before you know it, she won't be consuming your thoughts anymore. Enjoy these years and the other girls you are bound to meet! Women love men with self confidence... make sure they see yours! ;)

Benharper · Sep 5, 2007, 10:33 AM

Thanks I still want to talk to her a lot because if we don't talk I feel like we might become further apart and I love her and would do anything for this girl but if she's not worth my time then she's not worth it. We will see

althena · Sep 5, 2007, 11:21 AM

It sounds like, while you care about this girl, it isn't a healthy relationship for either of you.
A stable and healthy relationship, is one that is fun.. with someone you enjoy being with. Someone you aren't worried about knifing you in the back emotionally. This girl is very unstable. Very on again, off again.. she doesn't seem like she holds her relationship with you in the same high regard you hold your relationship to her.

This sounds old, I know... but you are young and have so much left to experience. Do you really want to tie yourself to someone that isn't as committed to you and to making the relationship work as you are?

Not to mention, as a side note, if you aren't careful.. due to the age difference.. that girl is jail bait and you could go to jail for rape if her parents suddenly decide they don't like you. Not probable perhaps, but.. it is definitely possible. There are stories of that happening. And those guys had a sex offender record for the rest of their lives. It's a stupid law, but it's there.

Best of luck to you!

Benharper · Sep 5, 2007, 01:25 PM

Thanks altehna I know what you mean when you said she doesn't hold the relationship with the same high regard that I do and it's a total bummer I know that she really doesn't deserve me and I also know that they say if you love somebody you got to set them free but I would rather locked to her than live in this pain and misery. And they say time will make all this go away but its time that has taken my tomorrow's and turned them into yesterday...

I feel like there is no one other than her but I know if I believe this than I'm stupid but she is my joy my everything and it sucks how she just acts like I'm just another person in her life I would do anything for her and it sucks that she really wouldn't do anything for me.

With so many people to love in my life, tell me why do I worry about one. :( whatever happens happens

confuseddater · Sep 8, 2007, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by Benharper

Me and this girl had been dating for almost 4 years now. About 3 weeks ago she told me that she wanted to take a break because school was to hard and everything was too hectic, I was fairly sad but figured it would be in the best interest for the relationship. A few days after I found out she was talking to another guy I confronted her about it but she told me she wasn't talking to anyone. A few days after that i saw her car at a grocery store waited for her and a guy dropped her off I was so close to making him bite the curb but i was just so mad at her. I told her i knew what was going on and I didn't want to talk to her anymore, she told me " Well i will always talk to you" 2-3 days later we end up going back out great right?? no after about a week She writes me a message and tells me we can't go out anymore blah blah blah. She comes over to my house right after she wrote it and told me that I am Her soul mate and we will be together just not right now. She tells me she doesn't want to feel obligated and just wants to live her life. As of now we are great friends we talk every night and usually hang out but I am no suspecting that she is talking to yet another guy different from the first one, but like I said I'm not sure.I don't know what i should do i really want her back i love her more than anything and everything and since the second break up all i do is listen to ben harper music and cry, Im so confused she told me we will be back together in a month...Anyone have any advice on what i should do or anything thanks. Im 19 she is 17

I am not an expert about dating but I know abot relationships. This is not the girl for you!
If she keeps braking up with you then she will keep doing it again. So get over her and find a different gir that will actually like you. So good luck and I hope you make a good decision!

Jiser · Sep 8, 2007, 03:26 PM

The ages say it all. One large giant mine waiting to go BOOOOM!

Knock this one on the head and stick to No Contact. Doesn't mean you won't ever meet again , you have the rest of your lives ahead. Why not grow, mature and see what wonders the world has to offer. Then see what happens in a few years. You may find wonders...