[crushedovernover]

This is going to be one hell of a post so readers get comfy... When I was in grade school I met one of my best friends in the world. He had a twin sister "we will get to that later" He was like my brother, I lived at his house threw high school. His family and I were really close. I always had a thing for his twin. When we were young young we would fool around and what ever. At one point I took her virginity.. He was not to happy o.O lol. Her and I never officially got together even threw high school she did her thing and I did mine. She moved to cali for a while and I missed her so much even back then. She endd up moving to BC where she settled for a while. I remember her and I talking about me moving out there, unfourtantly while we were talking about this she met a guy out there and I continued to do my thing. I always believed her and I were meant to be together. By this time I was probably 20-21. I still remember one day being at my buddys house and like I said I used to live there so it was like home. Any ways one time I was sitting around and she called and we talked for a short while. Her and her guy had come down that xmas and that was a tough one to swallow. SO the day I was chatting with her she made a comment about not being with him and I said to her you have some one right here who has always loved you and cared for you. After that I hadn't spoken to her for a while and her mom had actually told me that her daughter said to her mom I think it is too late to get me to love her again. More time passed then tragedy struck. M best friend was on his way to work and got in a car accident. He died on impact. This day I was out playing paint ball when I got the call. All that was left on my cell message was. :my name: it was his dad first... MSG GOES hey buddy could you come by here when your done I want to talk to you.. NEXT MSG his older sister 'not the twin" saying you should really come here.. Me and another friend were driving home and he made a joke saying, watch :mfriendswhodied: probly died. We laugh because who woulda thought. So I get there and find out the bad news. I was in shock, like all i said for about 45 min was "no fuggin way, there is just no way" And immediately I stopped after 45 min and look at his mom and said does :histwin: know... She said no not yet.. THIS CRUSHED MY HEART for the women I love so so much is going to find out her twin died.. She is still out west at this point and with this looser. He didn't come down for the funeral because he was too busy with school. None the less. I remember the day she came home, I was down stairs in the back room I couldn't even bare to see her in that much pain. After the crying kind of settled I came out of the back and preceded to his room where she was crouched crying on the his bed. She took one look at me and grabed me so tight and seemd like she would never let go. That night her and I cuddled and talked most of the night and I said what I always felt and wanted. She new I always like her even told her I loved her when we were younger. I told her time was too short in life and I wanted to be with her. The days went on and I was so lost and just lost. My whole life came crashing in on me. She stayed in town for a bit broke up with the guy and then she went back out west to collect her things and to finish the semester of school. While she was out there we planned for me to come for a visit. The family also planned a trip to goway for xmas since we always spent xmas at her moms. So I went to visit her and it was great. Came home a couple weeks later she said her nipples were sore. I said go get a pragancy test. She did and she was. We made the decision that it was gods way of giving life back to us. And it was what we both wanted. Xmas came and went every one was happy. She came home to surprise me on m birthday 22 I think. I was still in rough shape from my buddys death and little stressed about the coming baby. She came home and we started to begin our relation ship. Well hit the fan. I doing what I should have done. BE a man! At the time I was working and going to school. But I was so distant from her because I was still depressed over him dying. She tried to help me and she eventually got mad and moved out. I pinned for a while. I was fighting with her and I don't blame her for moving out. Time passed and we tried again but she was so hurt from how I was when she came do she didn't think I loved her. We split again and I did everything this site says not to do. I eventually got her back but it was still rocky. After my sons 1rst birthday we got back together for a quik minute then split again because she thought she had feelings from another old old friend of the family. This didn't last long and I still was doing what I shouldn't of being weak and needy, She broke up with this guy and we tried again. By this point I had been seeing a counselor to help me with m depression and to help me stay positive. It was great at first but then her old behaviour of jealousy and worrys of me not loving her came out again. I assured he I did and tried to everything possible to make her happy. I work for my dad so I have a little le way when I show up. She didn't like this as she stated she wanted a MAN. I basically was letting her walk all over me. Even her own mom told me she needed to suffer a little bit for her to realize her true feelings. But what eves. So I go to school twt and sat. I work from 8-5:30 then school from 6:30-9:30 She was also in school, We didn't have much time to just her and I and she was still living at her parents house. We started to fight and argue but we kind of tried to work threw all of it but then she stopped trying as hard. We went out with our friends to a nickel back concert and that night she asked me over and over ask me to mary you tonight it will be so romantic.. Then two days later she caught me sleeping in.. It was 8:45 and I should have been at work for 8. She was really dispointed about this. The following weekend she broke up with me and ONE week later she took off to Florida with some guy she claimed to meet at her work, She is a waitress and a strip club. Originally I had a problem with it but I decided it was a way for her to make good money and she enjoyed it so I was the bigger man so I thought, So she said she met him a week before we broke up which I think is a lie but if it is the truth she only new him for one week and a week later she went on vacation with him for a week. Rebound? Since we split this time though I decided I wasn't going to chase her anymore. Few times she said I was smothering her so she wanted space so this time it was final. No more chasing no more trying or calling or want you back.. I do want her back but she needs to come back on her own. She says she loves me but is not in love with me. She says it is over but she has said these things in the past, When we split she tends to just hae me so she can justify what she is doing. She has said this stuff before but when I used to chase her she would say she was angry and disapointed and she said that is why she says these things. Anyway itsbeen alsmot a month since Ive spoken to her. I just tlk to her mom today and said to her I know in my heart things will work out they always do. Ive always been the one to chase her its now time for her to come back on her own, Im trying to give her time to miss me. The reason I typed all of this was so you could see our history. There are things missing any questions just ask. This time thought I don't no if she will come back. My mom says she will. All the girls at my work says she will. She is lost in life right now I will exlain that if someone asks but... What do you people think. You think true love waits. . Youset I free and if it comes back.. Is me not calling her once affecting her? Can you just stop loving some one with the history that we have. Is it really over. Does a mother of her twin bothers best friend just say its over forever and really mean it this time? Can time heal?

She always wanted me to get a second job and work more so I did since the split and I am busitng my to prove to her that I can be the man for her. Im now 25 going on 26 in feb.. Is there any hope ?

[crushedovernover]

Anything ? Or am I doomed

[talaniman]

If your busting your butt to get her back, your wasting time. Move on and do things for yourself. Sorry.

[crushedovernover]

I'm busting my butt for me so I can provide for my son and myself. But do you think there is any chance.. Is me ignoring her having any affect?

[talaniman]

You may have a child that ties you to this female, but waiting on maybe is not healthy for you at all. Get healthy yourself and have a life for you and your son that makes you both happy. No one can predict the future, but we can see the misery and pain your dealing with. I feel that and suggest that you stop and see her for what her actions have shown you. Not relationship material as you have written here. Itcould be Years before she gets her act together and that's not healthy wishing for some one to change, as you can never go back to the way it was, that's over with.

But do you think there is any chance

NO! No matter what her family, or yours thinks. Let her go, and worry about your son.

[Treeny]

Hi crushed. You have a long history with her and I'm sure you both do love each other.
She loves you but maybe not in the same way. She knows you will always be on the side burner waiting. She is living her life and doing what she wants while you wait and wonder.
You have no choice, you have to let her. Go on with your life.
Have you dated anyone else?

[crushedovernover]

No. We split a month ago. She is dating a guy , I don't no if they are still a item. Mabe she doesn't feel the same way right now, but our history and everything idont no. I just think I need to give her time and space for her to realize she does love me the same . Way . I smotherd her a lot when we were together.. She asked for space once or twice and not really gave it to her. I always chased her to come back, Its now time for me to stand up and move on. She needs to come back to me with her own intentions. Is it possible for us to ever reunite. My mom thinks she will be back but for the wrong reasons. I truly love her and I know what I did wrong. Im trying to be strong and independent to show her I am a man who can take care of it all. Im doing it for me too. Makes me feel good to be in control of my own life again. When she came back the last time she said to me that I was the only person she wanted to be with. Does this still hold true even though I think she is ocnfused ?

[crushedovernover]

NO! No matter what her family, or yours thinks. Let her go, and worry about your son.

I agree. But I feel that if I show my ndpendence and individuality again she will se me in a new light. She wanted a man. Im working and busting my butt not for her but for me and my son. I like to have control of my life again. I smotherd her and was needy. I know my mistakes and I'm manning up. Im kind of waiting but I'm not at the same time. This time I'm done and she needs to bethe one to come back. Im done chasing she needs to realize for her self and see she needs to put in a effort to make this all work. She can't always get what she wants. And this time I'm just ignoring her and doing my own thing. Let her see me going out and having fun with out her. Show her that even though she thinks I think she is the world to me time to prove she isn't and that I'm strong with out her.. I have faith she will come back and make m family whole again.

[crushedovernover]

? Any more?

[crushedovernover]

I could really use some words of encouragement..