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    CaptainRich's Avatar
    CaptainRich Posts: 4,492, Reputation: 537
    Cars & Trucks Expert
     
    #81

    Sep 4, 2007, 05:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
    Music makes me feel better. I currently have music blasting in my face. :p
    KICK IT!!

    Hey, start, Tal was the calm one, I was ready to kick some @ss!
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #82

    Sep 4, 2007, 05:56 PM
    Cap'n yes, I know. I think deserves it too... in time sweet. Right Star?
    xCrookedWingsx's Avatar
    xCrookedWingsx Posts: 22, Reputation: 4
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    #83

    Sep 4, 2007, 05:57 PM
    Oh my , that is very very scarry. How old is this girl. I'm not sure what you can do because you seem to be doing everything, listen to his phone convos or look up his history? Set a hiddin camara so you can see the comp screen? I really do not know
    I hope you are okk
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #84

    Sep 4, 2007, 06:54 PM
    He just called me saying that he was very sorry and nothing really was going on. He said he was going to delete and block all contact from her (myspace/yahoo) and as far as the phone calls, his sister is staying there with this girl, so he said that if his sister wants to talk to him she can call him, he's not calling there anymore.

    Should I trust him?
    CaptainRich's Avatar
    CaptainRich Posts: 4,492, Reputation: 537
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    #85

    Sep 4, 2007, 07:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
    He just called me saying that he was very sorry and nothing really was going on. He said he was going to delete and block all contact from her (myspace/yahoo) and as far as the phone calls, his sister is staying there with this girl, so he said that if his sister wants to talk to him she can call him, he's not calling there anymore.

    Should I trust him?
    Do you want to trust him? Dang, he's rung you out today!
    I don't understand his sudden change of heart. You busted him outright. It wasn't something he was going to confess to! How long has this been going on? Calling and all..
    But, you've children involved. You say he's remorseful?
    There are many issues going and emotions, too...
    I'll back you on any decision...
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #86

    Sep 4, 2007, 07:49 PM
    He said he talked to his mom and she set him straight. She said something stupid like this is not worth losing his family.

    He told me he doesn't want something like this to tear us apart. He said that this girl does make it sound bad, but she's making it sound way worse than it is. Apparently she wanted to talk him out of moving us so far from his family. If this is the case, it is none of her business, and the umbilical cord between him and his mother needs to be cut at one point or another.

    He has totally drained me today. I want to trust him, but I don't know if I should just yet. As for the calling, he said the only reason he calls over there is to talk to his sister, he didn't mention if she calls him or not (although he did say she called him today to "rat" on me). I wouldn't even be able to tell because all it says on phone records is "incoming call".

    He says he's sorry. My brother says to be pleasant to him, but still keep my guard up. He could just be covering his own butt.
    CaptainRich's Avatar
    CaptainRich Posts: 4,492, Reputation: 537
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    #87

    Sep 4, 2007, 07:59 PM
    Are you close enough to his mom to talk to her, say just to "thank her";) ;)
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #88

    Sep 4, 2007, 08:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainRich
    Are you close enough to his mom to talk to her, say just to "thank her";) ;)
    Ehh that's iffy. I'm not sure if she even likes me yet (she didn't like me when we first got married), but at least she knows what is best for everyone.
    sGt HarDKorE's Avatar
    sGt HarDKorE Posts: 656, Reputation: 98
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    #89

    Sep 4, 2007, 08:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nauticalstar420
    He just called me saying that he was very sorry and nothing really was going on. He said he was going to delete and block all contact from her (myspace/yahoo) and as far as the phone calls, his sister is staying there with this girl, so he said that if his sister wants to talk to him she can call him, he's not calling there anymore.

    Should I trust him?

    I believe in second chances but it depends on how old this other girl was. If she is really young then I don't know I would worried for my kids safety. But if he is seeking help and you think he is really trying then yeah I think you can trust him. We all make mistakes
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #90

    Sep 4, 2007, 08:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE
    I believe in second chances but it depends on how old this other girl was. If she is really young then idk i would worried for my kids safety. But if he is seeking help and you think he is really trying then yeah i think you can trust him. We all make mistakes
    He is 22 and she is 19.
    CaptainRich's Avatar
    CaptainRich Posts: 4,492, Reputation: 537
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    #91

    Sep 4, 2007, 08:12 PM
    Hmmmm. Day by day, for you to even begin to trust him he's going to have to tow the straight and narrow.
    His actions through the course of this hasn't been that of a loving husband.
    Keep your guard up... you deserve better than this angst!
    ... for what it's worth, you've got my support.
    Just be careful (have I rambled enough?)
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #92

    Sep 4, 2007, 08:55 PM
    Ok, OK, so we are getting answers, right Star, they may be iffy and incomplete, but he is going to try. Here is what I see, I see a man covering his A** before you find out what has really transpired between the two. I don't think he is being 100% honest, but I guess time will tell. I hope it works out for the both of you. I wonder if you can get him to go to a little therapy.. I think he needs to feel guilty a little longer! I personally wouldn't start trusting him right away. I wouldn't be able to turn this off so fast. You are calm... LOL I will support what you will do though, just like Cap'n, we got your back!
    inthebox's Avatar
    inthebox Posts: 787, Reputation: 179
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    #93

    Sep 4, 2007, 08:56 PM
    Nautical:

    Sorry about your situation.
    Just my 2 cents:

    State clearly and calmly to him what you will do if he cheats.
    Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
    I would go so far as to seek legal counsel and record all debts and assets, deeds etc.
    You have to protect yourself; and he will see that you mean business.

    Then, leave it in his hands...
    Tell him you love him [ if you do ] and
    Never mention it again, no further accusations or criticism [ whether true or not ].

    If has cheated or is going to there is nothing you can do, but to move on. Sorry.

    If he has not cheated, then this should make him less defensive and maybe open up to you as why he is seeking the attention of someone other than you.

    This is not to excuse his behavior, which is reprehensible, but you can only control how you will react.


    I really hope the best for you both.

    BTW - I'm in western ky - small place and everyone knows someone somehow.





    Grace and Peace
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #94

    Sep 5, 2007, 05:08 AM
    All of my support and best wishes are focused on you dear and I hope that you and your family don't have to wait too long to regain your peace and harmony.

    My dad is from Hazard, KY but I've never been there. My Kentucky blood is boiling though and if I were there, I'd find her and kick her a** for you, that's for sure.

    Hang in there Nautical, we are here with you.

    Armed and Ready.
    cerisa's Avatar
    cerisa Posts: 247, Reputation: 71
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    #95

    Sep 5, 2007, 08:54 AM
    STAR,I hope your relationship remains intact. If a man gets a "roving eye" it is in trouble. If this is just a one time response to a younger girls flattery, then it may survive . Looks like your friends here have the subject well covered for you. Being waaaay older I have been through this , and worse,a long time ago. My husband realised what he could lose, and mended his ways. He has told me, and shown me a thousand times that our love and our family is precious to him. We have been married 42 years now. Good Luck Sweetie
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #96

    Sep 5, 2007, 10:12 AM
    Star, you better come on. I am starting to worry about you! Hugs, I hope you are well this morning!
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #97

    Sep 5, 2007, 10:39 AM
    I'm here! Lol.

    Thank you all for your wonderful responses! I have decided to be nice to him (just because I hate being mean) but my eyes are still wide open. I sat here and watched him get rid of her from internet contact, so hopefully he will start being good. I don't fully trust him as of yet, that is something I feel he has to earn back.

    cerisa - I loved your story. I am so happy for you that it turned out okay in the end. Good for your husband for coming to his senses. He would have lost a lot if he lost you. :)

    Chery - When you said your Kentucky blood was boiling and you'd kick her ***, you brought a huge smile to my face.. lol. That was such a cool and sweet thing to say :p n Thank you for supporting me, you are a sweetheart. :)
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #98

    Sep 5, 2007, 10:48 AM
    Good for you sweet... so happy, you are too sweet to be treated that way. He is a lucky man, and this may be something to cherish. Hard times make for the best I always say! Hugs, Start (no ax murderer here LOL)
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
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    #99

    Sep 5, 2007, 10:59 AM
    I glad to see that he is coming around a bit and getting rid of all internet contact from her. He was probably scared out of his pants and should be. I wouldn't give to him right away either, your doing the right thing Star! Good job! I'm pretty close to Kentucky so me and Chery could gang up and show this girl some REAL southern hospitality if you need us to! Hang in there babe, sounds like it's all going to pan out!
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #100

    Sep 5, 2007, 11:02 AM
    Ya, Rank, she sure is terrific, huh? Hugs all around, through the tears and smiles...

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