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Full Member
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Aug 30, 2007, 02:13 PM
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I totally think that LOVE IS REAL!! I'm still in love with my ex and it is as real now as it was when I fell in love with him 7 years ago. If I had to bet money on it I would say he still love me too but he had things in life he had to figure out.
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Expert
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Aug 30, 2007, 02:18 PM
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I have been through a few good relationships, and yes love is real, sometimes it doesn't last, but its real.
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Full Member
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Aug 30, 2007, 03:00 PM
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Hello.
I agree the word Love is used way to easy by most people. That doesn't mean it isn't real it just means many people don't understand it and or have not given a relationship the time it takes for Love to grow. I think you will find that most people use the word Love when its really Lust. Lust is strong and powerfully at first then with time fades, where Love grows with time. The amount of time is different for everyone.
Because Love is a way of life it is always changing, it should be growing stronger but in some cases people grow apart. That doesn't mean it wasn't true Love but things happen and what people need in life will change and if you don't change together you grow apart.
Dennis777
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Junior Member
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Sep 8, 2007, 02:45 PM
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I broke NC and now feel like sh.how do I resolve this?
Don't know if you read my last few posts but the jist was, I was in love with this older woman I met on the net, we met and was togther for a short amount of time, and when we split a week later she was telling me she was 'in love' with another guy.
6-7 weeks after we split we were still speaking online, but I think the only reason she spoke to me is because she knew how much it was killing me. But I started the NC and it was going well for like 3 weeks, she was msg'in me and I was ignoring her, and then one day, for some stupid reason I replyed... I know I shot myself in the foot. But she was telling me how she was really un-happy at the moment, and how her life wasn't going well for her. And I broke and started to comfort her >.<
And now all the feelings I had for this woman are back and its killing me now. I was starting to feel like me again and then this happens.
What should I do, because I'm so confused at the moment, and I need some help please..
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Ultra Member
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Sep 8, 2007, 02:54 PM
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Sorry to hear all those feelings came back...
All you can really do is start no contact again...
It may not be so painful the second time around.
Use what it feels like after you're in contact with her as a reminder
Of why you shouldn't be doing so...
Best wishes...
We're here friend if you need to just talk or get things off your chest.
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Ultra Member
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Sep 8, 2007, 02:57 PM
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BTW, sounds like she was using you a little bit to dump her emotions on...
Not Nice... You don't need that...
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Ultra Member
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Sep 8, 2007, 03:22 PM
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Don't be a puppet on strings. In this case its real life and you have control over the puppeteer. Use your control wisely and stick to NC. Confusion is what your ex is, get rid of it and your feel so much better.
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Full Member
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Sep 11, 2007, 07:01 AM
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Love may be thrown around to sparingly, But real love is real.
For example if you have children you love them unconditionaly, it don't matter what they do, you can't stop loving them. I think that love grows you can fall in love with someone
For all the reasons , attraction, having fun togeather, a lot in common you feel a connection.
But the real deep love comes after a long time with someone.
When you feel like the person is a part of you. When they are hurting you feel their pain,
You wish you could take the pain for them. When after all the romantic bliss slows down
And you still miss the person, when you go through not only great times but very hard times and it makes you feel even more bonded.
This is real .
Lust is tricky, and usually don't last after the beginning romantic bliss.
You start to feel yourself pulling away, wondering what you saw in this person.
They don't seem as attractive as at first, they may even seem ugly now.
You see who they really are and you don't like it.
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Junior Member
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Sep 13, 2007, 10:57 AM
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Breaking point.
I don't know if you read my last posts but the jist was, I was in love with this older woman I met on the net, we met and was togther for a short amount of time, and when we split a week later she was telling me she was 'in love' with another guy.
its been about 10 weeks now since we split and at first we kept in contact, but we always ended up arguing. So I decided to do the NC thing, and it worked for about 3 weeks until I caved in a responded. Now a week after breaking it, her new Boyfriend sends me a message telling me I'm sad, and that I need to get a life. And I kind of switched and went nuts and msg'ed her and we had a big argument, where I pretty much told her I that I hate her, and that I wished she never walked into my life. Which is what I really do feel, I despise this woman with a passion now.
But the thing is, I've deleted her of everything, and yet, I FEEL BAD =( I have no idea why and its really pissing me off because I've done nothing wrong, yet I'm feeling so upset at the moment. I feel like msg'in her and saying I'm sorry and that I didn't mean it. Why can't I just walk away?? I want to so bad, and I feel this is it, this is my best opportunity to do it. But I just don't want to end it on a big argument. What should I do??
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Full Member
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Sep 13, 2007, 11:00 AM
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 Originally Posted by Zell
I dunno if you read my last posts but the jist was, i was in love with this older woman i met on the net, we met and was togther for a short amount of time, and when we split a week later she was telling me she was 'in love' with another guy.
its been about 10 weeks now since we split and at first we kept in contact, but we always ended up arguing. So i decided to do the NC thing, and it worked for about 3 weeks until i caved in a responded. now a week after breaking it, her new Boyfriend sends me a msg telling me im sad, and that i need to get a life. and i kinda switched and went nuts and and msg'ed her and we had a big argument, where i pretty much told her i that i hate her, and that i wished she never walked into my life. Which is what i really do feel, i despise this woman with a passion now.
But the thing is, i've deleted her of everything, and yet, I FEEL BAD =( i have no idea why and its really pissing me off because i've done nothing wrong, yet im feeling so upset at the moment. I feel like msg'in her and saying im sorry and that i didn't mean it. why can't i just walk away???? i want to so bad, and i feel this is it, this is my best oppertunity to do it. but i just don't want to end it on a big argument. What should i do?????
Walk away... there seems to be way too much drama in this relationship. Just move on.
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Junior Member
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Sep 13, 2007, 12:09 PM
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I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know why I feel like I owe her an apology...
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Junior Member
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Sep 13, 2007, 12:38 PM
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Walk away. You owe her nothing, just as she owes you nothing. Sounds like you got in too deep, too fast. Happens to the best of us. Just shake it off and move on. Good luck.
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Ultra Member
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Sep 13, 2007, 12:49 PM
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My guess is that you are not a bad guy. You try to do right by people and you generally hate letting someone think that there are bad feelings or that you despise them. If I'm right that's why you feel that you owe her an apology.
But you don't. You don't owe her anything. She hasn't been your girlfriend for a long time You don't owe her an explanation for anything that you do in your life just like she does not owe you an explanation for anything that she does in her life.
Keep walking away. This woman sounds like a serious drama mama.
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Ultra Member
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Sep 13, 2007, 12:50 PM
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WHY?
You were in LOVE....
Love can happen quick, slow, for the right reasons, for the wrong reasons.
Now, it's OVER. REALLY OVER. But the loving feelings take time to fade as we realize that it was not real... or right!
So, with time and silence you will love again.
It's like breaking a bone. You don't expect to walk the next day! The doc says it will take 9 weeks....And we accept that! Well, in your case it will take at least 3-5 months...(maybe less) then you will be healed.
NC is your life now.
And then you will have a new life later.
I have how to post for breakups you can reference if you need.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-114179.html
Start healing NOW.
CHEERS
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Junior Member
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Sep 29, 2007, 02:38 PM
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Yay! NC worked!
Ok, I'm not bragging, but I stopped talking to my ex a few months back, I did the whole NC thing. And an hour ago she msg'ed me telling me that she missed me and that she's broken up with the guy she's was with, and she wants to know if there's any hope of us ever getting back together!!
NC Worked! There is hope after all!
Pity I'm over the B***H now though =)
Thanks to everyone on this site that replyed to my posts and advised me to walk away and to do the NC.
I went through some bad moments, and the people on this site really helped me, so thank you all.
I feel so good now :D
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Ultra Member
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Sep 29, 2007, 04:20 PM
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Lol ego boosT! ;] congrats for the healing. What's your plans now?
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Full Member
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Sep 29, 2007, 04:38 PM
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How long were you together? And congrtas. Enjoy this lol.
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Junior Member
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Sep 29, 2007, 04:41 PM
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Congrats! :) :)
And yeah, details please, as Crushedovernover suggested above.
We need to know how long you stayed in NC, etc, so we can learnnnnnnnnnnn.
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Ultra Member
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Sep 29, 2007, 04:58 PM
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I am NC over 10 weeks now. Woo :)
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Full Member
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Sep 29, 2007, 06:00 PM
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I'm going on a almost 2 months not quite where jiser is but I'm trucking..
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