[kenymegan]

I am 31 years old and my now ex-fiance who was going through a divorce when we were together is now back with her husband and didn't go thought completely with the divorce. She became pregnant with my child and has a 15 month old daughter with him. She is not employed and recently dropped out of school... I have been helping her with expenses as her husband can not afford one child. She has stated that she would leave him but only if he would get no custody or only supervised custody of their daughter. He is a very unstable individual and I have told her that there is no way he will ever go near my child. He has thrown her out of there place at least 3 times in the past couple months. I want to know my rights and how to get custdody and what the realistic chances are?

[ScottGem]

First, are you listed on the birth certificate? Second, were they legally separated when she became pregnant?

You will need an attorney. You need to file for Physical custody of your child. The mother needs resume the divorce proceedings and file for physical custody with supervised visitation.

If you can prove the home is unstable and you are on the birth certificate, you stand a good chance of getting custody. If you are not on the because, then you will need to establish paternity first, that will make it a bit harder, but still doable.

Getting her out from under him may be harder, but you should keep the two separate.

[kenymegan]

The baby is not born. He is due on the 26th of September. Can I file for custody before he is born? Can I get a restraining order against her husband so he can't be in contact with my baby? No they were not legally separated. She is wish washy about her situation... the defeated wife type... Another question if I obtain a lawyer and she can't afford to get her own and go to court, what happens... do I get custody?

[kenymegan]

The baby is not born. He is due on the 26th of September. Can I file for custody before he is born? Can I get a restraining order against her husband so he can't be in contact with my baby? No they were not legally separated. She is wish washy about her situation... the defeated wife type... Another question if I obtain a lawyer and she can't afford to get her own and go to court, what happens... do I get custody?

[Fr_Chuck]

No you can no file for custody until the baby is born.

She can get an attorney normally through legal aid association. Unless the husband is a known sex offender, or some real danger I doubt you will get a order of protection.

And you will have to prove normally she is a danger to get more than joint custody.

[ScottGem]

You NEED to gat a lawyer now to advise you. No its not automatic if you get a lawyer and she doesn't. I don't think you can file for custody until the child is born, about you will need to be prepared to file as soon as its born. You may have to file pre-birth restraining order to keep him away. Legally, he can sign the birth certificate and be considered the father unless you can prove paternity.

[GV70]

First-if she is still married her husband's name will be placed on BC.
Second-it depends on where the case is-for example:if you are in Florida and she and her husband both resist to your paternity claims-you will drink a glass of cold water... if you are in New York-you have to prove that your action is in the best interest of the child and your action will not disrupt the family and it will not have an impact on the other child... if you are in New Hampshire-you will have all rights.

[GV70]

You may have to file pre-birth restraining order to keep him away.

I have never heard about pre-birth restraining order filed by putative father to keep the husband away.Are there any precedents?

[ScottGem]

I have never heard about pre-birth restraining order filed by putative father to keep the husband away.Are there any precedents?

Nope, I'm just guessing here. But there has to be something he can try, not saying that a judge will grant it.

[kenymegan]

You mentioned New York, Florida and New Hampshire... do you know what the laws are in North Dakota and Minnesota? Another quick question... I know Minnesota favors the mother in these cases unless she is completely incompatent... if here husband lives in North Dakota is she not considered a resident of North Dakota then? If my name is on the birth certificate am I in all rights allowed to take the baby home from the hospital?

[ScottGem]

Please don't start a new thread, I've asked this be merged with your other thread.

[GV70]

I suppose your post is for me... but I cannot remember your previous post and that's te reason to ask a moderator to merge your posts .

[GV70]

You mentioned New York, Florida and New Hampshire.....do you know what the laws are in North Dakota and Minnesota? Another quick question....I know Minnesota favors the mother in these cases unless she is completely incompatent...........if here husband lives in North Dakota is she not considered a resident of North Dakota then? If my name is on the birth certificate am I in all rights allowed to take the baby home from the hospital?

Yes- I know:)
In North Dakota you will have little chances.There presumption can be rebuted only by the wife and husband and nothwithstanding ND has adopted UPA ,the biological fathers do not have rights to assert paternity if the mother and her husband resist it.In Minnesota biological fathers have standing to bring actions for establishing parental rights.

[GV70]

Some from NC Family code:
14-20-37. (602) Standing to maintain proceeding. Subject to sections 14-20-11
Through 14-20-24 and sections 14-20-42 and 14-20-44, a proceeding to adjudicate parentage
May be maintained by:
1. The child;
2. The mother of the child;
3. A man whose paternity of the child is to be adjudicated;
4. The support enforcement agency;

14-20-38. (603) Parties to proceeding. The following individuals must be joined as
Parties in a proceeding to adjudicate parentage:
1. The mother of the child; and
2. A man whose paternity of the child is to be adjudicated.

14-20-42. (607) Limitation - Child having presumed father.
1. Except as otherwise provided in subsection 2, a proceeding brought by a presumed
Father, the mother, or another individual to adjudicate the parentage of a child having
A presumed father must be commenced not later than two years after the birth of the
Child.
2. A proceeding seeking to disprove the father-child relationship between a child and
The child's presumed father may be maintained at any time if the court determines
That:
a. The presumed father and the mother of the child neither cohabited nor engaged
In sexual intercourse with each other during the probable time of conception;
And
b. The presumed father never openly held out the child as his own.
3. For purposes of this section and section 14-20-43, an action to establish support for
A child is a proceeding to adjudicate parentage if the child's presumed father raises
nonpaternity as a defense to the action.

[GV70]

I hope my posts helped...

[ScottGem]

Rather than asking what the laws are in various places, where do YOU live? That's the only place the laws apply. Unless you can get the mother to havce the baby in a state more favorable (and with an impending due date that's not likely), what laws are in other states don't matter.

[GV70]

Rather than asking what the laws are in various places, where do YOU live? That's the only place the laws apply. Unless you can get the mother to havce the baby in a state more favorable (and with an impending due date that's not likely), what laws are in other states don't matter.

Scott, I think it is clear... ;) she lives in North Dakota and he lives in Minnesota,or conversely... for me-that's the reason for him to be interested in ND and MN law:)

[ScottGem]

If my name is on the birth certificate am I in all rights allowed to take the baby home from the hospital?

By the way, this wasn't answered. The answer is not without a custody order. Generally, absent a custody order, the mother has custody, so the baby goes home with the mother.

P.S. to GV70, didn't pick up on that, it probably is the case.