[chwiley]

My ex is getting married. We have a child together who he sees regularly, so I see him a lot when he picks her up and all of that. We get along good with regards to our child. We have not been together for about 8 years. I had dated people, he has also. He is getting maried in about 3 months. I am suddenly very bothered by this as the time gets closer. I am not seeing anyone right now. I know that he is very worried about getting married. He has made many comments to me about it. He is going to buy land, and we were talking about it. I was advising him not to get her name on it unless he was already married. He stated to me that he will not be putting her name on it at all in case he gets a divorce. This is one of the many comments he has made to me. I feel like I want to tell him if he's not sure that he shouldn't get married. But I also am not sure if it is my place. They were supposed to get married last year an put it off. I think one of the other reasons I am upset is I feel like we will not be getting back together if he's getting married. I did not think I wanted to be with him again but I keep dreaming about him, it is all I think about lately. I keep dreaming I should tell him that he shouldn't get married. Am I crazy? Should I staty out of it?

[macksmom]

That's a tough one!

On one hand, as a friend, you don't want him to make a mistake especially if he is already talking about "if we get divorced".

On the other hand, you don't want to assume too much and over-step your boundary, if he does if fact want to get married and his soon to be wife finds out you told him not to, you have to think this is where your child will be going, you don't want to make it into a bad situation.

Ugh...

[macksmom]

Why did you guys initially separate?
Do you think he wants to be with you and is making these comments to see if you feel the same?
Or do you think you are just seeing him with someone else and realize they will be starting a family and wouldn't normally want to be with him if in fact you were about to get married?

[Chery]

Dear, what is taking you so long. Are you afraid of being rejected by him if you tell him how you really feel? You two have something in common, a child, and total rejection will not happen.

At least you'll know where you stand if you tell him you still love him and who knows, he might be feeling the same way, especially if he talks about his relationship with you and mentions 'divorce' before he's even married.

This stalemate is keeping both of you from going forward in your lives and it is not fair to you or your child. Think of all the time that's wasted already.

So, In My Opinion.. tell him how you feel, you can't loose, just gain here, to include peace of mind and maybe happiness.

Good luck, dear and keep us posted.