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ayarveda · Aug 27, 2007, 07:11 AM

My husband masturbates a lot. It's not like we never have sex. He's always horny, I can't keep up. I come home from work and he's locked up in the bedroom. When I catch him doing it, it makes me uncomfortable and I get upset. He gets mad at me for being upset and says thing like "if you don't want me to do it have sex when I want it." He can be very disrespectful. Sometimes or most of the time I feel like sex is the only thing he values in our relationship or that that's all that makes him happy and secure.
Is it normal? If so, why does it bother me? I am so used to it, I don't know any more.

smoothy · Aug 27, 2007, 07:18 AM

As a man speaking he is being an arrogant sob. Its not normal, and if I did it I would expect my wife to be even more upset than you are. I think he has other issues as well. Like an addiction to getting off as well as others since he made the comment about "if you don't want me to do it have sex when I want it." That's just not right for him to say unless you are never in the mood or never want it which you say is not the case. Once a day is about normal as far as needs go.

ayarveda · Aug 27, 2007, 07:22 AM

Thanks smoothy. You said once a day is normal. For masturbation of sex? What did you mean?

smoothy · Aug 27, 2007, 07:51 AM

Once a day, either or... Once a day for sex is normal... I don't feel its normal to be masturbating at all as long as you have an available and willing partner. Normal people don't wail away on it till you can't get off any more every day... thats signs of a problem.

What I mean by that is yeah I could go more than once a day, but don't as once a day with quality time with wife is better than just going after quantity.
I'm mid 40's wife a few years younger. Those numbers will go down a bit when you are in your 50's and as you go higher in age. And if you have any number of kids running around.

excon · Aug 27, 2007, 08:07 AM

Hello a:

If you're young (under 50) sex once a day is VERY normal for BOTH partners.

I have a feeling, however, that you're not into it anywhere near once a day. I also have the feeling, that sex isn't that important to you at all. In addition, I have the feeling that your husband gets turned down a lot - hence his attitude. If so, it's understandable that he whacks off if he's not getting what he wants from you. Better his right hand than the neighbor across the street, doncha think?

Now, I'm reading a lot into this very short post. But, I'm right, aren't I?

excon

smoothy · Aug 27, 2007, 08:55 AM

I might want to add, his tone of submit or I'll get it elsewhere is also uncool. You should not be pressured into doing it whenever he decides its time. After all you are an equal partner and have a say on when you want to do it as well, he has to respect that and come to a compromise as to when you do it.

Xrayman · Aug 27, 2007, 04:53 PM

He sounds like he a sexual addiction-notice its all about him?? There are other issues in your relationship-you need to discuss and find them out. If he has an addictive personality, then masturbating so much would explain that. He's addicted.

"Normal" is subjective-there is no real amount of sex/masturbation that is normal for everybody.