[sweetnectarbabe]

I'm married & have young children (3). I've always thought I am deeply in love with my hubby. We have been together for 8 years now. But lately I have been discontent... He's a generous lover my husband but he lacks the stamina I desire... I noticed I have been getting attention from male co-workers.. & I like the attention... but none of them stood out but this pharmacist that comes weekly to do inventory & ordering of medications for our patients at work. I'm a RN. He's the quiet & good looking type. We became more acquianted to each other more & more at work. I have always noticed him before for a couple of years now but he's those type of people who doesn't initiate conversation. I've always thought he's good looking. I found myself looking forward to wednesdays when he's due to visit work. As far as I can tell he's happy to see me too. I enjoy talking & flirting with him.. As far as I know he knows I have family.. Now I find myself thinking about him constantly... I have become emotionally unavailable to my husband.. if u know what I mean.. I can't look at my husband without wishing he's my beloved pharmacist.. I think my husband can sense I am distant. Today he jokingly said he can smell someone else's aftershave on me. I can't get the pharmacist out of my mind.. He's good loking.. I love his eyes & voice.. He's young & trendy.. Just 3 yrs younger than me.. I'm 28..
I tried to be stand offish with the pharmacist when I last saw him.. I stayed quiet.. And it saddened me that he became sullen & unfriendly when he realised I was ignoring him.. He ignored me too which made me really upset.. Now I'm trying to work out how to make it up to him.. I realise I have too much to lose.. But the pharmacist is constantly in my mind.
What am I to do? I can't help myself? I think I need a harsh awakening... I'm racked with guilt because of my family & at the same time I'm yearning to be with my pharmacist.. I have no confidant... It's driving me crazy.. . Help!

[firmbeliever]

If you already know you have a good marriage and a good husband with kids, I cannot understand why you should even consider giving it all up for a man just because you think he is good looking.
Do you really think it is worth the sacrifice to give it all up on a whim that this man is going to make you happy.
And do keep in mind that 8 years is a long time for married couples, and all of it must be filled with memories of you and your family, these memories will not be easy to re make especially as it seems like you are considering an affair and not a committed relationship.

I would really like to say that you should talk to your husband and get the old flame roaring again,find something new for both of you to enjoy, maybe your husband needs to know that you think he needs to brush up his skills too, so that you two could reconnect again.
You must consider rejuvenating the marriage instead of running after a man you just met...

[lollipop1972]

In life, you will realize that the people you meet have a purpose. Some were put there to test you, some would teach you bring out out the better if not the best in u. Some may even cause you pain and heartache but you must learn to move on. So let go of the people who can't treat you right and hold on to those who really love you back and see your worth...

[lollipop1972]

Don't spoil what you have by desiring what you don't have. Rather, remember that what you have now was once among the things you used to hope for. May God enligthen you.

[Fr_Chuck]

You get what you sew in life, if you want a couple divorces, a string of lovers and unknown sexual diseases, follow the path you are about to go on. No one will ever satisfy every exact need or desire,

We marry for so much more than sex. If he had an accident tomorrow and could never have sex again, would you be out the door. If that answer is yes, then leave him let him have custody of the kids, because he deserves a much better wife than that.

[talaniman]

What am I to do? I can't help myself? I think I need a harsh awakening

Harsh awakening, huh?? How about losing your family, and all you've worked for. Is that harsh enough, Or maybe hurting the ones you love over... lust.
Its real simple as we all are attracted to others, and as long as no BOUNDARIES are crossed, then we can enjoy it for what it is, with no guilt or harm done.
As to your husband of 8years, if you put as much love and expression, into your marriage, as you do your fantasy, don't you think you could have a better relationship with him? Try it.

[MrsJoseph06]

I totally agree with everyone! What would you do if something happened to your husband? Like the Fr_Chuck said. Would you run? Come on you married this man for better or worse. Look at the kids do they deserve to have there family torn apart? All for a guy that you have the hots for. You need to take a good look at yourself and your family. Your husband loves you and you need to recipriacate that! Wake up!

[talaniman]

i'm in love with another man.

I doubt you could be in love with a guy you see once a week, that's called LUST.

[GlindaofOz]

You are willing to throw away 8 years of marriage for a fling with a pharmacist? You want to ruin your marriage and crush your husbands heart because you find someone hot? You've got to be kidding me lady. The only thing that is not satisfying in your marriage is how long sex lasts and this making you want to runaway? Lady you are out of your mind!

Why have you not talked to your husband about this. I guarantee you two could figure something out to make sex more satisfying for you. As great as husband sounds I'm sure in fact he'd make sure to figure something out.

[buggage]

You can't have a future with this man, and have your family. It just won't work. You will lose one or the other. You need to decide what's more important to you. A guy that you have flirty banter with once a week, or the man you have pledge to honor love and cherish through sickness and health, until the day you die. The man with whom you have brought amazing children into the world. Sacrificing not only the love of your husband and CONFIDANT(you said you have no confidant, but your husband should ALWAYS be your closest confidant. When that stops happening, you have problems that need to be solved) but also sacrificing the love and security of your children. And may I say, that any man that would knowingly begin a relationship with you, in this situation, is no man that any woman should ever want. What's to stop him from doing the same thing to you, that you are considering doing to your husband? Nothing.perhaps you are just a fling to him. A desperate housewife. Have you considered that perhaps he might have a family as well, and the others lives that you would be helping to destroy? You can't really know what this man is like, only meeting and talking with him once a week for a few minutes. You can't know what he is like on the inside. Dreamy on the outside, but perhaps a raging alcoholic, lots of stds and likes to give his women a good thrashing? You never know. Stop and think, and use some maturity. To me it sounds like you are more emotionally in this fantasy then he is. And that you are putting more work into this fantasy then you are with your family, where it should be. Its human nature to occasionally find yourself admiring others assets now and then. However, if you don't resist the temptations and stop them before they start, you will be in over your head, spiraling out of control. You say you have always thought yourself in love with your husband until recently. Have you ever considered that perhaps this is just a stage? Lack of sexual stamina is no reason to stray from the best things in your life. Have you considered the posibility that he might feel the same way sexually? And what you be feeling right now, if the shoes were switched, and your husband was the one having these feelings towards other women at his work?

[RubyPitbull]

Hello SweetNectarBabe. Interesting name you have chosen for yourself. Have you ever heard of "The Seven Year Itch?" Your timing is pretty much on target. This happens when we begin to take our lives, and the people in it, for granted. Extramarital affairs don't fix the problem, they just make our lives a heck of a lot more complicated. You stated that you think you need a harsh awakening, so I will gladly provide you with some things you need to think about which hopefully will make you wake up and get your head out of this erotic fantasy you have created for yourself.

Do you really think that this guy, at 25 years old, has a desire to marry you and is ready, willing and able to take over the role of step-father to your three children? Or haven't you thought that far ahead? If you haven't, you need to, and you need to understand that the reality of the situation is that this guy is 25 and he may enjoy speaking with you, but that may be all he wants from you, OR just maybe, he does want to knock boots with you, but doing THAT is all that he wants from you. You need to recognize and accept that if you choose to have a fling with this man, that is all it will be. Your sexual desire for this man isn't the basis for a long-lasting relationship. So, is a few fleeting moments of sexual satisfaction worth the very real possibility of losing your family over this man? Are you willing to give up the life you have worked so hard at building for yourself for 8 years? Do you want to be a divorced Mom of three struggling to pay the bills? Because that scenario is very much more likely the reality of what is in store for you, if you choose to act on this fantasy you have created for yourself.

Honey, you need to recognize that your marriage is in a rut and it is time to do something about it. Stop looking for someone outside of your marriage to give you a thrill, and start working on recapturing the love and desire you once had for your husband. There is a reason why you chose to marry your husband and not remain single. You need to think about what that reason was. Think about the vows you took to uphold when you married him. They don't include a stipulation that if you meet someone that is more appealing, you are allowed to simply abandon those vows. It really sounds like it is time for you to begin instituting a "date night" with your husband. You and your husband need to spend a romantic evening alone once a week. Find a babysitter for the kids. Get dressed up. Go out for a wonderful dinner. Rent a hotel room for a few hours, maybe get into some role playing to spice things up. Think about the things you both used to do together when you were single and dating, and just do it! You need to recapture the love and desire you once had for your husband.

[sweetnectarbabe]

I thank everyone for their advice.. I really appreciate all the responses/comments I received. I love my husband & my children.. I feel ashamed of even entertaining of betraying their trust & their love... I can't believe that I have become distracted.. Everyone is right I have sooo much to lose.. I can't believe I have let myself forget for even a moment about how much my family means to me. I am utterly regretful for my actions.. I will make up for this mistake for the rest of my life... Once again thank you all for helping.