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upsetmother · Aug 23, 2007, 11:23 AM

I have a 6 year old and her real father has been out of her life since she was 15 months old. I have remarried and since that time my husband has been taking care of her. I want her to take his last name but I am afarid the real father will get custody or visitation.He has never had to pay child support for her because he is on SSI. And I don't want his support he has not made any effort to come see her and I have never told him he that he can't either. But here is what get me he has another daughter that is 10 and he don't care for her either.Does not visit her or pays for her. Can I strip his rights and give my daughter my husband last name with out his consent or begin there in court. I live In North Carolina.

ScottGem · Aug 23, 2007, 11:27 AM

If you read the many other threads here on the issue of terminating parental rights, you will see that the answer is probably no. It is extremely hard to "strip" someone's parental rights without their consent. You NEED to consult an attorney, who can prepare for your husband to adopt your child and guide you through the process.

macksmom · Aug 23, 2007, 12:11 PM

You can petition to have his rights terminated from being absent. In Ohio it is 6 months of no contact and no support and you have a case. But you will not get out of court, and if he at that time speaks up and shows interest, most likely they won't terminate his rights. This is all assuming your husband is willing to adopt your daughter and take on legal and financial responsibility. If you choose not to go to court, you cannot change the child's last name without the fathers consent, regardless of his involvement.

upsetmother · Aug 23, 2007, 09:19 PM

Originally Posted by upsetmother

I have a 6 year old and her real father has been out of her life since she was 15 months old. I have remarried and since that time my husband has been taking care of her. I want her to take his last name but I am afarid the real father will get custody or visitation.He has never had to pay child support for her because he is on SSI. And I don't want his support he has not made any effort to come see her and I have never told him he that he can't either. But here is what get me he has another daughter that is 10 and he don't care for her either.Does not visit her or pays for her. Can I strip his rights and give my daughter my husband last name with out his consent or begin there in court. I live In North Carolina.

Maybe so but me and my husband is planning to move to Alabama. How will that work with his rights. Do I still have to come back to NC or can I do it there in Alabama.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 23, 2007, 09:52 PM

Check with Alabama law, in many cases you can file there after living there for a number of years.

Also just to be careful what does the child custody agreement say about movement out of state? Would not want you to end up finding yourself in contempt of court for moving out of state either.

But each state has their own rules on taking away rights, he will be notified and given a chance to file counter motions and defned his position. It will never be a sure thing.

macksmom · Aug 24, 2007, 07:10 AM

You moving may cause many problems... if you don't do it legally... was you and your child's father married? Are there any custody agreements? If so, you need his permission to move out of the state. Also, in Ohio, you have to live in a particular county for 12 months before you can file a name change... even then you would still have to get the bio fathers consent.

Moving out of state has no bearings on his right as a father.

MOWERMAN2468 · Aug 25, 2007, 05:17 AM

Originally Posted by upsetmother

Maybe so but me and my husband is planning to move to Alabama. How will that work with his rights. Do I still have to come back to NC or can I do it there in Alabama.

Be careful about moving to another state without this being at least started in the court system, this could make it get awful nasty. Re: to remove one's child from the state of residence. Get an attorney, petition the courts, and chances are he will not even show up to the hearing, then the judge "should" terminate his rights, and may can even do the adoption to your new husband immediately after. When we adopted our first two children, it took all of about ten minutes tops, this was the attorney's opening statements, the judges discussion, then the judge's ruling. One, two, three and we were done. That quick and simple.