[lostlove2]

I will never give up. I know he loves me and he will be back. His memories are as good as mine are and that will bring him back. Just watch and see.

[GlindaofOz]

That doesn't really seem fair to you, does it? He left and is with someone else and you plan on sitting around waiting for him to come back. How long do you plan to wait? Do you really think this person is worth wasting your life away for?

He may come back or he may not. But the behavior you are describing is incredibly unhealthy and sounds slightly obsessive.

[DazzaB]

Look lady, I'm in the same situation as you. My girlfriend just threw everything we had away as she said she doesn't feel the same... Now I know that she loves me, even though she won't admit it.. but I realise she didn't love me the way I loved her.

I know it's hard.. but get on with your life. He isn't going to come back to you if you're still thinking like this.. get on with your life.. date other people and maybe he'll come back to you when he's realises that he does miss the times you had.

[lostlove2]

That doesn't really seem fair to you, does it? He left and is with someone else and you plan on sitting around waiting for him to come back. How long do you plan to wait? Do you really think this person is worth wasting your life away for?

He may come back or he may not. But the behavior you are describing is incredibly unhealthy and sounds slightly obsessive.

No not obsessive I'm just sure he loves me. I'm not waiting around I go out with friends and have fun. I spend lots of time with my family going to movies and stuff and I keep busy. I just know that a love like ours can survive this. And yes he is worth it. We had lots of years together. I think everyone is entitled to make one mistake.

[GlindaofOz]

But he left you for another. Would you want someone back he carelessly tossed aside your long relationship for what you are calling a fling? I don't think that's fair to you at all.

[lostlove2]

Look lady, I'm in the same situation as you. My girlfriend just threw everything we had away as she said she doesn't feel the same... Now I know that she loves me, even though she won't admit it.. but I realise she didn't love me the way I loved her.

I know it's hard.. but get on with your life. He isn't going to come back to you if you're still thinking like this.. get on with your life.. date other people and maybe he'll come back to you when he's realises that he does miss the times you had.

Thanks DazzaB, finally someone that's not completely negative. You're right he may or may not come back but I think he will. He is a very sensitive soul and I think that memories will have a very profound effect on him.

[DazzaB]

Yes, but please, please don't contact him. Go and see other men and try to forget about him. When he sees that you've moved on, he'll start to realise he misses you and may come back and see if you want to give the relationship another go.

If he doesn't come back, at least you'll be over him. You're young, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

[lostlove2]

But he left you for another. Would you want someone back he carelessly tossed aside your long relationship for what you are calling a fling? I don't think thats fair to you at all.

I don't think its fair to me either Glinda, but I once cheated in a different relationship on someone I really loved. I was young and it was a long term relationship. He never forgave me and it took me over a year to get over him. I still do not know to this day why I thought I wanted someone else back then but I made a mistake. People do that sometimes. Make mistakes I mean

[lostlove2]

Yes, but please, please don't contact him. Go and see other men and try to forget about him. When he sees that you've moved on, he'll start to realise he misses you and may come back and see if you want to give the relationship another go.

If he doesn't come back, at least you'll be over him. You're young, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

I don't contact him DazzaB I love him enough to give him space and time to figure this out without bugging him

[Ash123]

When you all work it out let us know... In the meantime, it may speed up his love cycle if you find another...

[GlindaofOz]

I don't think its fair to me either Glinda, but I once cheated in a different relationship on someone I really loved. I was young and it was a long term relationship. He never forgave me and it took me over a year to get over him. I still do not know to this day why I thought I wanted someone else back then but I made a mistake. People do that sometimes. Make mistakes i mean

I think that you need to have parameters for yourself with this. How long could you imagine waiting for him? 6 months? 1 year? I would think of it as possibly missing out on someone great who could come into your life. I think you should date and have fun with other guys to at least keep your options open.

[kp2171]

Only time will tell.

People who are "sensitive souls" and who have fond memories can still leave and be gone for good.

Doesn't mean you can't wait a bit. Doesn't mean you shouldn't. But you know there will be a point when its going to have to change, or all you are doing is holding back.

Scour the threads here for people in love with a person from years back... none of then ever thought "maybe if i just wait another few years for them..." you can put yourself in a holding pattern waiting, and it might seem comforting in a way...

Again, time will tell. Only you can figure out how long to hold back.

[lostlove2]

I think that you need to have parameters for yourself with this. How long could you imagine waiting for him? 6 months? 1 year? I would think of it as possibly missing out on someone great who could come into your life. I think you should date and have fun with other guys to at least keep your options open.

I'm not sitting here pineing away for him and I am willing to date casually but if he comes back and wants my forgiveness I will most likely do so because I've been there years ago and I needed forgiveness. I made a mistake and I was truly sorry for what I had done. If you love someone you owe them one chance to make it right. If the one I cheated on would have giving me that chance we would maybe still be together.

[lostlove2]

only time will tell.

people who are "sensitive souls" and who have fond memories can still leave and be gone for good.

doesnt mean you can't wait a bit. doesnt mean you shouldnt. but you know theyll be a point when its going to have to change, or all you are doing is holding back.

scour the threads here for people in love with a person from years back... none of then ever thought "maybe if i just wait another few years for them..." you can put yourself in a holding pattern waiting, and it might seem comforting in a way...

again, time will tell. only you can figure out how long to hold back.

I think I'm handling this the right way. For one I let him go to find his way. For two I haven't contacted him so he has time and space to miss what we had. I want him to come back because he wants to not because I begged him or guilt tripped him into it. And three I think forgiveness is the right thing to do if someone is truly sorry for something.

[GlindaofOz]

It sounds as if you have your wits about you in this situation. Which is quite an accomplishment around here :)

I wish you the best of luck and I most certainly hope that you are right.

[lostlove2]

When you all work it out let us know....In the meantime, it may speed up his love cycle if you find another...

I think that's probably true Ash but the thing I wonder is how he'll know that I'm dating. I mean I'm not going to date someone to bring him back but I would like him to know that I'm a strong enough person to move on and date and so he doesn't think I'm just waiting for him.

[lostlove2]

It sounds as if you have your wits about you in this situation. Which is quite an accomplishment around here :)

I wish you the best of luck and I most certainly hope that you are right.

I hope I''m right too Glinda. The only think I know is I have to let him work it out on his own. I can't do this for him

[nicespringgirl]

What is your question then?
Why do you ask us if you are so firm about it?

[Ash123]

I'm glad you have a goal and just relax and see how it goes.

As for the odds of your relationship going the distance -
Here's a rough questionnaire to consider: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ou-121409.html

[liddlebabygrl123]

your wasting you time waiting your "mr. right" who would never leave you couldve passed you buy and ur sitting around wating for someone who obiviously didnt care about u that much cause he left you:eek: the sooner you realize he left you and doesnt care that much even tho u think he does. hes a real jerk u love him and he doesnt take that into consideration,obviously.seriously find someone new even if i takes a while and ull look back and realize wen he never calls u again wat and he was for leaving you wen u cared about him. move on and don't listen to that oh maybye hell come bak that's just going to make you cry more when you hear elliot yamin. You need to listin to, I will love again or irreplaceable and move on even though its going to take awhile and its going to suck that happens sometimes in love.

giving him space? do you know wat hes doing while ur giving him space? hes snooping around for wat else is out there.and if he doesnt find it he might come bak. wen he said u needed to brake up it wasnt cause he needed space or he had problems it was cause he was ending the relationship with you. everyone deserves somone that wont put them throu wat ur going thro now.bevlive me ive learned the hard way.