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    marcus83's Avatar
    marcus83 Posts: 48, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Aug 18, 2007, 11:34 AM
    How can she date knowing it kills me
    She's dating, knowing it kills me and still wants to be my friend? We broke up and she knows I'm still in love & want her back. Is she cruel or am I just weird for finding this to be cruel?
    hettie's Avatar
    hettie Posts: 71, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Aug 18, 2007, 01:42 PM
    I know EXACTLY how you feelmy ex is seeing someone else now after only being away fromme for 4 months, now to be fair he left me so he was obviously over me before he left if you get what imean. Wedid remain friends upumtill he met this woman and I feel asif he knows how bad it makes me feel yet he still sees her therefore he doesn't give a **** aboutmy feelings.However this isn't really the case it is just simply that he has moved on OK somaybe he doesn't care anymore I don't know he never ignores me if he sees me and accepts my calls if/when I call.What I guess Iam trying to say s we can't exactly expect them to put their lives on hold until we are over them.I know for myself I am not ready to get involved with anyone else yet and I feel really crappy that he is but that's life I guess.All we can do is take our time grieve foe our lost relationships and hopefully recover welland do better next time, but I certainly don'tthink your weird , would think you were weirder if you didn't feel a bit like this.Take care and good luck in the future
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Aug 18, 2007, 01:49 PM
    I think you care more than she did, and starting to date is the first step to moving on. She is free of course to date and the "lets be freinds" is a nice way of saying move on and leave me alone.
    Dennis777's Avatar
    Dennis777 Posts: 478, Reputation: 124
    Full Member
     
    #4

    Aug 18, 2007, 01:55 PM
    Hello.

    I know its hard but you have to let go. She is starting a new life and now its time for you to do the same.

    Dennis777
    marcus83's Avatar
    marcus83 Posts: 48, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Aug 18, 2007, 01:59 PM
    A nice way of move on and leave me alone? She will call me, its weird! She said she really does want to be friends with me... she said I was her first real relationship, anr told me she was in love with me. I broke up with her for 3 hours three times... and then the space started, she got over me like I was her 10th relationship. I feel so slighted.. I tell her everyone says its impossible to be just friends with someone you're in love with and she says " I dont care what everyone says" we can be friends or nothing.

    Like she's on a pedestal, beating me emotionally. Giving me dry "friendship" when she knows she could give me so much more... and make me the happiest person in the world
    Zell's Avatar
    Zell Posts: 57, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Aug 18, 2007, 02:34 PM
    It seems like a lot of people have this kind of problem on this site, (Im one of them =) )
    Dude its hard I know but you have to cut this woman out of your life, you don't deserve to treated like this, no one does.
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Aug 18, 2007, 05:36 PM
    Marcus - NO CONTACT.

    You need to stop talking to her and stop right now. You will never get over her if you keep this up. NEVER. She will continue on with her life, fall in love, get married all the while you will sit around in a darkened room pining over someone who could care less about how you feel.

    She can date simply because she does not love you anymore nor does she care about how you feel. You know I'm being hard here because you need it.

    I told you my whole story of what I went through with my ex and none of it sunk in. I sat around crying over someone for way too long who was out living his life. Is that fair? Is it? Why are you not worth living your life and she is worth living hers? It's been 6 months. You should be over her by now and you would be if you had gone no contact.

    You are doing yourself a huge disservice by keeping her in your life. You need to get over her and heal and THEN decide if you want to stay her friend.
    ForeverZero's Avatar
    ForeverZero Posts: 312, Reputation: 82
    Full Member
     
    #8

    Aug 18, 2007, 06:23 PM
    As a general statement, the "lets be friends" statement is a polite way of saying that you two can be friendly, but not friends. The kind of friends I am with my ex girlfriends is the kind of friends that never talk to or see each other, but if circumstances create a need to, we can be civil. Try not to take it personally.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Aug 18, 2007, 06:26 PM
    You will never get control of your life, till you start moving on.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Aug 18, 2007, 08:08 PM
    giving me dry "friendship" when she knows she could give me so much more... and make me the happiest person in the world
    She doesn't feel that way about you so do yourself a favor and get on with your life and accept her feelings have changed. I feel your hurt, and know its hard, but time will ease the pain. We have all been through it. Some of us, many times
    LUK3Y's Avatar
    LUK3Y Posts: 55, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Aug 18, 2007, 09:07 PM
    NO CONTACT... focus on yourself and what makes you happy. You stay friends with her while she is dating and you are only going to dig a deeper grave for yourself as you obviously have strong feelings for her still. Let go of it while you can and act on your own life NOW. :)

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