[J_9]

Rayne dear,

When you look at it from our perspective... all of these are excuses for staying at home and not doing anything. I don't mean to sound rude, you know me, I say it as I see it.

The Federal Pell Grant will pay ALL of your tuition if you qualify, I do and I certainly make more money than you do.

There are resources out there, you have to use them for them to work for you.

[Megg]

Well this grant, where do I apply? I'll apply oce my Ged is taken care of.

[J_9]

Here is a website that describes it all. It can be a little confusing, so read it slowly and carefully, but this is where I apply online every spring.

Online Financial Aid Services

[talaniman]

You have a computor so you can take classes on line and apply for tuition help at the college. Get that GED and get the fingers busy. There is also trade or technical schools that upon completion give you job seeking services You have a lot more options than you think so get that GED. If you need help I can guide you through the process.

[J_9]

I can't help with the process of the GED, but I can help with any other financial aid process or college/tech school admissions process.

If you don't have transportation many colleges have online courses that count just like being there in person.

Ray, look how far you have come since you first started here!! You can do this, we can help.

[Wondergirl]

Ray, I'll be your very own personal librarian if you give this a try.

[Megg]

Well if I went to any school it'd be for art or something. I like art, but I honestly don't think I am any good. Art is tough to do online, and some of these courses need special items that have to be bought. Now I'm more of a hands on person. I'd rather be in a calss, but as is, it might be tough to get that. And I'm still not sure I even want to go to college, not everyone does. I'm more focused on this Ged at the moment. But ty for all the advice.

[nicespringgirl]

Yes, like eveyone else said, build yourself a solid foundation when you are young, It's quite hard when you get older, having kids, family all that. School is very important, thinking in long run please. :)

[letmetellu]

In marriage like in life you give up things to get the things you want more. If you are not eat up with the desire to have more and make more than your friends or neighbors you can give up the higher paying job for something that pays less but gives you and your guy more time to do the things that you would like to do. But the average person is just not ready to do that now days. They want to work harder to have more and after a few years of this they find out they got everything they every wanted... except each other.

[Megg]

Yea I've been thinking, and I can be a bit whiny and complainy when he ignores me for more then a few hours. Im not sure how to just not care, and go about my own thing so I don't make him mad. For instance yesterday we watched a movie (I didn't pick) but after until bedtime, he went off an did his own thing. Surfing the net and stuff. I played a game for like 2 hrs then tried to talk to him and he tells me to shutup. I wait an hour or so again same thing, then I get mad an tell him I'm tired of him ignorning me. An we get into a little argument. So I go back to doing nothing until its bedtime and by then he wants to sleep. It's just anoying, its like he makes himself busy just so he doesn't need to hangout with me, then he tells me that if I'd leave him alone until he's done he'd be fine. Well heck if I did that, id never talk to him.. . I don't know what to do about this prob. But its making him angry at me what I don't want. Last night he said before bed he's tired of my complants and whinning. I don't think I'm that bad, and if I am I think he brings it on himself. Any advice on what to do? Should I just stop caring and settle for a retarded relationship, with no converstaion, no anything? It's like lately all he cares about is the stupid 350Z he wants to get.. . all he does, says and reads is based on that dumb car. Why are men so dumb sometimes? No offense.

[talaniman]

Hi Rayne, I think for two people to work on the same page they both must be mature enough to to be independent, and able to express their wants, and needs to each other in a non threatening, non confrontational way. That has to begin with and individuals knowing themselves, and what they want over a period. From what you have written, you put far too much on your husbands attentions, at this time, and the lack of other outlets or interests on your part, have made you dependent on him for any human interactions. Not all your fault at all, as he seems to ignore the fact that you are alone a great deal of time, and need his input and attentions to balance that loneliness you must feel. Not good on his part. You both are young and inexperienced, in the ways of man and woman working and talking together. I think you must show patience, and be more thoughtful as to when you talk to your man, and what and how you say it. Another thing that is so important is your ability to get what you need to be happy without him. Identify and plan how best you can get what you want, is indeed an empowering action on your part, and will also Let you learn your strengths and weaknesses, and define your goals, and expectations of yourself. You've noticed everything I've said is about you and improving your personal strength as I believe that's where it starts, in a relationship. Your husband is hard working and maybe a great guy but he is young and immature to your needs, and will need a lot of time and love to grow into his own manhood, and if he seems short or non caring, its not personnel ,but he just doesn't know himself, or his role that well yet. Many of us young guys falls in to the category of dumb to the needs of our mates but over time we learn, and today after 33 years my wife almost has me house broken. It is a long process, that take a lot of time and work to get to and can't be rushed. The key is to pick your battles carefully, and give a lot of thought as to the methods and language, you present to him. During a movie when he is relaxed, is a better time to talk than when his attention is wrapped up on something, for example. Suggesting a movie, is better than telling him you don't like his selections. Didn't mean to ramble on, just wanted you to know that you have more power than you give yourself credit for you, you just have to know where it is, and how to use it. Good Luck.

[J_9]

Tal, you are perfectly spot on again. Now, would your advice change at all if they were not married? They aren't by the way. They have only been together for 3 years, not married yet, but engaged at this point.