[cyrenasworld]

Title was supposed to be we Can't prosecute a child predator, sorry very upset

My daughter, now 12, just told me in January that she was being molested by my ex-fiance when she was 6! Our justice systems says that even though her story is airtight, there has to be a confession from the abuse (hello.. I haven't spoken to the slug in 5 years or more) or physical evidence. There are neither so we can't prosecute. The hurt and anger that I feel right now is devastating. I have to talk myself out of doing terrible things to him every day. I told the D.A not to be surprised if she ended up prosecuting me for what I've done to him instead!

This hole in the justice system is sending a message loud and clear to child predators; "Small children are fair game as long as you dont leave behind any evidence"

The truth is it takes these children many years for their little brains to grow and be able to process what happened to them. It may take even longer before they tell because of the fear and shame.

The D.A's response to my desperate pleas, "We believe her 100% but it's her word against his"

You're probably thinking "what about her daughter" , she's a phoenix from the ashes. A straight A student (no exaggeration) very into soccor and cheerleading, plays the flute and is very artistically talented. DOES NOT want counseling. My couselor says don't force her just watch for warning signs.

This really isn't a question, just kind of sounding off. I need some help to hang on.:confused:

[GlindaofOz]

Oh My. That is horrible. I don't even know what to say. I find it appalling that this man gets to walk off free and easy after harming your little girl like that.

I suppose the only words of support I can provide is that for pedophiles it's a compulsion. Rest assured he will do it again and will be caught. The universe has a way of balancing things like this out.

I just can't imagine that there isn't something you can do. Can't you press charges for assault or something? There has to be a way.

What state are you in?

[ScottGem]

While I totally sympathize with your anger and frustration. I have to try and look at it from both sides. Our judicial system is founded on the principle of innocent until PROVEN guilty. The people who created and maintain our system generally believe that its better to let a guilty person go free then send an innocent person to jail (P.S. to excon, I said GENERALLY).

With child molesters, I believe there needs to be even greater care, because even a false accusation can taint a person's life forever.

It appears your daughter has weathered through this storm, and I suggest you take a page from her book and put it behind you.

What I suggest you do to console yourself is to understand that this person is now at least in the police radar. That if he is truly a predator, he will strike again and this time the police may be able to prosecute.

[cyrenasworld]

Oh My. That is horrible. I don't even know what to say. I find it appalling that this man gets to walk off free and easy after harming your little girl like that.

I suppose the only words of support I can provide is that for pedophiles its a compulsion. Rest assured he will do it again and will be caught. the universe has a way of balancing things like this out.

I just can't imagine that there isn't something you can do. Can't you press charges for assault or something? There has to be a way.

What state are you in?

Hi GLinda. Im in NY. Here's another sad thing, the predator lives with a women now and they have two small boys (his OWN children, my daughter is not his).I see the women in wal-mart and she knows of the accusations I'm sure and she HAS to know it's me. I try to say things like "dont leave your kids alone with him ..not for one second" and she must be in sheer, foolish, dangerous denial. Ive told the prosecutors that we, my daughter and myself, would be willing to submitt to a lie detector or voice stress detection test to prove we are telling the truth but they won't do it as it is insubmissable.

[cyrenasworld]

While I totally sympathize with your anger and frustration. I have to try and look at it from both sides. Our judicial system is founded on the principle of innocent until PROVEN guilty. The people who created and maintain our system generally believe that its better to let a guilty person go free then send an innocent person to jail (P.S. to excon, I said GENERALLY).

With child molesters, I believe there needs to be even greater care, because even a false accusation can taint a person's life forever.

it appears your daughter has weathered thru this storm, and I suggest you take a page from her book and put it behind you.

What I suggest you do to console yourself is to understand that this person is now at least in the police radar. That if he is truly a predator, he will strike again and this time the police may be able to prosecute.

Scottgem, very sound advise and I appreciate it. I do find some comfort in knowing that even if not convicted, I think parents would think twice about having there children around an accused child molester. With all of the advances in technology and basic psychology, the same tools that can be used to convict a predator can be used to prove them innocent don't you agree? Why not give us a chance,even if we fail? That's all I want is a chance!

[mountain_man]

Title was supposed to be we Can't prosecute a child predator, sorry very upset

My daughter, now 12, just told me in January that she was being molested by my ex-fiance when she was 6! Our justice systems says that even though her story is airtight, there has to be a confession from the abuse (hello..I havent spoken to the slug in 5 years or more) or physical evidence. There are neither so we can't prosecute. The hurt and anger that I feel right now is devastating. I have to talk myself out of doing terrible things to him every day. I told the D.A not to be surprised if she ended up prosecuting me for what ive done to him instead!

This hole in the justice system is sending a message loud and clear to child predators; "Small children are fair game as long as you dont leave behind any evidence"

The truth is it takes these children many years for their little brains to grow and be able to process what happened to them. It may take even longer before they tell because of the fear and shame.

The D.A's responce to my desperate pleas, "We believe her 100% but it's her word against his"

You're probably thinking "what about her daughter" , she's a phoenix from the ashes. A straight A student (no exaggeration) very into soccor and cheerleading, plays the flute and is very artistically talented. DOES NOT want couseling. My couselor says dont force her just watch for warning signs.

This really isnt a question, just kind of sounding off. I need some help to hang on.:confused:

Have you filed a police report? Have you tried another DA or went to the Chief DA?

Here is comments on the statute of limitations in NY for sex offenses... you may want to research this...

"For certain defined sexual crimes against minors, the SOL does not begin to run until the child is 18 or the offense is reported to a law enforcement agency. N.Y. Crim. Proc. Law § 30.10.3(f). For instance, the SOL for sexual assault in the 1st & 2nd degree is 5 years (§30.10.3(e), which period will not start to run until age 18 if the conditions set forth in § 30.10 are met"

[ScottGem]

Scottgem, very sound advise and I appreciate it. I do find some comfort in knowing that even if not convicted, I think parents would think twice about having there children around an accused child molester. With all of the advances in technology and basic psychology, the same tools that can be used to convict a predator can be used to prove them innocent dont you agree? Why not give us a chance,even if we fail?? thats all I want is a chance!

No actually I don't agree. The only real way innocence can be proven in such a case, is impeaching the witness. And that's not always easy and can be devasting to the child. But once the accusation is made, unless it can be disproven without a doubt, the stigma will remain.

There was a case in NY recently where a child accused a school janitor of molestation. This janitor had worked at the school for a long time without a hint, but he had his named dragged through the papers. He was fortunate in that the child's story was totally discredited, but to her detriment. But there are many other cases where the accused has to move and even change their names to start a new life event though found not guilty.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will say as a police officer and investigator I have often got so mad at people we "knew" was guilty but because of a confession thrown out, or witnesses that would not show up and so much more people would not be held or found not guilty.

But then it is not right to have people who are not guilty behind bars either, so a certain level of evidence is required.