[tikkigal7]

Not sure how to begin, but I am really frustrated with my husbands 2 children. I have always try to step back and let my husband & his ex wife be the displinaries. We have his children 50/50. His children are 15 and 18 and recently my husband started traveling Mon-Fri. So therefore the weeks the children are at our home I am the one responsible. The children are so disrespectful, they NEVER say thank you or pick up after themselves. When I tell my husband something they have done it's like he is so tired & just doesn't want to be bothered. For instance the 18 yr old is allowed to come & go whenever he pleases when he is over at his mothers, but when he comes over to our home his father gives him a curfew & he rebells & won't call to let us know he will be late. I don't think we are being unreasonable to have a curfew at midnight? Then when he doesn't come home he will eventually have his mother call & tell us he is not coming home he is going to stay over at her house. The youngest is constantly calling from school saying he is sick when he truly is not, but everyone caters to him and then he is allowed to stay home and play games all day. My husbands family & ex wife are always calling me to vent about the kids or wanting me to pick the youngest up from school, but never give the children any consequenses. They constantly threaten them with the "NEXT TIME" syndrom, but you know how that story goes. I just was not raised that way. For instant I told the youngest recently if he was going to have something to drink outside of the kitchen it would need to be water and he got all mad and told me it was just like boot camp in the house. Yet the youngest is always wanting to stay our house because he doesn't like being over at his mothers. I try to let this anger go, but it's really becoming harder & harder and I realize they are children & some of this is typical, but I can't deal with the crap.

Frustrated.

[LearningAsIGo]

Your husband and ex need to sit down with the kids and tell them that since you're the adult in charge (especially now that his schedule has changed) you MUST be respected as the parent.

It'll be difficult because of their ages and possibly not having this reinforced before. Its going to be hard on everyone because it sounds like each household is run very differently and even at 15 and 18 that can be hard to manage.

Since hubby gets tired and doesn't want to hear you tell him what kids have done... try a new approach. Instead of saying "Joe didn't keep curfew today, he talked too much on the phone, he took juice into the living room, ..etc."
Try: "Honey, I know you're tired, but I'm having a hard time and I need your help. There have been issues with the kids behavior and I need you to sit down with the kids and I so we can work thru this as a family." If he's out of town and you feel comfortable enough with their mother, you could say the same to her.

Good luck to you :)