[AmethystAngel]

Don't think I'm a terrible person but I recently found out that my best friend is pregnant, and I really don't think that she should have this baby. Her and her boyfriend have been together for a few years and have been in this situation before, but because of the kind of lifestyle she leads she miscarried. Both her and her boyfriend do drugs quite regularly, she drinks every weekend and smokes like a chimney. I know it sounds mean but I don't even think she is really in love with her boyfriend, I know she loves him but I can't believe it's a forever thing for her because they have broken up more times than I can count, also she has had so many boyfriends that she has loved but she has cheated on every single one, Don't get me wrong I love my friend and I have stuck by her on every occasion, even when she really did deserve to get head kicked in, but I kept my mouth shut cause she was only hurting herself. I would be the first person to admit that later down the track when she as grown up a bit more she would be a excellent mother. But this time I just can't stand by and let her do this to an child that has no choice in the matter, I mean she can't even take care of herself. They couldn't even support a child money wise because neither of them have good jobs. And I really don't think she really understands what she is getting into, every time I see her with a baby its like the child is a doll rather than a person. I'm worried for her as well, she once slit her wrists in my bathroom over a boy who didn't want to go out with her, imagine the stress a baby would put on her. I need to know if I should try and convince her to not go through with the pregnancy or if it is even any of my business or my place to say anything as its not my decision. But I do feel a slight moral obligation as I don't think its fair. PLEASE someone help me out here, if I'm wrong about it all tell me, if I'm right help me know what to say to her. PLEASE anything anyone has to say will be very helpful. Sorry that was so long.

[Michelle0410]

How old is this girl? Having a baby is a huge responsibility and doing drugs while pregnant will not only harm her it will endanger the baby. Is there someone that you can talk to tha is related to the girl? Unfortunately there is nothing that you can do, you can try to talk to her and be a good griend, but if someone has there made up on how they want to live their life, there is usually nothing someone can do to make them change. All you can do is be there for her. The reason I asked how old she was, if she is underage where are her parents? Maybe you could try to talk your friend into getting some pycological help. Offer to go with her and be there for her. It is not fair to put a baby through something like that, she as a mother to be should be more considerate and you are going to have to explain that to her, again and again, BE SUPPORTIVE tell her you believe in her, you would be surprised what motivation can do for someone, get as many people that are close to her involved, both sides of the family!

[LearningAsIGo]

First, she's lucky to have a friend that cares this much about her. Since she has this type of lifestyle, she probably doesn't see (or care) how destructive it is. Does she have any parents you can contact about helping her? I would recommend trying to get her into a AA program, planned parenthood, or even stage an intervention.

You'll have to try and gently guide her in the right direction. If you're forceful, or tell her she shouldn't have the baby... I dread to think what she might do in response.

Ultimately, as her friend, the most you can do is try and support her and show her that you care about her future and that of her baby.

GOOD LUCK!

[sacha]

As a concerned friend, u should let her know how u feel

[AmethystAngel]

She is 19, I know that's an adult legally but its obvious she still has some growing up to do. Not just to get over all the 'hard' partying but also to figure out herself, as corny as that sounds. She doesn't have any actual family here, but I care so much because she is like family to me. She's always been like my little sister. I guess that's why I'm so worried. Thanks for the advice, I was always going to support her which ever way this turned out, I do realise that this could be the thing she needs to turn her life around, and because its going to be hard for her I'm just scared that the pressure will get to her and something bad will happen to her and her baby. But thanks again everyone.

[bumble30405]

It's nice to see you care about your friend so much. But if she wants to keep the baby she probably will keep it no matter what anyone else says. The only thing you can do is tell her how you feel and try and guide her to do the right thing for her unborn child.

I hope it all works out for you & your friend.