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Fr_Chuck · Nov 16, 2005, 04:40 PM

There is no such thing as a perfect girl, or guy. IF she was perfect think about it, are any of us, worthy of someone who is perfect?

We all have things we do and don't do that another person is going to hate at times. There has to be, so that there can be some low level of conflict within a relationship. We all have to have this to keep a relationship intersting and active.

And all relationships have to grow.

Now I am not sure exactly the ages you are talking about for her and you right now, you are 20 now? Not when you started. She is now 16 ?

If so that is in itself part of the issue, during the 14 to 18 year old stages people are still kids, growing and changing.

Add to that possible abuse issues and that is totally a problem situation.

Now you "love" her, but are you IN LOVE with her. A person who is truly in love will see what a real problem is, and will then work to solve the problem.

Is there still abuse at her home, if so something needs to be done, even if there is not current abuse, the previous abuse should be reported,
Next she needs counseling to come to grips with her emotional and sexual issues.

Love will go to all limits to make it work.

letmeno · Nov 16, 2005, 04:56 PM

"A person who is truly in love will see what a real problem is... I was shot down for suggesting this, thank you! Although when a person is indeed hurt, it is always hard to look past our own pain, but as I said before, there is two sides to every story.

talaniman · Nov 16, 2005, 11:28 PM

Being friends with someone that's nuts is a lot different than being in love with a nut.with the age and experience difference I'd be wary of spending time around a NUT.Take a long vacation from this situation and bask in some healthy reality with some healthy people, in a healthy environment... you get the picture.When you look back, that love might have been pity or another strong emotion you mistook for love.Physical attraction fool us all but they usually don't stay intense for long.Give yourself a chance to sort this through before you make a commitment. :cool:

thomas27 · Nov 16, 2005, 11:56 PM

You are right I need to "take a long vacation" stay away for a while... if its meant to be... well time will tell. Everyone... thanks for the advice.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 17, 2005, 03:29 PM

I was in love long ago, with a wonder girl, well wonderful if she was not using drugs, drinking, and decided one night to dance on top of my car roof (not made for dancing)

In her case, I tried to help her and stay with her, and for those we really love we have to keep tyring to make it work. We were off and on for several years. Sadly I had to move on, and had a lot to learn the hard way over many years.

The Girl, did finally get help and now is mature, married with a wonderful family. As with many people who go from one addition to another, she is now addicted to religion to a point,

Not that religion is a bad thing, but life needs to be balanced, she has some growing to do still but is on the right track.

As with this girl, she needs to first come to deal with who she is and be happy with herself and not try to find happiness from what others think of her. But again, many today need to do that.

talaniman · Nov 17, 2005, 08:17 PM

Not that religion is a bad thing, but life needs to be balanced, she has some growing to do still but is on the right track.

She is lucky you cared enough to let her grow,that's love. :cool:

emohater · Apr 19, 2007, 03:40 PM

I agree who ever said leave her, put it this way. She lied a million times and possibly she even might have a boy friend. So lets say you guys are boyfriend and girl friend. Well in at least a year you will find out that she is cheating on you then the same thing will happen again she will say sorry, try to get back together, and in a while, she will cheat on you again it's a cycle, that's all I have to say.