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GlindaofOz · Aug 9, 2007, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by Ash123

Rent "swingers" and if time get out of town (the brain thinks differently in new places).

The incomparable advice of T will pull you through this ;)

Flyguy1784 · Aug 9, 2007, 02:13 PM

We are both 23 she is working for a relocation agency and I am working for Northwest Airlines in the flight operations department.

Ash123 · Aug 9, 2007, 02:20 PM

Swingers... T?
I think I know what you were sayin' G :-)

-----
Anyway FlyGuy, you are both young... and finding yourselves. Let her know that you are finding YOURSELF.

Trust the process of time and healing... And just take your hands off the wheel...

Flyguy1784 · Aug 9, 2007, 02:24 PM

Yeah I have been doing very well with taking my hands of the wheel this was just a bump I didn't think was coming because I have been looking at our relationship as over. I know I have no control she is the one that wanted to break up so I don't think I am going to respond at all I am going to just keep moving forward and live for me.

Ash123 · Aug 9, 2007, 02:45 PM

Honestly, I think you are in a fine position. Move on...

My guess: she will circle back... especially if you are her first, IF you were cordial and made it clear why you are keeping quiet for now.

Flyguy1784 · Aug 9, 2007, 04:51 PM

Yeah the last time we talked she told me that there is no "us" right now and she just wants her space. So I responded with OK there is no "us" so that means I need to move on and in order to do that I can not contact you and then I said you can't contact me like this you can't just call to talk I can't handle that. So she knows why I am doing this just strange she tells me she wants me out of her life then when I start taking her out of mine... freak out!

Ash123 · Aug 9, 2007, 08:23 PM

She loves you dawg' -
Bummer for you. Bummer for her.

She's just trying to make some big decisions... She needs 100% unconditional (and frankly, irrational and impossible) love... She wants you to love her whether she's gone or not and to have her cake and eat it too. She's not being mean, just awakening to the realities of life. Bummer... You've done all you can do. About the time you are waking up to see some girl's toothbrush in your bathroom - you'll probably get an email.

Flyguy1784 · Aug 9, 2007, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by Ash123

She loves ya dawg' -
About the time you are waking up to see some girl's toothbrush in your bathroom - you'll probably get an email.

Great point... it is hard to think about right now but seems so true. I can't keep these feelings for her if she isn't going to show me her feelings the longer this goes on the more I put them away into a hidden box in the back of my mind.

Flyguy1784 · Aug 11, 2007, 07:24 AM

So funny story went out on the town last night we old college friends that were in town my ex found out some how that I stayed in town this weekend. So my friends who have not talked to her in months started getting text from her last night asking where we were going to be. One of my friends without me knowing till this morning sent her a text telling her don't even think about coming here you have done enough damage. Didn't run into her the night ended up being a great night just found it funny how when the dumped start standing their ground and stop playing games the dumpers start to regret their decision.

talaniman · Aug 11, 2007, 07:54 AM

That is funny and you havesome good friends around you. Be aware that her feelings hasn't changed, but she is intent on keeping you confused so you cannot get healthy and get over her. Like throwing a bone to a starving dog. Dog sticks around hoping for more. Don't be her dog.

Jiser · Aug 12, 2007, 09:27 AM

Yeh you do. Leave it in the past.

Flyguy1784 · Aug 15, 2007, 01:13 PM

Hey everyone its going great everyday is getting better. She has been texting me every few days I have yet to respond and don't know if I ever want to again. I have been keeping so busy and other girls are coming out of every corner kind of fun. This site has been a major help!

stilllearning · Aug 15, 2007, 01:51 PM

That's good! I had a good night last night, one of the best in years actually. Lots of reflecting and getting in touch with myself by myself. It was nice. I listed to songs on YouTube all night. I played you got lucky babe from tom petty over and over. Lol

Ive been NC for 4 days and have not heard from her yet.

I want her to text me but then again I don't. Ive really been thinking about things that she has done over the years and how controlling she was.

Ash123 · Aug 15, 2007, 01:52 PM

Excellent.

Hold on to one thing: focus on what's healthy.
Exercise. Your life. Women that are honest.

Your Ex is on ice....like a beer.
You can get it when you are done with work.

Or never... Stay away for now.

Krista1 · Aug 19, 2007, 05:15 PM

Don't let her go because it sounds like she loves you a lot! And if you let her go you might not find anyone else like her. You should call her.

stilllearning · Aug 19, 2007, 05:33 PM

He has to go. He already knows he loves her. But he can't be putting himself on hold for her, she left. Will a new girl bring her back? Good chance, but she wanted the space not him

Flyguy1784 · Aug 20, 2007, 05:43 AM

There is no point in trying to get her back now, she wants to go do her own thing and that is fine. Why love someone when they don't return your love yeah it sounds like she loves me but actions speak louder then words and her actions are showing me that she has no clue what she wants. So I am living each day and having a blast doing there are new girls coming out of the blue and it is so much fun also I think there is something developing with one of my really good friends. She has started to be way more flirtatious with me ever since the breakup so life is great no point in setting myself back... she lost me!

Ash123 · Aug 20, 2007, 09:27 AM

Dude, you took the advice and made it happen.

If only everyone could focus like you have - and use the advice given...

Nice work.

Flyguy1784 · Aug 21, 2007, 06:39 AM

Got a text from the Ex last night saying "I just want you to know that I still think about the good things and I miss them so much they make me cry when I go to sleep don't call I just wanted you to know that"... I didn't call and then 15 minutes later got another text saying I need some more time but if we are meant to be together we will be. Funny thing is I was out with that really good friend I talked about last post so I was in no mood to deal with it. I let it go for the night and sent her a text back this morning saying "yeah all that line means is I don't want to be with you I don't think you are what I want and I think there is better out there but I want to give you a little hope and not be mean in case I can't find anyone better...I don't need this I have another great opportunity on my doorstep this was you call live with it....I am" I know it was harsh but I can't do it anymore I will not have her try to put me on the back burner.

mckenzie134 · Aug 21, 2007, 07:00 AM

Mate you are still trying to justify to her whayt her messages are. STOP doing this why are you even replying like that Your reply should have just said. "DONT WORRY ABOUT IT" or Even better why are you still respondn g to this absoulute crap which she throws at you GO SILEN do not take any more of this she is feeing off any small responses and by repling in your way I can read exacly what your saying,

I hobestly believe if she said she wants to start fresh you would II CAN TELL THIS FROM YOUR Response TO HER Message. You know why cause you tell her that yo have and opportunity at your doorstep and even if this isright youwould not be tellingher this you would just be sayingo yourself id rather this new one sowhy am I even thinking of ex cause that's what will happen. When you don't ant her then you reallly won't reply..

So cut it now next time you get a message check it then delete and sauy to yourself she still wants me she keeps messaging me... if she really wants you back start totally ignoring her and you will get your answer veryquickly...