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brandywine · Aug 9, 2007, 06:14 AM

Hi,
I have a question regarding the law for visitation of the father in NC. Here's the scenario: My boyfriend has a 7 year old son with an ex. He does pay child support (court-ordered) and provides for his son (outside of child support) and tries to see him as much as possible. He basically sees his son on her schedule, which is understandable since she's the custodial parent. She is engaged to be married and she and her son live with her fiancée.
The problem is for the past several months my boyfriend will have planned to have his son and at the last minute she will decide not to let him. Something will happen where she would get upset with him and use their son as a pawn. She has gone so far as to tell his mother that she wants him to sign over his parental rights so her fiancée can adopt their son. Her finacee is in the military and she says they are moving to Hawaii.
So now, my boyfriend is worried about not being able to see his son at all and trying to get set visitation rights that specify when he can see is son. There's never been an history of abuse between my boyfriend and his son and they have a great relationship. We have been together for 3 years and I also have a great relationship with his son.

Question #1: Can she force him to sign over his parental rights if she and her fiancée get married?
Question #2: How does my boyfriend go about getting legal visitation rights? Should he go to the case worker who handles his child support?
Another thing, she is constantly taking him to court to get child support increased, which is based on his income. He also has health insurance for his son. If anyone has any ideas please let me know.

Foxy459459 · Aug 9, 2007, 06:32 AM

For your first question she can not force him to sign over his rights, if he is a good father, and pays child support she can not do anything with that not to worry. There is no way in hell she can do that unless he is willing to sign over his rights.

And for the second questions he needs to take her to court so he can set his vistation in stone so she can't just bail out on him at the very last second. If he has something in writing by a judge, and she telles him that he can't have his son that day then he can bring the police to her house with the paper work and she will be forced to give him his son. BUT HE HAS TO GET A COURT ORDER! Then if she does move then they can work something out so he can still see him. I wish I could help more but the ball is in his court and he needs to take her to court and get the ball rolling. I hope everything goes will and I could have been a help to you and your family...

brandywine · Aug 9, 2007, 06:39 AM

Could he go through the case worker who contacts him about child support or does he need to go to social services? Another thing I forgot to mention is that they are in two different counties. Oh, and thanks for responding! We are so stressed out about this.

excon · Aug 9, 2007, 06:45 AM

Originally Posted by brandywine

Could he go through the case worker who contacts him about child support or does he need to go to social services? Another thing I forgot to mention is that they are in two different counties. Oh, and thanks for responding! We are so stressed out about this.

Hello brandy:

A court judgment has TEETH. A court can make him obey. A bureaucrat has no TEETH. They can't force him to do anything.

If you want action, go to court. If you want to screw around, call your local bureaucrat.

excon

brandywine · Aug 9, 2007, 06:51 AM

I am a bit ignorant about the court system, so what is the procedure in doing that. Who would he need to contact to get the ball rolling? Does he need a lawyer?

ScottGem · Aug 9, 2007, 06:53 AM

I'll make it three strikes and she's out. You meantion that support is court ordered but you don't say anything about visitation/custody. Your boyfriend has to go to court and do so IMMEDIATELY. Get an attorney, NOW! He needs to have the court order a specific schedule or at least a percentage of time. Once the court issues such an order she will NOT be able to move without court approval since it will hamper his visitation rights.

And, as Foxy said, she can't force him to relinquish rights, though, if he doesn't get a lawyer, and she has one, the lawyer may outmaneouver him.

excon · Aug 9, 2007, 06:57 AM

Hello again, brandy:

Your boyfriend has been there before so HIS experience isn't void. If child support is court ordered, then the visitation is too. He needs to go back to THAT court and tell the judge that the ex isn't complying with HIS order.

Yes, THIS is what lawyers do. They can get things done. You, on the other hand, and by your own admission, are ignorant.

So, if you want action, hire a lawyer. If you want to screw around, try it yourself.

excon

Foxy459459 · Aug 9, 2007, 06:59 AM

Hi Brandy!

If he gets a lawyer then the lawyer can handle everything and he doesn't have to worry about filling the paper work because that's what you pay the lawyer to do. If you don't want to get a lawyer which I would suggest to do so, but if you don't he can go to the court house and fill out the paper work there, there are many people there that can help him with it and what not. And tell him to call the county court where his child resides and ask them which one he should go through. It might have to be the county court where the child resides but not always that's why I say just make the phone call. You could even call and ask for him. I hope everything works out for you...

Fr_Chuck · Aug 9, 2007, 07:14 AM

No the child support case worker has nothing to do with visits,

The exact days and times he is to visit should be listed in the child custody agreement. She can not legally deny him visits on those times.
If she does, he takes her back to court for being in contempt. After three or four times of being taken back to court, normally the judge will start giving her a fine for contempt.

Just like she would take him back if he did not pay, he has to take her back to court. So he needs to hire an attorney and file for exact visits times and dates if he does not already have it.

As long as he pays his support, and tries to visit, his rights can not be taken away.

macksmom · Aug 9, 2007, 07:51 AM

As everyone has said... no she cannot force him to sign over his rights... he has to willingly do so.
As far as raising child support, in Ohio, you can only go every 3 years to have child support re-evaluated... and if it shouldn't be raised the court wouldn't raise it... child support is simply based off a spreadsheet, and has 2 factor... her income and his... they trace those amounts down and where they meet is the amount to child support... there may come a time when she tries to get it raised and it may lower... she will have to find that our on her own.

Child support and visitation are 2 separate things... they have nothing to do with the other as far a legal terms. So no, do not go to the child support office about visitation. Call your courthouse and have them direct you to the department you need to file for visitation. It is possible to file for visitation on your own, but MUCH MUCH easier to have a lawyer do it... and it really shouldn't be that much in attorney fees because since child support is already set, all you would be dealing with is visitation, which paperwork wise, is pretty simple.

I cannot stress enough to get visitation set... she went and had child support legally set, your boyfriend needs to get visitation legally set... then no, she will not be able to move without his consent.

Best of luck!

excon · Aug 9, 2007, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by brandywine

He basically sees his son on her schedule, which is understandable since she's the custodial parent.

Hello macksmom:

I'm not going to give you a big red blotch like you did me... But I think you're wrong. It's true, she didn't say the words "court ordered visitation". You assume that because she didn't, that there wasn't any visitation ordered at all.

She DID, however, use the words "custodial parent" in terms of his visitation. I assume from that terminology, that there WAS some visitation and/or custody order entered into.

I could be wrong... But, I'm not.

excon

brandywine · Aug 10, 2007, 08:42 AM

Thank you all for your input. From all the responses I think the smartest route would be to hire an attorney to make sure everything is handled thoroughly. My boyfriend and his ex were never married and as far as the child support order, I don't think visitation was mentioned. We'll have to see if he can get a copy of the documents. I apologize if I confused some of you with the use of my terminology "custodial parent". I am an accountant and was in "tax law" mode. There's this service here in NC in which attorneys will help you complete and process the paperwork for visitation for a fee of $75. He went there yesterday and completed the forms, but they told him that since his son is in another county he should take the paperwork to Social Services (which he did) to expedite the process. Does this sound right to you all? I think we'll wait a few weeks to see if any progress is being made. If not, an attorney will be the next step. Actually, I think I'll suggest to him to get a consultation anyway. What do you think?

ScottGem · Aug 10, 2007, 09:41 AM

Sounds right. But why doesn't he have a copy of the support order?

brandywine · Aug 10, 2007, 10:25 AM

I honestly don't know. I would guess that he would blame age (he was 21 at the time), but that's no excuse when it comes to issues as serious as this. We'll go through his paperwork tonight and see if we can find anything. Once again, thanks for all the valuable information.

Foxy459459 · Aug 10, 2007, 10:32 AM

I would still get a lawyer, so that way they can hadle everything, so that way you don't have to worry about anything, having a lawyer in type of situation is great because they elimate a lot of headache for you. Then he doesn't even have to involve himself in a lot of things. The lawyers just talk to each other and the parents can pretty much stay out of it. They just have to show up at court. Im telling you from personal experence. They are great. And it makes things go so much smoother. I hope everything works out for you and your family!

brandywine · Aug 10, 2007, 11:14 AM

How much do you think a lawyer would cost in this situation?