[JohnnyP409]

And I blocked her

[GoldieMae]

IF you want her back but not right now (I'm not sure you really do want her back in this case), then I say you should talk to her and tell her the absolute truth: Tell her that you want to be with her, but you she hurt you so badly that you are having trouble getting past it. Tell her that she needs to be patient with you, let you heal, and then you will contact her. In the South, we call this a polite version of eff off.

However, I am not so sure you really do want to get back together with her. If you want to date other people, which it sounds like that is what you really want to do, then you absolutely need to go no contact. You will date other people, meet someone even better, and get on with your life. She will regret her mistake. You will be with someone entirely different in 90 days and be asking yourself what you ever saw in her. If, however, at the end of this 90 day window you want her back, you will find that she has met someone else and asking herself what she ever saw in you.

But, if you see this woman as your wife in the future (and you are over the age of 27) then contact her, let bygones be bygones, and plan that future. If she is the "one," you rarely get second chances. The no contact thing can blow up in your face big time in the case of the "one."

[s_cianci]

Keep ignoring her, don't respond to her and kill that urge you have to talk to her. You've made it clear what you want and the only way to get it is to completely ignore her.

[Ash123]

Well done!

We cannot give love and respect without love and respect... She knows this deep down but is lashing out to make herself feel better... you have allllllll the time in the world to respond... enjoy this position. Once you give it up - you may not like it...

As I always say - IFFFFF she is the one, you don't have to worry, you'll find each other.
If not, and I doubt she is :-) - you are buying valuable time to get your head together.

[JohnnyP409]

Well today is the first day since we fought that she hasn't sought contact with me. I feel like even though I was not answering I was hooked on her calling kind of as an ego boost. Could I be making a mistake in not talking to her and hearing out why she is calling? I feel like such a drug addict, haha, needing my fix!

Is it possible that she is done thinking about me? I want her to miss me like I miss her! I know it sounds bitter, but while she was contacting me I knew she missed me.

[Ash123]

Well, not to put too fine a point on it but:

a)-She misses having someone to yell at.
b)-When she calms down she'll miss having someone to talk to before she yells at them.
c) And if you really give her time she may find that she's stuck with yelling at herself and that may be boring.

Enjoy your quiet time. She is NOT.

[mora1234]

I want her back though. Is ignoring her the right thing to do? hahaha I probably sound like an idiot wanting her back, but it was great when we were together.

If you want her back, take her back. She wants you is clear. It's that simple don't hurt her like she hurt you. Life is too short for games take her back:)

[JohnnyP409]

Mora, she dumped me. She has started to see someone else. I don't think she is completely over me, and if I could take her back I would. Don't you think if she wanted me back she would leave a message?

She's past me I think, I want to heal myself become friends with her down the road and possibly get back together in the future if we both live in the same area (or as Ash says, that's what I want now, but won't later).

[GlindaofOz]

It seems like its all sinking it, which is great. Follow Ash's awesome survival guide and you will be fine in no time.

[JohnnyP409]

Friends, I'll keep you all updated on the situation. It looks bleak that I will talk to her anytime soon (in the next few months). I am going to a bachelor party tomorrow and spending the weekend with friends. I will post again afterwards to update, although I doubt she will have contacted me again, it seems like we are done and now respecting the space that we both wanted, and now need, in order to appreciate what we once had.

[Ash123]

Once your pride heals - then your ears can!

Man, you should thank that guy!

[JohnnyP409]

So after the long weekend away, I find this whole no contact thing to be a little easier even though I get some urges to talk to her. I've thought about writing her a letter and trying to put everything out there for her to see, but I've refrained. It is still hard when I am by myself. I always find my thoughts drifting towards her and towards wanting to call her because that's what I did when I was alone before. A five hour car ride by myself on Thursday was torture.

All I can think about is that some douchebag guy, and I know he is a meathead is experiencing what I used to love, and he means nothing to her more than a way to satisfy her feelings of inadequacy, more so that I could do because I was 4-5 hours away a lot of the time. It sucks, but I've met a new girl that I think I am going to hang out with soon, so hopefully becoming friends with her will help me forget about the ex.

[talaniman]

Stay on the path to healing, and enjoy yourself along the way, and be cautious of using others to heal your wounds. Be honest as causing pain to another will not help your own feelings right now. Continue to leave the ex alone, so as not to lose focus.

[JohnnyP409]

I have an undeveloped role of film of me and her from when we were dating and a shirt of hers. I was thinking that after a month of no contact I'd write her a letter telling her I don't hate her and actually that I miss her, and give her the good pictures and her shirt as well. Maybe try to restart some of her feelings with that, or at least hopefully have her miss me a little.

[talaniman]

For one you could stop freaking talking about her, and get busy doing something else like polishing your shoes, or something that gets you busy, like the park or anything. You will drive yourself crazy this way.

[Ash123]

Don't send the pix.

You oughta send 'em to the new guy with a box of chocolates and THANK HIM!
... for saving you from another year of yelling and hurt eardrums.
It's his hell now... He might as well enjoy the chocolates, you are free.

You are on her mind, don't worry... She is filling in the space because she is too immature to take the time to grow in between relationships.

However, You are.

Surprise: I'd bet your next GF is better than her. Really!

[JohnnyP409]

She contacted me on gmail today. It's been 8 days since her last attempt. All it said was "we still not talking?" I don't get it, she knows I asked for space, she lives 5 hours away, and she's doing someone else... leave me alone! Why is she contacting me again, and should I just talk to her again and tell her to leave me alone and give solid reasons?

[GlindaofOz]

No you already told her you need space that's enough. She should be respectful of your needs. Considering that she's not it just shows how little concern for your well being she really has.

I would also not send the pictures. I wouldn't even develop the roll of film just toss it and if you feel its necessary mail the shirt back to her no note just the shirt

[JohnnyP409]

Can anyone think of why she is still contacting me if she says she is over me (when we fought before all this NC started)? She is hooking up with someone else now...

[talaniman]

She is trying to keep you confused so you can't move on. That's why its important for you not to contact her. She is wanting you in her life as a back up plan in case it doesn't work with this new guy.