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    LIZ2007's Avatar
    LIZ2007 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 8, 2007, 10:15 AM
    So confused.loosing a friend to a Guy
    About a few weeks ago my ex and I broke up... so to get my ming of it I decided to go out with my friend and her new guy... his name is jeffrey...

    We went to this club and I met some of jeffreys friends... ely, jeffreys friend ask for my number but I ask him for his instead...

    After a while I decided to call ely but I had lost his number but I asked jeffrey if he could give it to me... then jeffrey told me that he would have to ask him first...

    Jeffrey then told me if I was trying to talk to Ely... it was not a good idea because Ely likes messing around with different girls...


    I told him that I wanted to just talk to him as friends...

    He then told me that Ely didn't want me to get his number... Jeffrey told me that Ely was talking to another girl and that he's that type of guy... he doesn't wait around for one girl...

    As time passed by I asked jeffrey for ely's number again...

    Jeffrey told me that Ely actuallly did want my number... that he had just broken up with his girlfriend and he wanted to forget about her with me... so mean

    Jeffrey then told me that ely just like messing around with different girl and he didn't want anything to do with me... at this point I'm thinking I don't want to have nothing to do with him either...

    What surprised meeven more is the strong effort of Jeffrey to make his best friend look as bad as he did...

    To make a long story short I manage to get ely's number and confronted of all the mean things his friend had told me... he had said... he swear on his kid that he never said that and that in the contrary jeffrey kept telling him that I was not a good girl for him that I liked talking to different guys... in other words that I was a player

    So I told my best friend about what Ely had told me and now she is mad because Jeffrey will find out and will loose his friend... she comment and said that what do I think that; Jeffrey might like me... she was sarcastic... AND That's WAY OFF MY MIND...

    FIRST OF ALL SHE'S MY Best friend... AND SECOND SHE SAYS SHE Doesn't BELIEVE THE OTHER GUY ELY (JEFFREYS FRIEND)
    :confused:

    I have a hard time believeing Jeffrey I believe every story has two parts to it...

    And in this case Ely couldn't deffend himself...

    In the other hand she keeps saying that Ely is probably lying...

    What do you think??

    Did I do wrong by confronting him
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Aug 8, 2007, 10:25 AM
    Is this the same dude as your other thread?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Aug 8, 2007, 10:27 AM
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ls-117039.html
    LIZ2007's Avatar
    LIZ2007 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Aug 8, 2007, 10:49 AM
    No this is another guy... hehehehe

    The other guy I had met him later on
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #5

    Aug 8, 2007, 12:04 PM
    Hun, why do you feel the need to have a boyfriend right now? Any boyfriend you have will be a rebound relationship.

    Time to take some time for you and you only.

    Just lay low, play the field for a while.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Aug 8, 2007, 12:43 PM
    There sure is a lot of drama, and he said she said, and honestly who needs that crap. Find another way of being happy, that doesn't involve all the games playing.
    LIZ2007's Avatar
    LIZ2007 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 8, 2007, 01:18 PM
    I just feel like my friend is taking her guy's side and not being opened minded about things... I know is so difficult to understand this... but oh well I don't care anymore
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #8

    Aug 8, 2007, 01:28 PM
    Yeah, she's going to take her guys side. Typical high school drama.
    LIZ2007's Avatar
    LIZ2007 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Aug 8, 2007, 01:49 PM
    Yup that's true... but the thing is that we are all in our early 20's how childish is that... I don't care anymore... She can choose that guy I just hope she doesn't get hurt in the long run!
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #10

    Aug 8, 2007, 04:19 PM
    As they say about gossip, don't believe 95% of it and only half-believe the other 5%. Unfortunately, you, Jeffery, Ely and your friend all fell into that trap of believing and spreading gossip. Jeffrey gossipped to you about Ely, then you gossipped to Ely about Jeffrey, then you gossipped to your friend about Ely, then she completes the circle by gossipping to Jeffrey about you. That's the best and most efficient way to destroy friendships. Some things, in fact most things, are truly better left unsaid, whether "true" or not ; that's not just a cliché. It's altogether possible that Jeffrey started with good intentions, in wanting to protect you from what he considers to be Ely's womanizing and game-playing. But intention alone doesn't justify actions and it really wasn't Jeffrey's place to try and protect you in the first place. You're a big girl, capable of taking care of yourself and I'm sure Jeffrey knows that. That said, a better response to Jeffrey would have been to say something like "Well, thanks for the warning. But I'm only interested in talking to Ely as a friend and I did promise to call him, so if you don't mind I'd like to have his number anyway, please, and form my own opinion." Then keep everything else strictly to yourself and don't repeat it to anyone, as if it never happened in the first place. Eventually you will form your own opinion and one of two things will happen ; either you'll find out that Jeffrey was telling the absolute truth about Ely, in which case you just chalk it up to experience and move on, or you'll find out that Ely's the exact opposite of what Jeffrey said and that Jeffrey doesn't have a clue, in which case you'd just let nature take its course. But continuing to spread and feed gossip will only create problems and solve none.

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