[gamer4life313]

Hey Imma guy and Im in the same situation but worse. When me and my girl 1st hooked up we had sex like 3 times a day she used to consistently wake me up out of my sleep for sex we have been togeather 2 years now and had a daughter 6 months ago. Our sexual activity is down to once or twice a week. I have never had this problem with any girlfriend before. If I touch any where below her waste she grabs my hand or ask what I'm doing and talking to her only makes me feel less wanted because I have practically have to beg to get some and then its not fun because I feel like she won't enjoy it. I don't want to leave because I want to continue to live with my daughter, but I feel like cheating is my only option Im 23 and she's 20:(

[kp2171]

Stress and just the daily pressures of living, especially kids, can really put a crimp in the spontaneous sex thing.

My experience is that there needs to be compromise and talking. I've had periods where my drive was higher and then other times it was lower. You both need to be able to talk about it without it being a fight. And that's not easy to do sometimes.

My partner and I try to take a night or two away from the house every couple of months. Get kid coverage and grab dinner and a hotel. Yes, it might seem like a waste of money to get a hotel three miles from home. But its not home. Its about reconnecting, and that encompasses sex, but isn't limited to it.

A woman, most of the time in my experience, needs to be relaxed mentally and into the moment, otherwise she's just going through the emotions. You might be upset about the sex... she likely isn't happy with the distance between you... and this can happen in "happy" marriages. Its happened in mine before. We get distracted. And lazy. And tired. etc.

So... you frustration is real. Understand there is probably something missing on her side too. Is she healthy? Depressed? Does she work out? Take time away from the family and time for herself? Have friends she connects with? The more complete her life is, the better chance she's going to feel grounded and connected.

And don't take that as meaning you've failed anything. Again, we have to mentally reset from time to time... and I think especially when you are younger, you are still getting used to how "life" runs...

[statictable]

You have not failed but it's time to give needed space so your wife can deal with her feelings on her own terms. You can't help till she asks for help. You can't demand or manipulate or play any games with her. You have a family now and priorities change as you get to know one another as a mother and father. If your into cars think of your Porsche GT3 as having a well defined displacement as well as HP and torque. You have created a third person and many new responsibilities which might be similar to having an extra passenger and their luggage in your new car. The defined displacement/HP and torque remain the same but all the rest of the performance data will change. It's not the car's fault nor yours nor your wife's. Most married adults will become aware of changes and make adjustments. Right now she may not feel secure which is very important to a new mother and father in order to preserve the growth and health of the child. Take lots of time and you'll be a proud dad who can look back and enjoy the memories without feeling you were less than who you are.

[eustress89]

Don't cheat on her, if she finds out, that will just make the matters worse. Children put a lot of stress on your intimate life. If she doesn't want to have sex with you as much, maybe she is just worried and doesn't want to get pregnant again. Just talk to her about it, see why exactly she isn't wanting sex as frequently.

Bottom line--wait for her, she will come around. Don't cheat.