[Evildelyn]

I Hate myself. I think I'm ugly, and I cut. I Can't stop myself no matter what, I've already been to a psychiatrist, it helped for a while but now its just worse than it was before. I have such intense feelings of hate for everything. Even my closest friends and it confuses me because I tell myself I love them like family but a part of me hates them and I can't stand it. I can't sleep, I don't want to eat anymore, I don't want to talk to people, but I don't want anyone thinking something is wrong with me. I don't like people worrying about me and asking me what's wrong. The only reason I went to a psychiatrist before was because my doctor had found cuts on my arms. I couldn't even really tell him anything, I just sat there and lied to him. I just don't think I should be here anymore. I mean, its weird, I'll sit here and be cutting and just grinning like an idiot, I love the sight of blood and the taste, I love the pain of other people, but at the same time I'm disgusted. I'm so confused about everything and it hurts... What is going on with me?? :(

[LearningAsIGo]

My dear, you need to go back and get some more help. Its not wrong to sit in front of a psychiatrist and say "I'm just going to lie to you." It may sound weird, but that will help them help you and they'll understand. A patient/doctor relationship only develops trust over time, so its not unusual to clam up and not speak and/or lie when confronted by the situation.

I'm not a doctor, but you sound deeply depressed. What causes it? That's what you would need professional help to determine. Sometimes people cut because the physical pain from cutting distracts you from the emotional pain~ that hurts even more. Its also symbolic to bleed and then be able to bandage those wounds. Its not a nice way to live hun, so I want you to find someone who can help you bandange those emotional wounds.

I can tell you that you are a worthwhile individual who has a lot to offer this world. You're important and loved, you just need a little help to see that. :) Please go to a person you trust and ask them to get you to another psychiatrist. You could also call your doctor's office and ask for another recommendation to a new psychiatrist or go back to the old one.

Good luck my dear.

[Moomin]

I am sorry to hear you are in this kind of distress.

RecoverYourLife.com - Self Harm Support and Information - Home is a website designed for people who self harm to talk anonymously over the net. Here you can support each other and talk in a safe environment. There are chat rooms so no matter what time of day or night it is there will be someone to talk to you.

On a personal note - it helped me no end!

I hope this helps!