[Joe2982]

I will be away this weekend to help ease my mind and help building my own lofe separate from her.

[Canada_Sweety]

See.. things like that are proof that the break was a good idea. She's showing she cares and she's calling even though you're still on a break. So imagine how great it's going to be when you guys are back togehter. Just keep that in mind when you become impatient.:)

[talaniman]

You have too much to lose by being the same guy who ran her off in the first place. Work on being a better more patient you, and stop scaring the female that you love. If you don't learn from you past mistakes, they come back to bite you. It seems you should have ample incentive to work on you.

[Canada_Sweety]

You have to much to lose by being the same guy who ran her off in the first place. Work on being a better more patient you, and stop scaring the female that you love. If you don't learn from you past mistakes, they come back to bite you. It seems you should have ample incentive to work on you.

You're totally right:)

[Joe2982]

Trust me... I will never be that guy that drove her away again. I see how it hurt my relationship now. I also know that it will destroy any relationship I ever have if I continue that behavior. This girl did everything for me, and I pushed her away by being that person. This month and a half was a huge eye opener for me. It gave me the reality check I needed. Maybe as much pain as I felt these last few weeks, it was a blessing in disguise. All I want is to be a better person for myself, then for Carolina.

[Joe2982]

I am just a little concerned that it might be a little awkward between us when we hang out. Any suggestions on that??

[talaniman]

Go SLOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! There is no hurry to get deep into each other. She will be checking you out for positive signs of change, so remember what the therapist has been showing you. Go easy and make her comfortable.
By the way what has your therapist been saying to you?

[Joe2982]

He tells me that 99% of the things that go on in relationships, I just have to let go and not let it bother me. In regards to my current situation, he says that it is only temporary. He also says that the fact that she is now willing to have contact is a great sign that she still wants this relationship. Patience is key in this situation. He advises me to do fun activities with her. Having fun with one another will help strengthen the bond between us. He told me to listen to the Frank Sinatra song "Nice n Easy". It cannot be the way it has been for the last 2 years right now. Basically just taking it slow will show her a lot.

[emopunk7]

You are lucky...

[Joe2982]

I will consider myself lucky when her and I are back together. Right now, I see myself as someone who helped mess up his own relationship.

[Haplo]

I will consider myself lucky when her and I are back together. Right now, I see myself as someone who helped mess up his own relationship.

No different then most people, since relationships take work and humans make mistakes. You are lucky in the sense that she is giving you another chance... many of us here didn't get that from the person we wanted it from. Be thankful for each part of this that has worked out for you and has gotten you where you are now. Humility is important and will serve you well, especially in your reconciliation.

[thoughtiwastheman]

I don't want to burst your hope but my bet is there is a new guy that she is interested in. I was in a relationship for 6 years before things went bad. You know? My ex used the same lines on me. Like you, it is very hard for me to trust people and that was one of the problems with our relationship. The point is this. Women hate to be by themselves. If she is saying she wants a break it is probably because she doesn't want to come striaght out and tell you that she doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't let her string you along. That's what was happening to me until I decided to completely cut her off. In the beginning my ex would call and tell me she missed me, that she wanted to come and visit me, and that she loved me, but when I asked her whether she was IN love with me, she would responded by saying she doesn't know. That's the other thing. Women don't know what the heck they want. Just stay away from her for about three to four months and if you are still interested than give her a call and see what's up. As for me, it been five months and I have had no contact with her although she calls, asks to be "friends" on myspace and other on-line communities, and has sent me messages every time after running into me from the night before. I do think when I am ready I will make contact but for now stay away and think things through. I am very happy that you are getting help with your trust issue. I have also been re-evaluating myself and making daily changes. Good luck. P.S. The pictures on myspace don't mean a damn thing. My ex still wears and take pictures with the jewelries I bought her. Unlike guys, girls have this incredible ability to switch on and off and just pick up an leave when someone else or thing has peeked their interest. Women are all about emotion. Tap that and your gold.

[Haplo]

I don't want to burst your hope but my bet is there is a new guy that she is interested in. I was in a relationship for 6 years before things went bad. You know? My ex used the same lines on me. Like you, it is very hard for me to trust people and that was one of the problems with our relationship. The point is this. Women hate to be by themselves. If she is saying she wnats a break it is probably because she doesn't want to come striaght out and tell you that she doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't let her string you along. That's what was happening to me until I decided to completely cut her off. In the beginning my ex would call and tell me she missed me, that she wanted to come and visit me, and that she loved me, but when I asked her whether she was IN love with me, she would responded by saying she doesn't know. That's the other thing. Women don't know what the heck they want. Just stay away from her for about three to four months and if you are still interested than give her a call and see what's up. As for me, it been five months and I have had no contact with her although she calls, asks to be "friends" on myspace and other on-line communities, and has sent me messages everytime after running into me from the night before. I do think when I am ready I will make contact but for now stay away and think things through. I am very happy that you are getting help with your trust issue. I have also been re-evaluating myself and making daily changes. Good luck. P.S. The pictures on myspace don't mean a damn thing. My ex still wears and take pictures with the jewelries I bought her. Unlike guys, girls have this incredible ability to switch on and off and just pick up an leave when someone else or thing has peeked their interest. Women are all about emotion. Tap that and your gold.

Probably a good idea to read the ENTIRE thread before posting...

Ignore this post.

[Joe2982]

In regards to her having interest in someone else... anything is possilbe. It could very well be that. However, she has stressed to me over and over that it isn't. Time will tell what will happen. Until then all I can do is live my life and play the cards life deals me. I know all that myspace crap, and anything I see online is probably done out of spite so I or someone I know will see it. It is only done to bother me. I guess that is part of the game people play with one another. I love her so much... but if it is not meant to be, what am I going to do? Cry about it? No way!! That is something I have not done since this has happened. Worst case scenario... I just pickup the pieces and move on.

[emopunk7]

My ex swore to me that there was no one else and sure enough there was. I found out the hard way by driving by and seeing her with a guy. Funny how no matter what bad she did or does in my brain, I still think about the good. I hope to find to he right one ASAP!

[Joe2982]

One thing I am learning the best way either move on or get them back is to just live your life and be happy with yourself. One of two things will happen. You will get over them, or they will see you are living great without them and want you back.

[Joe2982]

*UPDATE*

Ok... last night her and I met to play pool. It went very well. She did bring up how she has been feeling for the last month and a half. She also said that she knows she wants this relationship and wants to take it slow. I already knew this, but she felt she had to reassure me. After we left the pool hall, her and I went to grab something to eat. While we were there we both were laughing and joking with one another. She told me that she loves me and wouldn't be here if she didn't love me and want to get back together. I told her that this break will only make our relationship stronger, and I agreed with her that we needed this to fix our problems now. All in all, it was a great night and we both had fun.

[Flyguy1784]

Good Job Joe... best of luck take it slow and I hope the best for both of you!

[Joe2982]

Thank you Flyguy. Slow is the only way to take it. If we love each other, there is no reason for us not to work this out.

[Canada_Sweety]

awwe! that's wonderful!:D