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strengthwithinme · Aug 1, 2007, 08:01 AM

:confused:

I began dating a man about 2 weeks after his wife died, he told me that they were not together at the time of her death, that they were getting ready to get divorced.(which was a lie) I though what a tough blow, but we began dating and we dated for almost 2 years now. From the beginning of the r/ship he was seeing his mistress from when his wife was alive, with whom he has a child with, and he was also just seeing other women. Finally 5 months after his wife died, he married his wife's friend from the church they used to attend (Cult). He continued to see me, till I found out that he had gotten married. I was devastated, but 2 weeks into the marriage, he left her and came back to me, and got divorced. I thought we were going well, but now I find that he gets calls from women constantly and when I call them and ask them why they call at odd hours, they claim that they never knew he had a girlfriend. He claims that these women are his friends and cousins, but his own mother does not even know these so-called cousins. He lies constantly, about everything, he lies to anybody including his children. He also seems to be obsessed by pornography, yet we had a very good sex life. He is very selfish, and stingy, to the point that he won't even buy his 3 yr old a birthday cake. He lies about being promoted at work, and he always uses the fact that he is a single dad to get women. I have tried therapy with him, but he is such a compulsive liar, I am at my wits end! I don't want to leave the children, because he will just bring another woman into their lives! The children are lucky that they have decent grandparents, but he is still the dad, and when he gets another woman, he will take them. Can anybody else relate to a person like this? Every time I try and break up, he begs me to stay for dear life, but turns around and tells his family that he cannot be with me, because I am not a good christian woman. HELP!!

s_cianci · Aug 1, 2007, 08:12 AM

RUN, do not walk, away from this sociopath as fast as your legs can carry you and don't look back!

bushg · Aug 1, 2007, 08:24 AM

I am not trying to be mean. Honey you would have to be insane to stay with this. YOU CAN NOT HELP HIM! I hope rubypitbull stops by with her website that she gave another person in regards to sociopaths. You need to seriously considering leaving. His lies could cause all types of trouble for you.

SAB123 · Aug 1, 2007, 08:50 AM

I would run too this is not healty for you.

RubyPitbull · Aug 2, 2007, 11:34 AM

strengthwithinme, so where is the strength within you? What exactly do you want help with?

Everyone here is saying the same thing. From what you have written, you already know that they are right and you need to get this guy out of your life. If you are saying that you are staying for the sake of his children, as sad as it is for them to have a father like that, you need to accept that they are not your responsibility. It is a shame that they have been saddled with this guy as a father, but they have nice grandparents who are involved in their lives. Your breaking it off with this man doesn't mean that you have to completely end your relationship with his children. If he is as irresponsible toward them as you describe, I am sure once he is completely on his own with them, he will be more than willing for you to take them off his hands once in a while. If you want to maintain the relationship you have created with his children, and to give them some positive stability in their lives from someone (you) that cares about them, you have to find an amicable way to work this out with him. It sounds as if you have a decent relationship with others in his family, so maintain your friendship with them. That friendship should give you access to his children from time to time. If you need help with this, I suggest you go back to that counselor who knows him well enough and who can give you the proper guidance in how you can best stay involved in his children's lives.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 2, 2007, 01:27 PM

Please seek counseling as soon as possible, No one should be staying with this man after he got married to the other person, to start with.

I have no idea why anyone would stay with this man, you need help breaking it off with him at once.

SpawnOfAzazel · Aug 2, 2007, 01:42 PM

Okay, so he starts dating two weeks after his wife dies, then five months later he marries which lasts all of two weeks, then comes back to you, and has women calling him all hours of the night.
Why in the world would you date someone TWO WEEKS after his wife dies??
Run a background check on this guy if you can, I'm sure there are some very interesting things on there.
But I wholeheartedly agree with the other posters: run, run like hell and don't look back!