[linsey5683]

ok... I work at this restaurant where this guy that I like works... I've liked this guy for about a year.. Really since the day I laid eyes on em.. I recently let him in on it... And he said he liked me too... Well.. We kinda started seeing eachother but not really.. we've never seen each other away from work but once.. and it was only for a short time.. here's the problem.. there's this other girl that he's been seeing for the past year or so.. and he says that he's not happy.. that she's not good to him and that she has never really wanted him.. it's like she just wants him when someone else wants him.. I'm seriously falling for this guy and I'm soo scared.. I haven't felt like this since I was engaged.. and then I never felt this strongly.. I don't know what to do.. I told him that I just wasn't going to bother him about it.. I was going to let him do his thing.. he seems to really like me.. he just seems confused as to what he wants.. I don't even really know my question here or even why I'm doing this.. I'm just soo lost and confused about what to do that I'm willing to turn to anything.. I've tried to just forget about him but he's in my every thought.. It's like I'm in love with him.. I've always guarded my heart since I was engaged and now it's like I have no control over anything.. please give me some sort of advice as to what to do .. I'm desperate.. and oh yes.. this guy is not even my type at all.. I've never liked anyone like him.. he's the gothic type and I'm the trendy girl.. he's tall and linky... idk.. it's like he's everything I'm not.. I'm bound to him.. helpppp.......... Should I try to proceed with him and give it a shot.. or just give up... this guy has a bad home life and I wanna be there for him.. I want to make him happy and show him that I care for him..

[fredg]

Hi,
Welcome to this site, and thanks for posting a question here. I'm sure you will get some more answers that might help you.
You say you have only seen him outside of work once. If he hasn't asked you out, or even go to a movie, or anything like that, then he still considers you just a friend.
Have you asked him out? Go for it. If he won't go out with you, then you are up against a brick wall. Just keep being his friend, talking with him, and give him, and you, some time.
I firmly believe that "opposites attrack" each other. My wife of 28 yrs and I are opposites in many ways.
Are you, at the same time, meeting new people? Talking with others, making new friends, always helps.
I do sincerely wish you the best, and hope you two can eventually get together.

[linsey5683]

Hey... thanks for the reply... but this guy seems to really like me... the way he hugs me and squeezes my hand.. we've even kissed before.. and let me tell you.. when I kissed him.. I've never felt this way before.. it's like when he kissed me.. the world stopped and it was just me and him standing there kissing.. it was like a dream.. it was the best feeling ever.. and so I'm sick of this place and the people.. so I've decided to go into the army... I haven't made my final decision yet but when this guy found out.. he got really upset.. sad wise.. and he continues to tell me he doesn't want me to go.. I don't know what to do.. I don't want to stay here.. especially not for someone who's confused about what they want.. he's with that girl still.. he says he's not happy but he still sticks around.. I have no idea why though.. I don't know what to tell him.. but I can't go around mad at him.. I care for him too much.. I have to be around him.. it's like a neccessity.. it's driving me crazy.. but since I found out he was still seeing this girl.. I told him that I was giving up.. that I was going to let him do his own thing.. and just leave him alone.. and he goes well I don't want you to leave me alone.. he tells me he likes me.. but I just honestly don't know what to believe anymore.. I want to believe him with all my heart.. but something is telling me no... I question my being with him everyday.. all I come up with is.. I like this guy sooo much.. but I won't kiss him now... I hug him and that's it.. but you can tell he's attracted to me by the way he gets close to me.. like today... he held my hand so tight and when he hugged me he turned his face in towards mine.. It's like I can feel how he feels for me.. it's like he's just scared.. I'm in love...

[linsey5683]

And I've asked him out to a movie and he said he'd love to but that got screwed up because of that girl... I met her that night and confronted her and then I cursed my way out of hardee's.. I was so upset.. and when I was leaving.. he was pulling up to meet me there to go out... he didn't expect her to show up.. I don't know.. it's all just a crazy mob scene I guess... but I obviously care for him... and the whole seeing other people thing.. I have a thousand guys that like me.. and I get asked out by someone new here and there.. a guy got my number today while I was looking my worst at work.. and the guy was cute too.. but I can't seem to go out with other guys... because all I can think about is Justin.. it sucks.. I can't be happy... I just enjoy him way too much..

[s_cianci]

Continue to take your time and play it cool. Be friendly but not pushy. Right now it does seem like he's unable to make up his mind as to what he wants. Be there for him as a friend and eventually that may help him make up his mind. However don't make the mistake of trying to play rescuer. Eventually he himself has to confront whatever issues may be holding him back from pursuing what's best for him, whether it be wishy-washiness, bad home life or whatever. Whether it's meant to be or not will reveal itself in time. Just don't let your over-zealousness kill the prospect prematurely.

[Katiy]

Why do you have to be his savior? What is wrong with you, that you are so desperate that you have to find someone that is so attached to someone else? If he hasn't left her by now, to be with you, he isn't going to. I guess you like being the second violin.

[linsey5683]

Lol... actually I've moved on away from that... I told him he could have her and she could have him to both of their faces... I have bigger and better things to do.. I haven't seen him now in almost a week... he called me saying he wanted to be friends and I said no... I don't want to be around him.. I'm focusing my life on something else.. but thanks for the reply...

[Wildcat21]

Good for you. He probably will come back.