[pebbles100]

My fiancé and I are both military personnel. We are both stationed together in South Korea where it is a hardship tour meaning you can't bring family. This did not seem like a problem because his 3 yr. old daughter stays with his mother while he is deployed here. The problem just recently came when the mother of his daughter took her away and got temporary custody. She only does this to get at him, because his daughter is his weakness. She will have her visit and will keep her for weeks at a time without taking her to school or doing anything for her. There was then the incident where he had to come home from Iraq because she had went missing for a few weeks and had left her daughter with his mom, not letting her know she was coming or where she was going. And when he came home she popped up and told him that she couldn't pay her rent which was two months past due. Almost $1,000 in rent! He paid it for her because he knew that if she was to get put out his daughter wouldn't have a place to sleep. I don't know what to do, he is either upset one minute or sad. I have never been in or around a situation like this. What should he do to get full custody back, and how can I help if it happens again.

[GV70]

I am not sure but I do not think that there is a possibility for military person on active duty located outside of the USA to get full custody. In my practice that sort of children are placed in foster care.

[tawnynkids]

How did mom get temp custody? He is protected under the Soldiers and sailors civil relief act: Court Proceedings

A service member who is either the plaintiff or the defendant in a civil lawsuit may request a stay, postponement, of a court proceeding in which he/she is a party. A service member may request a stay at any point in the proceedings. However, courts are reluctant to grant stays at the pretrial phase of a lawsuit, such as discovery, depositions, etc. If a judgment is entered against a service member who is unavailable due to military orders, the service member may be able to have that judgment voided.

In order to apply for these protections the service member must actually be a party to the suit.

The provision only applies to civil lawsuits, suits for paternity, child custody suits, and bankruptcy debtor/creditor meetings.

The provision does not apply to:

* administrative hearings
* criminal proceedings
* child support determination (administrative proceedings)
* proceedings in which the service member is merely a material witness to the lawsuit, but not an actual party or
* service member has leave available and has made no attempt to use his/her leave to attend the proceedings

A service member should have his/her commander write a letter to the court and the opposing party's attorney stating that the service member is unable to attend the proceedings. The member should not have an attorney draft such a letter to the court. A letter by an attorney could be considered an appearance by the service member and could subject the service member to the jurisdiction of the court.

Maybe he can get the temp order vacated and file for custody. Even though he is deployed status he should be able to obtain custody then give his mother temp guardianship while he is away. He really needs to consult a lawyer to know for sure.